Tattooed On My Mind

Our favorite song 

It happened so fast that I never saw it coming.

I lost a good friend couple of days ago. I met him during first year of college in FEU. We became good friends for one or two semester before he transferred.

He was one of the people who accepted me for who I am and one of the few person who was so true to himself.

I don't know the whole story but last year was a huge battle for him since he undergo surgery but since then he was still so positive about life and I know he didn't dwell in sadness that I know he can still laugh and still live like nothing happened.

We communicate for a few times since last year and when we chat this year and we were planning to hang out after his scheduled check up so they will know what was his progress. He kept telling me that he's fine but sometimes he still needs to have a tank of oxygen beside him. I even joked that it will be like Hazel Grace from Fault if ever we met that I insist for him to bring a tank because we can be running out of breath because of laughing.

I can't really remember when was the last time we hang out but I think it was at SM North or at SM Marikina couple of years ago... Forgive me but I can't really remember. It was that long but I'll look on some of my pictures for answers.

When I got the news, I knew that I have to look on my box of stuff from different people because I know you gave me random stuff like hand written song lyrics (see how it was before when there are no easy access to the internet); personal letters with complete date/time/place/your name; the video that you made after that semester in FEU and before transferring to Fatima (I was so willing to share that video but there was your guy crush that I already forgot but his picture was in there!!!! You made me laugh at that. Typical Karlo move); giving me burned cd of the music that you listen so I can listen to it too but I found out that there's no Tattooed On my Mind in there; the star-origami that you put on a clean vial; the Rubics cube that I arbored from you and you didn't succeed to teach me how to solve that because I can't get it. Lol.

We kept on saying I Miss You during every conversation that we had on fb chat and I still and will miss you forever. You said we will meet when you get stronger. I greeted you on your birthday but I don't think you saw that because it wasn't seen-zoned and I know you can't do that to me.

I wish we had more time to hang out. We don't talk about traveling or going somewhere together but I know if ever we did one it will be memorable. All I can do now is read those previous conversation, read you letters and listen to the songs that you gave to me.

I can't sleep properly since I got the news that night. Maybe because I can't remember some of the certain details of the times we shared like the last time we hang out, our memories during first year days, the NSTP days, the Star City experienced, we used to text a lot but I can't remember that too, and what have you told me when you gave me the random stuff. I can remember some but I wish I can remember everything. I can't even remember why you started calling me Pot short for Bestiepot/Potpot.

I think you don't like us to see you when you're weak but I wished I was able to visit you at the hospital. Why we didn't make that planned hang out, then all of a sudden I'm just going to see you lying in that box.

This is the first time that I lost a friend. It is definitely different from people leaving because of work, personal issues or whatever and I don't know how to handle this most especially someone like Karlo.

I can't stop crying, Pot! And I'm always bringing your star-origami-in-a-vial for the next days. Thinking of getting a neon green and orange star just for you even the Stars are blind.

I'll visit you this weekend with some of our friends. - 08.01.15

One more favorite! 

I was hoping that we will visit you in a huge group but as everyone is already busy with the so called life, it was just me, Zarah and Josh who make it happened yesterday.

We even got lost for a while because Waze didn't gave the right direction and I bet your laughing at us that time. Haha but we were assuring that for sure your happy because the other block was P! Haha

It was the first time that I saw your family and we talked to your mom and sister and uncle. Saw some of your friends and I bet they will be so surprised if all of your friends will show up until the last day.

People loves you, Pot. You were so loved and I hope we did let you feel that for 26 years. All of us were sad because you left already but we are content to see you smiling even just lying in there.

I'm so sure that I will never meet anyone like you for the rest of my life because you are just that unique.

I miss you and I will always shred a tear when I think of you.

Pot, you're such a strong person that you never gave up during the whole year of fighting and I will always remember that. You'll be one of my inspiration from now on. Thank you for bringing positivity in the world full of negativity. I will forever remember your smile and your laugh.

You will never feel pain again.

Love you! And I will never stop missing you. 

photo was from our General Psychology class (2006)

People rise togethether

When they believe in tomorrow

Change today to forever

'Cause life is movin'

06.07.1989 - 07.30.2015