Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Random . March 2020



Fast food overload for the first day of this month. 

I’m asking why but at the same time I understand. 

Nashville. Stay strong. You will always be one of the state that I will visit in this lifetime. 

This life is too stressful for me to elaborate. 

Don’t ask me how I’ve been. 

It can be a mistake but it can be also a message. 

Everyone is sick of the system and the cycle but guess what, the higher ones will never care or even listen. 

You’re in a “complaint desk”. Your job is to listen on the complain and hopefully be a tool to fix the problem. Why do you think I’m asking for help if the problem is not under your department. Don’t pass some lapses to other people and there’s obviously a way to solve it just suggest that idea rather than end up with another complain to my face. / That government agency really frustrates me so much. Strike 2 already. 

There’s really a danger if you share a lot on social media. 

Will it be too much if I ask for a “go signal” next week? #2020goal

Love letter is the only acceptable letter to receive. 

Does we all hate paper work. 

Why am I seeing these people. Lol

Why am I day dreaming about the beach. Badly need some vitamin sea. 

Now I dreamed about Palawan. Missing that place so much. 

“Sometimes, everything happens at once.” - Prentiss #CriminalMinds S15E02

Why do people walk so slow. 

Last two episodes of #CriminalMinds and I’m sure that I’ll miss the group but I know it will be a perfect ending for this series. For sure I’ll cry. 

Feel so sorry for people who locked their self into a small world. There are other things in life than just being a villain. 

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive” - Josephine Hart #CriminalMinds 

“You don’t feel any sense of victory if you win because the process is so dehumanizing” - Taylor Swift #MissAmericana 

If Saturday can be peaceful, there’s something about Sunday that’ can make you feel so alone and lonely and sad. 

Oh please. No calls on Sunday. Please don’t make wrong calls and text first. Isn’t it that hard. 

Mom. Don’t ask me questions that I basically don’t know the answer. Lol 

Why there are still people insisting to travel abroad in the middle of COVID19. It’s more hassle to take the risk of traveling and the airport hassle is real. You will never know if your flight will be cancel or not or if there will be ban on which country you’re from and destination. As much I can relate on some need to escape from our daily lives, and the annual travel plans, I think sacrificing this time will not hurt much. Prevention is better than cure. Except ofw that are going home, totally understandable. 

I just can’t stand people who will never try to understand explanation and situation. 

You didn’t care and you already discard so many relationships. Why started to pretend that you fucking care when you really don’t. 

Another month. #2020goal

Sitting along while strangers passed by in the middle of this outbreak. I’m drinking Jamba Juice before going back to hometown and stress myself for the rest of the week. 

Hello. I’m not sure where you are but I miss you. #21

Daddy. Thank you for the visit. #dream

This current reality is like chapter 8 of “The Stand”. 

There’s so many thoughts in my head but I don't want to arrange it. I just want this busy week to be over before I entertain it.

I’m eating a cookie that’s a little bit chewy. Not your style but there’s a hint of salt in this cookie that reminded me of you. 

In this time of pandemic consider everything is temporary over.

Can I just disappear 

So frustrating

Don’t let me breakdown in a middle of busyness 

I wanted to take a rest for a bit but I end up cooking dinner

Current news is so stressful, I’m just gonna do what should I do before the weekend. 

So pissed. 

Do we need to point fingers now on who’s fault this is?

I’m seeing the villains grin and I want to punch that face. 

With this “community quarantine” I’m having a lot of realization and thoughts. This is insane. 

I read positive and negative thoughts, opinions about this certain situation when we are all locked down for a month. I might write something long about this that I'm not so sure if I'm going to publish online but yeah that will eventually affect everything that I will be writing soon. Stay safe.

After the super moon, this happened and I haven’t seen the moon since then. 

I'm an introvert. I like alone time and I’m not going to be bored inside the house but I’m still doing my daily routine. 

I’m so anxious that I need a social media break hopefully I will be able to read 2 books the next days. 

“The past is the past for a reason sometimes” - Khloe Kardashian

24 years. 03.18.2020

I’m not used on an empty street at late afternoon. I only see empty road when I’m going home late. 

Somehow thankful that our internet is acting up before I sleep so I will not be so anxious on what I can read on Twitter. 

One way or another, people will still get offended. 

Watched 2 movies and I might start a new docu-series and I still have 2 books for this month. 

So weird to feel that tomorrow morning might start a real apocalypse.

As an introvert I got no problem on staying at home for a month but I also need to see other people. 

This is the moment that the earth is telling us to slow down. 

When all of this is over, will we still take some privilege for granted?

Staying away from Facebook for a year or two  now and I’m not going to be accused of ghosting for questions that I will not answer. 

Dyed my hair. 

If people call and didn’t text why is it considered not important right? 

One thing I miss seeing on people face is their smile. It’s covered with mask lately. 

Will this be really over in 3 weeks? I’m not even sure if we will survive until then. 

If it's not because of this quarantine, I’m probably gonna be spending the rest of the day or the whole weekend with Brobabes. 03.22.2020

FYI. Money will never save you in our current situation. 

I really don’t mind staying inside the house but knowing that we’re ordered to stay at home and never go out, its a different feeling. 

People should stop putting their hearts on every rant they post online. Most especially on Facebook at this time of crisis.

This is one reason why I somehow stayed away from Facebook.

So much anxiety.

Everyone is developing Germophobia. 

Be kind to other people because you will never know when will you need their help.

I hate people we're nosy. 

Seriously why you’re always in my dreams? #17

Was dad apologizing to his friends or he’s apologizing to me? #dream 03.26.2020

Some people don’t really know how to play the game.

Maybe consider of having it already than wait for the results before taking some serious action. #Virus 

When it is better in my head than saying it out loud. 

Choose your battles. Seriously stop defending. People will never believe if they decided not to.

#TheTrialsOfGabrielFernandez

#TigerKings

So they are calling it a “new world” now. 

Not so sure how many times that I feel so frustrated lately but yeah certain situation is still so frustrating. 

If you have money, you should realize that you don’t have to spend it so fast. 

The future is so blurry. The next day, week and month is so unpredictable.

Break the cycle. 

You just gonna deal with my old school stuff. 

You will never prepared for anything. 

Amidst the chaos, forgive me. Boomerang. 

When you badly needed to put it on good use but sadly it was stolen. 

I wasn't able to read a book this month but I'll try to read 1-3 books for the month of April.

Super weird dream that I had to call him as soon as I wake up. Reality check. #21

Can't you fucking rephrase a text before forwarding it to somebody else. 

I'm very much aware of an error but so frustrated with people who doesn't have a fucking consideration in life due to our current life situation. I already blaming people in my head for this. 

Tonight, I was able to see a glimpse of the moon once again. 

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Smile and Letters



You are like a kid at a candy store
That your face literally lit up with a smile
When you realized that I squeezed in some letters
I somehow felt bad
That most of it are a little bitter and sad

03.26.2018

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Daydream



Been avoiding to write all my daydream
I'm so tempted to do it just to make you aware
On how I daydream spending time with you
Somehow longer than the usual, of course
Longer than the always quick trip

03.25.2018

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

On Repeat . I Feel So Sad (Stripped)

I Feel So Sad (Stripped) by Halsey


I wanna start this out and say

I gotta get it off my chest
Got no anger, got no malice
Just a little bit of regret
Know nobody else will tell you
So there's some things I gotta say
Gonna jot it down and then get it out
And then I'll be on my way
No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
Oh, I feel so sorry

I feel so sad
I tried to help you
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin'
About who you are
I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down
And then ran so fuckin' far
That you would never ever touch me again
Won't see your alligator tears
'Cause, no, I've had enough of them
Let me start this off by sayin'

I really meant well from the start
Take a broken man right in my hands
And then put back all his parts
But you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, girls and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)

I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin' (I had no warnin')
About who you are ('bout who you)
Just glad I made it out without breakin' down
Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)
I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin' (I had no)
About who you are ('bout who you)
'Bout who you are
Hey

Hey
Hey
Hey
'Cause you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
I feel so sad

You should be sad
You should be
You should be sad
You should be
You should be
You should be

Monday, March 09, 2020

Call



I just want to know where you are
Maybe I already want to see you again
Or maybe just to hear your voice
Since it's my instant stress reliever
Sorry if I make you worry
Next time I will text first
And just call if needed

03.24.2018

Saturday, March 07, 2020

On Repeat . Always Tomorrow

Always Tomorrow by Best Coast





On the first listen I already like "Everything Has Changed" and "Make It Last".

The vibe is very Best Coast and I like it most especially that it's almost summer. It feels like its always chill-time when Best Coast is playing in the background. 

If you are looking for a new music, why not try the very-chill-vibe of this album. 




Saturday, February 29, 2020

Random . February 2020



Started this month with hometown friends ❤️. 

Finally after 3 months. #21 02.02.2020

You think I don’t know that? I’m actually doing it on purpose. 

Reading this book followed by watching Hayley being so honest and comfortable in an interview was a little bit of therapy for me. Makes me rethink and pause for a moment. A lot to take in and to process at almost 5am. 

One more week of waiting. #2020goal 

I guess some people are either blind or just naive. 

Next time I don’t want to feel like this anymore. 

5 songs. Ms. Williams is spoiling us too much. 

Not starting this week right so I’m hoping for a personal good news on Thursday. 

And the bad vibes keeps on coming. 

If you are not guilty then act as you are not. 

Been trying to avoid being emotional or just expressing feelings lately because it seems inappropriate. Little tears from here and there isn’t surprising at all. 

A little help will never hurt. 

As a person with trust issues, I refuse to comment on everything. 

One more month. #2020goal

When the blood in your veins is pure hatred. 

Badly missing the good old days. 

Maybe I wished to be numb toward some things and now that I’m already used to it, I’m a little bit searching for feelings. 

A self satisfaction of one is a burden to so many. 

Valentines. 

When your heart is full of hatred and anger. 

I feel so sorry for you that you felt so unloved but also it was your decision to block that feeling in your system. 

Maybe I was expecting a little love on Valentines despite of the hate that’s been spreading endlessly but no. Maybe lighter days doesn’t deserve a day if it’s meant to be the beautiful end of darkness. 

“Love happens all the time” still one of my favorite tattoo. 

I want to write all this feelings even the anger and life questions but I think I rather start to read the book for this month to shake all of it so I’ll burst sooner than later. // oops. I wrote a little then started to read.

There’s satisfaction seeing other people happy. Enough to see that positivity is still happening. 

With this kind of stress. Do you think I’m still planning my life ahead? 

Being impatient while waiting patiently. 

Trimmed my nails, face mask and trimmed my hair. 

I need some distraction while waiting. #2020goal

This book really got a lot of feelings. I’m screwed and distracted. I like. In the morning, it’s back to reality. Goodnight. #ItEndsWithUs 

Stop passing other people’s problems to me. I can’t even handle my own anymore. 

I’d like to be a morning person but there’s more peace at night. 

I’m not sure if it was a wise decision but it still feels good. #worklife

Another Colleen Hoover book, done. I’ll go back reading her. Promise. 

Friday nights are somehow my favorite. 

The world is testing mg patience. 

I want to upgrade my phones but #2020goal isn’t achieved yet. 

There’s something peaceful about Saturday. 

The other day, I baked now I cooked spaghetti which are not perfect. 

H. That was betrayal. #17 02.24.2020

Can’t wait for the release of new phones so I can finally upgrade. 

Just watched the recorded IG live of Hayley. What a way to start the morning. 

I really don’t mind crossing paths with you, I just don’t know what’s the right way to react or greeting to say. #17

No. I’m not over tattoos and I think I will never be. 

Maybe I felt betrayed but that proves that I just missed the friendship. No doubt. #17

Nope. You don’t need to tell me that. 

So many thoughts in my head that I may need a week-off. Lol as if. 

So weird to have this kind of thought in the morning. 

That will be more awkward than to bump in with my ex-best friend. Lol

I’m not sure if you are regretting it now or just at least thinking about that wrong move. / oh. plot twist. 

Move on. 

Some people really change for the worst, huh. 

Busy week. Done. 

Last day of the month. February 29 2020. 

There’s something really off on Huawei phones. 

This month was quick.