Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Random . December 2014

Hello favorite month. 

What if we are protecting the people who don't want to be protected? Or maybe because they are not around most of the time that they don't see the transformation. 

At some point, I knew people who have the same perspective in life. Or maybe not. 

There's no bullshit there, I knew he will really ask about it. It feels weird to know someone is watching and he cares. Maybe it was just today. Tomorrow it will be different. What more if years passed. - 12.02.2014

I miss the friendship and I still cry about it. He was once my best friend. - 12.03.2014

Its hard to see both side then you will be so confused on so many things. At the end of the day I proved that "we can only save our own self" and I started to doubt everyone when I see differently to what they say every single fucking day. Its beyond confusing and forget the other stuff. I just want to get ink to feel that pain again so it will bring me back to reality. 

When you leave, it will be different again. I'm sick of it. This world is so cruel. 

Right. Too much drama. But what if I didn't chose to be involve but I was in it because of connections? I'm trying to figure it out myself. 

You don't know because you weren't there. You are not here, either. 

I'm a rebel-sensitive who will be forever stuck on figuring things out. I don't need to explain why this and that because you will never understand. 

People choose to see whatever they want to see. I don't even know if I should believe on the word "purpose" and I don't know if I have one. 

If you have reasons and you are looking forward to a specific event well, I'm not like you. Most of the time, I don't know what is exciting to wake up so early. Waking up late is better than never waking up at all and most people will argue if you stand to "there are morning and night people". They will never buy it. As in NEVER. 

Most days, I ask why this and that. I guess, there will be no answer to most of my questions. 

Maybe I'm not okay at all and I'm the most fucked up person you will meet. 
Fucked-up-rebel-sensitive-useless. Contradicting but seems appropriate.

One more tattoo before this year ends. I wish I wish. 

War for today is over and somehow, I feel good about it. Analyze? Analyze yourself first. Don't throw the p-word on my face because I'm using it every single fucking day and I'm tired watching people doing bullshit. 

I accept that you're not perfect as much as I understand this world is not so fucking perfect. I just chose to never say anything bad about you. I bet you'll be shocked. 

I'm not saving anyone. I'm just doing whatever I know I can do to shut your mouth. 

Oh. Look who's talking. Karma is a bitch, my friend. 

You saw me this time. It was crazy but I think I handled it well even though something inside me is on panic mode but it faded fast, fast enough that I was just thinking about it after hours. For the record, I saw you and then something snaps and someone told you that I passed by. Emotional attachment is fucking real. - 12.11.14

Am I really prepared for that close encounter? After today, I doubted my confidence but I knew compared to before, this time it was a less ache. I can't bring back yesterday by smashing my complaints into your face. Nothing will change. It will still be a rough road and I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm just missing the friendship. - 12.11.14

Maybe it was meant to happen. Same place, same time, unexpectedly but I know I handled it better than before. - 12.11.14 

If this life is a movie or a book, I bet I will see you again today. Unfortunately, this is reality. - 12.12.14 

Wow. Traffic is really insane. 

PVRIS is my current jam. 

When I saw that smile, I knew that so many things have changed and I'm really happy for you. That will do for now. Baby steps. - 12.15.14

After books, I'm here hooked up on new tv series. Thankful that I'm already done watching Monk and that last episode was bitter sweet. I discovered a full season 1,2,3 and a half of season 4 of Once Upon A Time when I copied movies from Nikka. And I don't know what was the trigger of trying Orange is the New Black but I'm almost done with season 1. I'm enjoying these new series its very different from crime series that I loved but there's something with these series that I can't explain. Mostly, it was all about life itself but Once Upon A Time was also exciting with all the connection of Snow White to Red Riding Hood, its like we need to know what was behind of the famous stories. Yes, my life is so exciting. Books. TV series. Photography. Movies. Sleep. Eat. Music. Repeat. 

I'm just done with Orange Is The New Black season 1 and wow. It reminds me that everything have a fucked up system and some of us want to have the good while some will be forever selfish. Reminds me to save my own ass every time and that sometimes, its better not to talk because it can get you to a lot of troubles. I'm thinking of re-watching every thing when I'm done with season 2 because I can relate to it most of the time. Uh oh. Piper lost all of it. We all have that moment but hopefully not to the extent that we will kill someone. 

Once Upon A Time is my company series every night and I'm almost done with season 1. Makes me amazed that every story that we read on books are all connected at some point. It doesn't make any sense but we can all imagine something out of the ordinary. Who can think that the Evil Queen from Snow White was the one behind on every disaster in a story? No one but the creator of Once Upon A Time. Love it. 

The feeling of being unwanted is never easy. I have to fight everything on my own. 

Too many familiar faces makes me dislike Ortigas area. #MANTRA !!!!!!!

Christmas will never be the same without our own santa. I miss you daddy, papa and ikong.

Birthday. 25 years. 25 years of a roller coaster ride. Thank you to everyone who remembered by heart and not by just some post or notification on facebook, thanks for the effort tho. Haha. I'm not a big fan of facebook and I think everyone should know it by now. Usually, I get emotional during my birthday but it was less emotional this year. People say make a wish and I can't think of any other thing than my usual #mantra and maybe someone who doesn't deserve all the walls that I built. Anyway, thank you again. - 12.27.14

When I connect the dots, everything is so messy and then I stopped believing on everything at the moment. Should I apologize for that or its just how life works? - 12.28.14

My facebook is exploding. Again, thank you to everyone who greeted me by seeing the post of my mom. 

Orphan Black is my new addiction. Remind me that we can only save our own self. 

Fiction series makes me question a lot of things and a lot of "what if....". 

If I'm going to choose one over movies or series, I'll choose series. Series because there's a lot to tell on series without a limit on time unlike the movies but it also depends on how long it will be on air but on series there are cookie cutter (the mid season finale and the season finale). The waiting game is insane. 

A little update on what I'm watching lately were; Jane The Virgin, How To Get Away With Murder, Orange is the New Black, Once Upon a Time, Orphan Black and of course; Bones, Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS New Orleans, The Mindy Project, New Girl and The Walking Dead. That's almost a long list. Hehe. Can you believe that I didn't realized that Matt McGorry was in OITNB and HTGAWM until I stalked his Instagram and Twitter. Hehe. I'm catching up to the new ones but I'm done with OITNB and I can't wait for season 3. I'm currently watching Once Upon a Time Season 3 and Orphan Black Season 2. I'll make sure that I'll be updated by the time they will be back on air next year. That explained why I have a lot of movies but I don't watch them ASAP maybe when the series will be on its summer break I'll do some movie marathon. 
Any series you recommend? 

Maybe its just me but Paul from Orphan Black can pass as Christian Grey. I think he fit the description on the book perfectly. 

Never saw that my Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve will be like this but yeah its fine as long as its for family.

I don't want to be a hero.

Last day of the year and for me it feels like its just a month end and tomorrow will be a new month. Nothing new.

Happy Last Day of 2014.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Happy GoPro

Too many life events from the past months that I wish I already have a GoPro but unfortunately, I have to wait and hopefully, there will be worth documenting on. When I got the GoPro mid November, my work life had been super busy. I tried in a couple of events but it just doesn't feel right to use it yet.

I got it at youpoundit because they gave a 1000 pesos off and I also got myself the 3-way just because I need it and I think I don't need any other monopod for it.

Thank you to youpoundit team and for delivering it personally. sorry if I haven't sent any feedback to you because of my busy work life but I'm happy with it. :)) THANK YOU!!! 

Hopefully, there will be an event where its worth it to be documented. Dang, if I have a car, I'll put one mount to it so I can document my road trip moments.

I can't wait to use it on something exciting and I'm still on the process of knowing it. Our status is still complicated. Haha

Happy Birthday to me!

Friday, December 26, 2014

On Repeat . PVRIS

White Noise by PVRIS

I started to listen to PVRIS when everyone on my timeline are talking about their music and White Noise wasn't even released by then it was just their Acoustic EP with 4 songs. I like it and I mix the 4 songs to my other playlists and then not until the 2nd week of December when I played it non-stop because of one unexpected event in my life. I don't know but it seems appropriate at that time. I don't know but it sounds like Versa, well not really but at some point it is because Blake produced it. I can't pick a favorite!!!

"But I wasn't compose broken bones and demon limbs" - Demon Limbs | PVRIS 

Thursday, December 25, 2014

On Repeat . Maroon Swift

V by Maroon 5
1989 by Taylor Swift

Ever since "1989" came out, I listen to it for hours in a day together with "V". I started to be curious about Maroon 5 when I started to watch The Voice and I searched their latest album and boom, I like it. For me not to be bored on a single artist, I make sure that I'll mix it up with another so I'll hit 2 birds in 1 playlist.

I don't usually listen to this kind of music but as I said before, its part of growing up and maybe it includes the transformation of the artist as he/she makes music. And no regrets, its just experimenting just like how I experiment with my hair.

Give it a try if you haven't listen to any of the two albums. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

FYI, I'm a Girl . Last for 2014

I think I don't need to explain anything regarding to these expect that this are the things that I'm using lately and I love them.

As on typing this, I'm waiting in line to get home from a mall stroll with Gem and upon waiting for her earlier I drop by at NYX at Megamall. Dude! The girls are just discovering the brand and it was a bitter sweet moment because I've been in-love with it for a year and a half now. As if I don't know anything about it and the girl who was purchasing something was thinking what the fuck I'm doing there since I don't look like someone who loves make up when she doesn't know that I almost got 15 (or more) lipstick from NYX. Haha. And I even knew what was the shade she liked because I have that. Lol. Makes me think that those girls who get excited about a specific brand don't spend too much time online. Haha. One advantage of reading blogs and some other stuff and the power of online-browsing-shopping and youtube. Hahaha

Anyways, that's my rant.

(top to buttom) 
Chunky Dunk: Pomegranate Margarita, Caramel Martini; Simply Vamp: She Devil

Well, my NYX collection is getting bigger and its a bit cheaper than mall price when you get something online without the hassle and stuff. So girl, back off! And don't judge someone who was just wearing a short and a shirt and a sneakers. Hahaha.

Now, I can finally say that this will be the last batch of make up this year. Till next year's version of Fyi, I'm a girl.

Get something girly stuff for yourself this holiday season. :)

Merry Christmas! 

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

On Repeat . Tell Me It's Okay

Tell Me It's Okay by Paramore

Just another song that speaks for itself. It's been on repeat on my computer for 500x already not included the time I played it on my phone and on the iPad. (I'm not OA. I'm just telling the truth.)

Maybe its been years since I genuinely smiled
Maybe its been years since I wanted to be a part of anything
But lately I've been good you know I've actually been great
Man, I even laughed a little today, aw so strange, you're so strange

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now
Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now
Tell me its okay(x4)

Thought it as my right to be as sorry as I wanted to be
I wasted all my teenage years being a misery factory
But something had to give, I had to finally see the light
I think at 23 its time to practice what I preach
And what I preach is:

All my wasted hope, I let go when I should've held tighter
And now the sun out, I let it burn not afraid of feeling shine
On me

Tell me it's okay (x8)

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now
Tell me its okay to be happy now, my life is finally leveling out, so
Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now
Tell me its okay to be happy now, my life is finally leveling out, so
Tell me its okay(x4)