Random . April 2015

1 Timothy 6:10

I didn't hit the one year mark and I think it will just be a good-friday-habit. Just once a year? Its better than not having any chance. Hopefully it will be a different from last year. #mantra 

WTF. All I thought it will be a friendly dinner but why do I feel different? Are you a user now? Makes me want to cancel. 

If this day will end differently than I thought then I saw it coming. 

I think you can make the decision on the spot because that's what you do but I appreciate the effort.  

Maybe your sober for days now. 

The complications of life. 

All ended on the good side of things. I think it will never end that way. My bad if I conclude something unacceptable. 

Thinking of my next ink is a bit hard. Why. 

I thought I will be able to defend myself from one of his friends but I was wrong. Who will believe me when no one knows the real deal/the real story/the truth behind our friendship? No one. And you are telling lies about me, what for? Protection? Or something else? Its not funny. I hope our conversation will be delivered to you sooner than later. With the kind of technology today, I hope he already sent you a screen cap of that. #17 040815

If I explained everything, will you do your best just to understand all of it or you will use all of your willpower not to understand a single word? 

"Somethings are better left unsaid". 

If you're not involved why get yourself involve? It's not a party. 

Close minded people everywhere. I hope my patience will last. 

Then I wondered ...... But I don't want to go on that thought. #17

There's too many new faces on this episode of Criminal Minds but NOAH FROM TWD IS A GUEST TOO!!!!! Omggg. I think I'm the only one who do fan girl moments when I'm seeing other stars from another series to another. 

Since you already mentioned his name I decided to tell you the latest. Haha. We're not "close friends" but I decided to tell you since I know you will deliver the message. Haha. I'm not bitter just ranting. But trust me, I know he knows the truth that's why he's not asking you. #17 04.10.15 

Always thankful for the people who keep an open mind. 

Been there, done that. Haha. I bet you hair will be green next time. 

If you're not using that, I have another chance. #mantra 

You should not use a word when you don't know how to show the meaning of it because even you use it gazillion times, it is not believable. Coming from you its thrice unbelievable. 

Its hard to change the usual stuff but I'm not against on any change just do it small step at the time and it should be simple than complicated and, it should be practical. 

Ha! Now I know. You're still immature. Grow up, man! #17

After having second thought, I decided to stick to my original plan. I just need a budget. YAY! -04.12.15

I'm so addicted to The Blacklist! Next time I'll talk about my TV series and my SEESTRA WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK!!!!! 

Your virus is spreading like Nutella and I'm not happy about it. Too insensitive. 

Irritated eyes due to the weather. Hopefully I'll be okay later because I need to finish something. And this means no contact lens for days just glasses. :( 

OMG. Thank you, Vail! 

Someone just asked me if we are best friends, connect my hair color to yours and I got too defensive. I should stop being defensive when it comes to you because clearly, I'm still upset with this situation but I realized one thing, you're still immature. #17 04.21.15

We're ex-best friends. He wasn't my ex-boyfriend when he was telling everyone that I was once his girlfriend. When I knew that he was telling that to his friends, I just started to say too that he was my ex-boyfriend when all we know is the truth that we were just best friend. I will not lie about the emotional attachment that we have because it is real. I don't know if his wife know everything about it but I doubt that anyone knew what was our emotional attachment. Believe it or not, we haven't talk for so long and we never discuss things unless it was via text and mostly, I just try to figure it out by myself that's why I have gazillion unanswered questions. I'm not going to explain any further because it was over years ago and to people who know us both, what you see is what you get. #17 04.21.15

Don't assume that I don't want to, you don't have any idea how much I'm praying for it. 

What was that dream all about? Its just a dream but that was.....  04.22.15

Pushing everyone away is your forte? I should have know. 

Most of the time, I need time to be alone. 

Your obsession with that is the reason why I hate it. Its just a color, how about your personality/attitude/manner?

I was the one who choose that. Why not just accept the fact that its the main thing? It will not change you anyway. 

Different books, different stories, different situations but they gave me a few answer to my unanswered questions. #17

Can I get over with pink? I don't think so. Oh you haven't seen my pink docs/pink converse/pink vans/pink headphones/neon pink socks/iPad casing/pink havaianas! 

Uhm, how about a petition? 

Haha! Some people don't know how to be sneaky. 

When you watch crime series, your expectations from a local TV show is so high or at least do something exciting most especially if its a gun-scene. 

2 extra iPods feels like a new usb because your previous ones are almost full. 

I'm so disappointed with you. 

Apparently, no one understand your English carabao. I thought I was the only one. Haha. One day, you will just hit my bitchy button and there will be no advance notification.

It's so weird that there's an island called "execution island".

I have a lot of things to do today but first, dentist visit and I've been waiting for 30min now. Been waiting now for an hour... I should have bought my iPod. Zzzzz

You should know better than that!

Create Inspire and Be Nice

I think it was 2012 or 2013 when Charlavail started selling beanies online and everyone was so crazy about it until this day. The difference was, before her beanies are sold out minutes after she put it online but for now her bigcartel will be down for a while because she will be on the road.

After being jealous to everyone on instagram wearing it, I finally ordered one for myself last month when she posted that she will put it online again and she indicate the time and living in a different timezone, it will be 2AM in my country and an hour early she tweeted or posted on instagram that it's now available. I didn't think twice this time I ordered a black Be Nice beanie. (03.25.15)

April 13, 2015 - I received a letter from the post office that I need to get a package and I knew it already arrived but it was already pass 5PM. I was planning to get the beanie the next day but I got too much to do so I decided that I'll just get it tomorrow when I'm already done with my responsibilities for the day. I was motivated to finish everything so I can get the package, I even finish some errands too. Such a productive day. Then I was sick the next day. Great. Lol

When I was back from some errands and getting the beanie, I opened it and .... I got a different one from my order. :/  I got a Create Inspire instead of a Be Nice and it was mix emotion on my part because I didn't got what was my order. I knew this was possible because I read before that it already happened and knowing that she's filling too many orders and she's still renovating the camper and she's just doing it all by herself, I totally understand the mix up but I still want to let her know. I emailed Vail and I told her that I got the wrong beanie and its okay but I'll try again next time to get the Be Nice when it will be available again. She replied the next day saying sorry about it and that she sent me the right beanie and then there's an email already from Stamps. I asked her if I should return the Create Inspire and her reply, "Nope! You'll just have two! :P".

It wasn't my intention to ask for another one or to change it either but when she just sent me the correct order and not asking on sending back the other one, WOW. The only thing that I can do living thousands away from her is to support her upcoming project which is The Happiest Camper. By this time its over but I was able to contribute to that. 

This makes me appreciate Vail even more and for sure this will not be the last time that I'll be supporting her. How I wish that I'm living in the US so I can meet her during The Happiest Camper trip. 

I'll just wait for the Be Nice to arrive maybe 2-3 weeks of waiting game. 

Moreover, its always summer in this country so I don't know yet where to wear it or maybe I'll just wait for ber-months. Lol.

Create Inspire and Be Nice | Charlavail

Hair Dye-ary . Cut and Color

I'm really planning to have a hair cut couple of weeks ago and the day I'm all set to go to a parlor, every parlor was already closed because it was graduation season. Maybe it was the right sign because I don't really know what hair cut I wanted to get if they asked me. Then I took it as a sign that I should really cut my own hair just like I did before. Instead of paying a hair dresser, I just bought an ordinary scissor and search online video on how to cut my own hair with layers. 

At first, I don't understand how it will have a layer but then I get it. All of the videos that I watched just do the same thing but no one actually explained more details and I just need to discover it by myself. I did what was said on the videos and I was like "screw it, it's just a hair and it will grow back" if I do something bad but I didn't, though I cut the bangs short enough because I secure my pony tail near my scalp. Next time I'll not include my upper hairline so it will not be too short and I'm planning on buying a scissor for the hair so I will not be using an ordinary scissor but it was okay to use as long as it can cut. Haha

Also, I made sure that I already have a new jars of Manic Panic on my hands before a hair cut. It was always hard to choose from different colors on what to try next but since the two jars that was left in me was both neon (Electric Banana and Electric Lizard) I decided to get something dark but noticeable and a bit way far from the range of orange, brown and yellow since my hair is on that range when its faded. Sadly, both neon are not good together. Since 2013, I really wanted to try a good green but it wasn't available by then so I end up with Electric Lizard but it's not what it was if my hair just end up on brownish after bleach. I'm always afraid on bleaching part because I don't want to burn my hair. :/ So, I ordered Venus Envy and Cleo Rose because I fell in love with pink since the Hot-Hot-Pink-jar-days which was 2012. 

Since, my hair is still a faded orangey I can't bleach it again so I just retouched it with my new purchase.

the result of doing my own haircut

I love the combination and it was the perfect green! YAY! I'm happy with it and I can't wait to bleach again soon. 

 Since it's summer here, almost everyone is joining the hair-dye-bandwagon and its always good to go with a different color than the usual. Been doing that since 2012. 

For the record, since I started dyeing my hair it was never all black again and I guess it will never go back to all-black again. 

Thank you, Jane of funkystreaks.com . :)

Did you see that shooting star tonight?
Were you dazzled by the same constellation?
Did you and Jupiter conspire to get me?
I think you and the Moon and Neptune got it right
'Cause now I'm shining bright, so bright
Bright, so bright

Bright | Echosmith

Road Trip . Villa Escudero

We went to Villa Escudero in Laguna last February and I don't have too much to tell so just check my videos. haha

another videos - here and here

all taken by GoPro Hero 4 Silver | edited on iMovie on my iPad Mini 2 

more photos on My Photographs

Random . March 2015

posted late because I'm out yesterday 

Wow. That was very unexpected. #17

We saw each other this time. It was the right thing to happen at the right time and maybe the right place. Weird but it was good. I know you're happy, I saw it but the emotional attachment between us will never go away. Maybe its good to say that we are in good terms now. #17 - 03.02.15

Maybe she knows or not but should I really care about it?

Perfect closure maybe. Eye to eye for seconds, almost trying to say something but nothing comes out (somethings are better left unsaid), just a nod and a sincere smile. Closure. That's it. I'll accept that even there were gazillion unanswered questions before. Thankful that it also ended between us (just like 10 years ago), not too many people, no one saw us looking straight at each other, no distraction. Feels like it was just the both of us and everything stopped. Surreal but I'll take it. Thank you. #17 - 03.02.15

I still miss you everyday because what we had isn't bullshit, it was fucking real. There are reason why once in this life we were best friends and I admit, the connection was still there. It will never go away, I guess. #17

Baby steps but yesterday was already a huge step for me. Whatever the next step will be, I'm ready. #17

It was really nice to have that moment. Just like before, everything was just between us. It will be hard for me to move on from this because feels like I waited for it for so long. #17

MANTRA!!!!!! Hahaha. Permission please!

Seriously? You make me laugh so hard!

I bet you will forget your name too.

Simple questions should have uncomplicated answers.

I've watched half of the 50 Shades of Grey movie and .... Still, books over movies!

There's so much to tell if people will just ask most especially if they really care.

I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be one, I just want to be nice to everyone. Unfortunately, they see whatever they want to see.

People are too blind.

Don't go there! I'm too fragile!

That reading makes me understand Papa more. I miss you everyday! - 03.08.15

I'm so not into that side of this world.

I wrote something after watching Love, Rosie. Too many triggered the emotion that have been sleeping inside me. 

Popular people have memories through their videos online, TV shows, interviews while most of us just witness through our eyes, trying to save it on our brain and trying to replay it for our memories. Trying to remember every detail even though its hard because as time goes by, it was slowly fading on our memory.

When you need to talk about feelings to someone even its full of shame on your part, do it. You don't want to regret it at the end. #love

We never got a chance to talk about it because we took time for granted and now we never had a chance to talk and maybe never will. But we both know there's a lot more to talk about. #conflicts

Its always fun to watch a basketball game.

I'm going back to somewhere nice. Soon.

Some people don't see when you're hurting inside for years because they just don't care.

Uh, what does that dream means? So confusing. - 03.15.15

11 months. #MANTRA!!!!

Watching PBA is not a total pressure to us unlike when its UAAP season. Dude! I'm anxious days before a game! Haha.

That's not a good joke most especially if I really want that permission. #mantra

Finally, I was able to give Pia my super overdue gift. And I'll miss her even though we don't see each other that much, she's a good friend. See you someday, Pretty P! Thank you for the time you gave to me earlier, it's better than not seeing you before you leave. Love you! - 03.18.15

It's hard to leave most especially if you are doing something for others every month and if you know you owe some people so much and the only thing to give back is be there for them and never leave. In general, when you think of others first before yourself. You really need to sacrifice a bunch of things.

Good thing for other people they have the opportunity and someone plans something for them.

It's bitter sweet but if you know how fucked up the system here, all you wanted is leave. But we have different situations in life so it will never be the same for the both of us. Sacrifice.

Try to see the big picture. Most people don't want to because they're "living the life".

I don't like that side because I'm not into it and I don't like doing something that my heart isn't happy about. I may not like the ending which is not being myself.

Its easy to bash someone most especially if you don't know everything about them.

Sadly, its the bad side of social media.

I know better so I know what the right thing to do.

Uhm, no one owns it so I don't see any problem about it.

2 words or 1 or the bars? I'm having second thoughts on my original plan.

Girls season 4 finale is one of the best finale. I can't wait for season 5.

Who cares when its always sunny in this country, I ordered a Charlavail beanie! - 03.25.15

I'm now cutting every stuff that's not too important so I can save.

Are you inspired with my not-so-good dip dye? Because your hair color just matches mine. Hehe. By the way, I'm having a haircut this week and a new Hair Dye-ary post, soon. #17 - 03.25.15

The Mindy Project season 3 finale is also a good one! I love seeing the ex-boyfriends! Haha. Renew it, please!

I cut my own hair. Thank you, youtube for teaching me how to cut my own hair with layers. Haha. More details on my next hair dye-ary post. :)

Is it weird that I'm so proud of myself? Looking back without anybody noticing my effort, dedication, life experience in general makes me want to tear up a little and give myself some life-awards. I know my dad knows and I think I'm making him so proud. I miss you, daddy! (This is the only thing that can make me feel better when everyone is judging).

People don't look on the past, they look into the 'now' without noticing that now is happening because of the past. Moreover, we all are different. Living in a different situation, living different lives and having different life decisions. Stop comparing.

I dreamt of two people and I think its time to pay them a visit next month when I originally planned to visit them this month. If I'm going to visit them soon then I should make up my mind now.

THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 5 FINALE WAS INSANELY AMAZING. THE BEST FINALE SO FAR. 

OKAY FINE. EVERY SEASON FINALE IS AMAZING.

Beyond every game.

No one will understand Gem and I when it comes to basketball most especially PBA. Well, maybe Lhea and Kit will but other than them, no one will. 

I posted on my instagram before that "On PBA, we don't support a specific team because we're fan of different players but UAAP is a different story" which is so true. 

(I'm here again with my history of basketball) I started watching basketball when I was a sophomore in high school then I somehow stopped watching when I left a group of friends who played for the school. Then I met my (ex)best friend during junior year and I never stopped since then. I somehow wished I know how to play but being a fan is better than not having interest on basketball. 

Before, I do watch NBA but somethings are a bit complicated to understand with the trade and stuff so I stopped but I'm a fan of a few players and some teams. I don't like PBA before because back then, I don't understand some issues but mostly, I don't understand why people are so loyal to a team when most players come and go. (I still don't understand until now but I respect them for being loyal to a team who doesn't have a fix line up for the rest of time. And I have no idea how they adjust when a player they love was traded and they need to stick with the love for the team). 

I'm not starting any campaign or whatever but I'm really a huge fan of different players. 

~

I started watching UAAP basketball during junior year and since then I'm a huge UAAP basketball fan. I used to like different teams then FEU won it's 19th title when I was a senior and I hate them because I don't like the color of their jersey and less than a year after that, I'm enrolled in FEU. 

Since 2006, I'm a loyal supporter of FEU basketball but I prioritized school so I just watch games on TV every weekend when there was a basketball game or if I'm free during the weekday game. Luckily, some TVs at school are open when there is a game. 

I started to watch live during the 72nd season and I never stopped since then. Season 74 was the most memorable because Gem and I became close because of basketball and everything since then is a history and we are still building memories inside and outside of the coliseum and the arena. 

Last Wednesday, together with my aunt and uncle we watched PBA. This is the first time to watch with them and my first time to watch a PBA game in Antipolo. My experience in one word: Insane!

I've been watching live in Araneta for years, witnessed some PBA players when they were just playing in the UAAP or PBA D-League and when they go outside Manila, everyone is so excited to see them for the first time and to watch a game live. It was cute because they cheer loud and they were a bit innocent compare to my experience (not trying to insult anyone). Also the live-basketball-action is another story. 

I even see some PBA players from FEU back then. I still remember when I first saw Arwind Santos on LB wearing a red shirt talking to some friends; when I saw Barocca in front of the Admin building; when we are crossing Morayta together with Benedict Fernandez, Rachel Ann Daquis together with Mac Baracael, when I rode a jeepney from LRT to Morayta and Paul Sanga and Aldrech Ramos was on the same jeepney. And now, their famous on PBA. Every player from FEU, we usually support them because we all bleed green and gold. (I remember the Exhibition Game). Some players are not yet famous because they haven't played in the PBA but they are somehow involve in a way like Jens Knuttel is a practice player of Ginebra. 

Not just the FEU players, I've seen Greg Slaughter, Emman Monfort, do their moves when they were still in Ateneo and I used to hate them but now I'm just amazed on how they play and how people cheer for them. 

While some are not that famous or because some people are just looking on the one side but I know them because I saw them play in UAAP like Mac Cardona, Joseph Yeo, Ty Tang, JP Erram, Bacon Austria, Nico Salva, Alex Nuyles, Eric Camson, name it as long as it was from the UAAP batch of LA Tenorio, JV Casio, Chris Tiu, Arwind Santos, Jeff Chan, Jonas Villanueva, etc. 

I do enjoy watching basketball but I don't really cheer for a specific team when it comes to PBA but I do bet on a team when there is a game. Usually, it's always different because I like different players and sometimes the coaches or their assistant too! Haha because basically, they are somehow on the collegiate too! Hi to the Racela brothers, Coach Johnny A., Coach Chard and Coach Jason Webb, Coach Topex, Coach Luigi, Coach Ronnie, Coach Eric, Coach Leo, etc. Haha. And to the court side reporter, Ms. Erika Padilla, Apple David, Rizza Diaz, Nikko Ramos, Aaron Atayde, Sir Magoo, and to the daddy minion, Sir Mico Halili. Haha. 

Comment on the things I know about basketball and the side dishes? Hahaha. And if you watch different podcast or webisode of any talk about basketball, you will know more stuff other than just the game. 

Somtimes, try also to see the stat sheet too because it will take you to a different world from the court. Haha.

That NLEX vs Ginebra game was entertaining and it doesn't have a lot of action though a dunk is a dunk. Hehe. Don't make me mention the buzzer-beater of Mac Belo. ;)

I still prefer all Filipino Cup when it comes to PBA. 

I don't know if I make sense but thanks for reading. Haha

Comments? Violent reactions? Suggestions?

Lastly, my advice to every basketball fan; 

"the game is not yet over until you hear the final buzzer". 

Love, A

I wanted to stop but I know I have to move

I can't run to your arms

I can't talk

No words want to comes out

I want to but I'm already speechless

That stare has a lot to tell

They will never understand 

But we have an invisible connection

They can't see it but we both feel it

I considered that stare and that smile as a closure

I can't consider something more

I know I don't need to

I know that I shouldn't break the walls 

I'm trying my best not to

I'm trying my best to keep it to myself

I can't tell anyone

They will never understand

I want to talk to you

I want to ask some more questions

I can't 

I don't want to hurt anybody

I don't want to break the thing that makes you happy

I'll just wait here

Waiting for my turn to be genuinely happy

Waiting for my own story to tell someday

It still hurt but I handle it well before

I'll just sit here waiting

I know I should consider that as a closure to us

Because you're happy

I will just wait for my turn

8 years is just a dot from a million

I've been waiting for a bit long

Wishing it will be worthy to tell someday

I cry because it still crash me inside

You're happy

I should move on

But I always miss you

You know me

I don't need to pretend

I don't need to hide

You can see thru me

But you're happy

You don't need me anymore

I can't promise this will be the last

But I'll stay away

I will keep my distance

While I wait for my turn

XVII

_{I played my playlist "17" earlier.}

_{Then, I thought of you when I was outside but it didn't go further.}

_{Something inside me is so calm.}

_{Never knew this will be the day that I will see you again.}

_{It was suppose to happen.}

_{I looked on my left side the same time you looked up from checking your kid.}

_{We tried to say something like "hi" and "hello" but it didn't came out instead we just smile and nod at each other.}

_{Deep down we wanted to catch up on a lot of things but we stayed quiet.}

_{Feels like everything is in slow motion without any distraction.}

_{Until I keep walking away and I didn't look back but it wasn't that hard anymore because I know whatever happens, you are already a part of me.}

_03.02.15