Hair Dye-ary . Neon

Wow. I think it has been a year since my last Hair Dye-ary post ... I will not be lazy this year to update since I'm so done with dip dye.

I retouched my dip dye first week of February

For the last 3 1/2 years, my hair was never once again stayed black. It's like once you get color you will never go black again.

3 1/2 years, 3 years with dip dye that some called it ombre while the 1/2 year was with some side streaks. I'm always afraid to touch my roots because my hair might hate me but it might happen this year. Haha. And everyone is doing ombre/dip dye and I'm just done with it.

I let my hair grow even the faded color is not pleasing anymore I want it all gone when I had a haircut.

Looking at some of my pics, I'm sick on how my colors are not visible unless you will get a nice photo that sometimes it's hard because it's all at the end. Prior to haircut day, I still don't know what portion of my head to dye. I planned to have a short hair this time but not short enough to be a boy-cut.

I'm on a tight budget lately and as I'm waiting for Good Dye Young (it doesn't ship in the Philippines yet), I decided to just order bleaching kit from Funkystreak and while waiting for GDY, I think it was also the time to empty the jar that's been with me for the last 2 years which was Electric Banana and Electric Lizard.

Last year was all about green (Venus Envy) because of UAAP and so fortunate that we won the championship but unfortunately we weren't there to cheer live. There was still some Venus Envy left that I used on my nephew and now that's just another empty jar.

I emptied my jar of Venus Envy to Dewey 

Also this time, I used more bleach on him that's why his hair is lighter than the usual result that I get (somehow golden). I still don't want to use one kit in one bleaching session because I'm scared to overcooked it but I'm learning.

This portion that I did was very last minute decision. I had an almost plain black hair for a few hours after haircut but I feel incomplete that's why I realized that I didn't took any picture with it. As I was staring at the mirror, I remember the way that I cut my hair last year when you need to tie all of your hair in front of your forehead so you will get instant layers. That's what I did and I honestly don't have any idea on how it will look like after.

I used more bleach than usual and voila my outside portion now is lighter than before. My hair was lighter than golden and I was so close on over cooking it (glad it didn't happen). Haha I never thought that it will be a huge portion and the only color that can fill my bleached hair is my Electric Lizard.

I don't use it very often before because usually when I get golden hair Electric Lizard and Banana wasn't that visible but this time it was a success.

This is the closest thing that I can do on dyeing the outer/upper area of my head and I'm loving ever moment of it.

No one saw my hair until the next day and I know it will catch attention and I was smiling huge when I went downstairs because my mom might freak out but I'm so surprised that she wasn't. Haha

It was so new to me and of course, I get stares that sometimes I can't help but smile and laugh a little. Haha. People around shouldn't be so surprised if I did a lot more portion next time and of course with different bright color I hate dark colors it's not visible at night.

It faded so fast that my neon hair just lasted for a week :( 

"You may call me crazy, but that's alright with me" - Playing with Fire | FTSK

On Repeat . Tough Love

Tough Love by Forever The Sickest Kids

It's been three days, since you called me.
I don't really know how much more this, I can take.
(I can't take no more!)
It's me, (Oh no!) 
That's pathetic -
Checking my phone every single second...
To see if you've been calling,
To see if you still want me.
(It never came.)

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She kept my head in the clouds.

So what do you gotta say, for yourself
That I haven't heard from somebody else?
Don't try to impress me with make - believe stories;
Darlin', please spare me, I'm already hurting.

And hey! (Hey!)
On the drive home,
I heard our song on the radio.
It didn't really burn, at first;
But it came hard when the chorus hit the second verse.
(Like a train.)

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.

Love, it hurts, way too much.
Love, it hurts, way too much.

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but....
She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She kept my head in the clouds.

Thursday

As much as we are aware, we believe that we haven't seen each other but we do hangout at the same area. We have been at the same area and on the same time but we haven't crossed paths, I believe we haven't. 

We do have similarities but we are also opposite to each other. One is extrovert and the other is an introvert, opposite but some of our beliefs and favorites collide. 

A very strong similarity that we have is we are both independent. We are both independent that we are somehow unfamiliar when someone is being concern to each other. Also the reason why we are both having doubts on taking risk. 

Taking risk is scary, it always has been but if one of us will slow down should the other one wait or go? 

I have so many doubts and one of my top concern is my trust/attachment issue that I have to deal with at the first place. I took my only shot as I gamble with the situation I never thought coming. 

Hearing your voice everyday and believing on everything that you said, I get too attached easily. Sometimes I doubt it because not everyone can say those things without a hitch but you can, so I end up believing. It will be too unfair if I will let myself think that all of it was a lie because your sincerity is too much. 

I love when you will say that we will just talk for the rest of the night. Your stories are unforgettable as I am amazed and most of the time I end up laughing. The sweetest statements that you will drop out of nowhere that makes my heart skip a bit. You proved me something beyond my knowledge that sets higher standards for other people. 

One weekend you said something to me that made me realize that it's not just me who have issues. I realized that this is not a one way road (it's not just about me), this is a two way road that both of us should make everything work. Taking risk. 

One day, I started to love the weekdays and hated the weekends. I started to question myself if I made the right decision but just when I'm going to start making crazy scenario in my head you will call and everything will be okay. 

I accept the challenge and welcome this new things that are happening right before my eyes. I made sure to savor every moment as I'm very well aware that without the assurance that I need even with your sweetest words, this will not last the way I wanted it to happen. This is reality and it's not a fairytale neither a well written novel. 

We slow things down, we stopped talking for a while. I'm confused on where is this going. Are we still on the same page or not anymore? Is it okay to assume things now? Is it time to let go? Maybe. 

I never regret my decision to gamble because you made me so happy, you gave me another reason to smile and to continue to deal with the shitty world that we're living in. I have another reason to wake up in the morning and make a peaceful sleep at night. 

There's no consistency in this world, I'm happy I didn't take any of those days for granted. It's been a while since your last call but your stories and sweetest statement are still echoing in my head. 

I believe it's not yet over. The right time for everything will happen when it is suppose to happen. Hopefully we will let our personal walls collapsed by then but if not, thank you. Beyond everything I want you to know that you made me genuinely happy and I'm very thankful for that. 

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream - The Only Exception | Paramore


03.09.2016

Saturday

I'm counting down the days

In two days it will be a month 

I keep myself busy just like the other days

Even it's a Saturday 

It's weekend I know you were out 

Just like the usual

It's hard to compete with weekend 

It is your safety days

I will not deny I was waiting 

For the past four weeks I still wait

Waiting for a certain song to play

Waiting to see your name calling again 

My phone is at my back pocket 

As I keep myself busy 

As a certain song began to play

In a moment it felt like the world stopped

Your name is on the screen of my phone

An owl is asking me to answer it

I almost drop it before answering 

Then I said "hello..." 

I was shaking

I was nervous 

I wasn't dreaming 

I am talking to you again 

04.04.16

Stolen

I never thought it will happen

That one day one person will take the spotlight

I thought I will be forever trapped

I have been for the last 11 years

Maybe the last 5 years was just pretentious

'Coz I never wanted to hurt anybody unintentionally

No pretending when I said I missed the friendship

'Coz you understand and you know me without filters

Someone topped that by being too honest

Being too consistent with his action 

Being too real for who he is

He was too transparent

I was too hesitant at first but I gave in

I fall too fast to a new rabbit hole

I don't even know how to get back up

I'll probably stay for a while

It's amazing how all of it happened so fast

Fast enough that it was also gone in a day

Nevertheless in a short time

That someone stole the limelight

03.28.16

Crossroad

You started calling

I answered that first call

You called everyday

I get used to your unannounced calls

You never text because you always call

I can count how many times you texted me

You wake me up every morning

I talk to you until you fall asleep

You cared and that's something new to me

I cared for you but it's so bizarre to you

You stopped calling

I started to wonder

You probably forget me

I started missing you

You're doing fine

I'll be alright

03.15.16

Random . March 2016

When a current episode is giving you all the advices that you need. - Girls S05E02

And I just deleted it. Hello new month! #21

Thinking of what should be the next color of my hair.

Not planned coffee/tea date with aunt and cousin. :)

So tempted to do a call but if I know that it will not be answered and I will not have a bawi night then I think it's better not to call.

Thinking of possible next tattoo is keeping me sane for the past few days. Can't wait.

I can't like your post anymore because I think I'm being a creepy person already but I read them and still !!!! #06

Now I'm the one who need to do a major catch up.

The damages are too much.

A real 64GB.

There's no question for me how powerful love is but the story I just heard on the radio is so insanely beautiful and sad. (The guy really love the girl so much but even after 6 years he doesn't know if the girl love him dearly. He still believe though, so he is not giving up anytime soon he will just hold on forever).

Some people can't see that they've been taking some people for granted. Take a break from everything just spend some quality time with friends and most especially to your family (don't mind the money and time that you will be spending for the travel). Hate/anger is taking it away from you, break those walls, eat your pride don't let this time passed because you will never be aware how time flies. (love listening to other people's stories ever since most especially if it's from this radio station. Reminds me why I did listen to their programs during my break time in college).

Should I say sorry because it feels like I pushed you away? I want to but seems like I don't need to. 0304 #21

The writings of Regina Belmonte on her blog lately is a must read. Love every post and I can relate 80% of the time.

H, I know what your reason today. I'm missing the other reason you have before too.

Yikes! I've seen this before in my head but it's just happening now. I know I'm not distracting anyone at this side of the house. Time to blast more on repeat songs. Haha

The weather in this country is really a bummer. I hate that it's being too hot already. Oh well, summer is coming.

It's been a while since I watched a basketball on a Sunday. Congrats, Star!

Being too independent have its own disadvantages.

I posted a specific post about changing a month ago and I tell you again, if in your eyes people doesn't change believe me when I say they really do. The reason behind that post proved that to me.

Just one of those days. #mantra

Lesson learned. 32 / 64

Just passed a v-shop... Why are you everywhere

When I'm just all alone with too much people around, realizations are too much it's either scary or happy times.

It's amazing how I'm reading the same things that I'm being curious/thinking for the past few days from people I do follow online. Open minded people is a must in this world.

I'm just too jealous for everyone that's aboard and enjoying a lot of activities and show at Parahoy but I'm so happy for everyone too.

I'm so stoked for a lot of things this year. Saving up is a must to make all of it happen.

Am I analyzing too much or I'm just assuming things?

Cry baby. I miss you daddy.

Paramore is home to me.

I started typing something and I don't know when will I publish it but I know I will, just not now.

I'm coping by the only way I know how.

I'm being amazed on how all of this words are getting in my head right now. 0309

My mind is so off today. It probably got drained from yesterday's writing. Haha

Few new rules to follow that is not written anywhere just for myself.

Glasses all week.

Stop Aiv, it will never happen.

Cubao today because I need to get out of this town.

That was a smooth jeeptrip.

I really want to get out today because I think I'm suffering a writers block and I need some inspiration.

Docs plus pants. I really don't like that because it's not comfortable. But at some point I did that once and maybe never will do it again.

We watch/observe other people for us to forget ourself and our own issues.

People come and go that's not new. They also have different directions that they want to go to. Some will just passed but we don't need to stop because life goes on.

For all the time that I need to go home, last night was the ONLY day that feels like I left something. It was early than usual but it was really hard, he might have been there. (same area but never crossed paths). 03.12.16

Different lines/words from songs that I do listen now from the early days of Paramore until to the latest top 21 songs are hitting me hard. It's either making me realize things or inspire me to write another long post.

Did you just encourage everyone to leave this country behind?

I don't want to entertain all of this ideas in my head right now. Just not now because ideas/words/feelings overload.

If I will combine all of the song lyrics that I sing out loud because of how you made me feel it will be so cluttered and fucked up.

I know H, I miss him too.

I love busy days but sometimes it's too much craziness.

When will they realize that I will do whatever I needed to do no matter what day it is? They haven't seen it before? Haha. See the picture, it's not too big but it's the small things that make the big ones.

I need some of these words off in my head right now.

Never thought that it's already mid-March and I just realized that it's also been a month since the last long conversation. #21

This tattoo ideas are keeping me sane and making me so excited. Though I will surely break one of my personal rules but YAY!

I can't believe I haven't put a certain song on "On Repeat" post like Swim in Silence, Sunday Bloody Sunday and a lot more. Oh well, you will never know everything I listen to but there's a glimpse on my other Tumblr of who are my favorites.

This topic that I'm composing is either a good one or just a mess. / I'm done with it now, I'm hungry. Lol.

Wrong information!!! Excitement over everything. Haha

I don't know until when I need to wear glasses. Huhuhu.

Each song that I've been listening lately is reminding me a lot of things.

Stoked to see the chikababes later and hopefully the bro too. / No bro but the chikababes are complete! :)

Oh hello there old friend, Thursday. 0317

I was really drained after busy days and 2 long posts this week. I still have something in my head but I'm still trying to arrange it. 0318

2 weeks now and soon it will be 3rd then 4th then months and I will never notice it eventually. #21 031816

I have a question in my head but I think I already know the answer to that even it doesn't favor on my side.

NCIS taught me the value of family and friends. That's the reason why I love this show and why this will always be my favorite. (300 episode)

Some people are selfish. They will never see others just themselves.

Appreciate the little things. Always.

I can be bitter if I want to but the memory doesn't give justice to that.

Now I hate the weekends. Haha. My mind is so off today.

People, they're fast if they need something from you but then when you need them you can't find them. Tsk. 0320

No Internet so I think my cluttered thoughts will be fix now. We'll see. Haha

I'm so overwhelmed I may cry. These words that I'm typing are out of nowhere. 0321

Sometimes I just let the words play in my head instead of getting it all out because this feelings that you're giving me is too much to handle. Well, everything is just playing between I like to talk to you again and I miss you. #21

I want to stay in dreamland even it was literally the opposite of fairytale because you were there. The battle we fought in dreamland is over, maybe that's also the sign for reality being over. 0321

Should I put another song of CHVRCHES as an "on repeat" post? Lately it's always been CHVRCHES, Paramore and FTSK. Its been on my Playlist for the last 3 months now.

Yes I know you are asking for it and I'm not holding that from you but that message that you sent was something offensive. Tsss. This kind of act really changes my outlook to people. Good thing I got a lot of patience in my pocket and I'm still trying to be nice to people. So annoying.

There are things that I know but I believe it's not my story to tell.

Current situation make me think of you less but when it's alone time all I can think is you. 0324

Certain days, I convinced myself not to do the first move but sometimes I really want to text you.

I'm embracing these days that I'm wearing glasses again but I think I need a new one.

I somehow not entertaining some of my ideas in my head because it's just all about you and it seems redundant already.

Trying not to think too much since I'm having a headache.

Listening to Best Coast makes me realize things and make me appreciate myself more.

Another tattoo idea is added to my tattoo list.

That past few months was so fucked up, the result is so annoying.

This late night writings is making me tear up again. I'm amazed on where all of these words are coming from as always. Someone took out the writer in me. 0328

After blocking the idea of writing, now I can't stop. Making me happy at some point and I know it's super weird. Haha

From a FTSK track to another when my 3,000+ songs are on shuffle is not a joke, I got distracted from writing. 0328

I may judging and analyzing too much but it makes a lot of sense. This is a good start on this hopefully not super long process. #21

Surprisingly, I'm getting answers too fast even it's a tiny hint.

"It will never happen" is negativity but there are really things/situation that we want to happen but it will never be.

Wow. You have no right on saying such things because literally and figuratively, you don't have a single fucking idea about me or the things I do. What you see is not always what you get. 

Same artists, new playlist. 

It Will Never Happen

I've been telling that to myself ever since January and the last time Gem and I hangout she mentioned that out loud and I laughed. So funny that in the middle of our walk (on our way home) I almost freak out and I told her that it's the exact words that I've been telling myself lately we almost stopped in the middle of a busy street. 

There are certain situations in our life that we wanted something specific to happen or at least a different outcome on things but (fuck but) of course, this is REALITY. Reality where there's no fairytale and we will never know what will happen next. 

If only all of the things we wanted will be done by ourselves there will be a minimal problem but if it involves another person or depends on time and on certain situations, we all need to wait for the right time and we need tons of patience. 

It's not easy, results doesn't usually happen overnight it can take days/weeks/months and even years. All we can do is sit tight, hold on and continue our daily lives even we can't see results yet. 

If only we can write whatever we want to happen, it will be so perfect and it will also be a perfectly messed up fairytale. 

Gem and I are living differently, we do have different choices and decisions but we do undergo on the same serious stuff lately that we want to entertain at least, but it also depends on other people and situations. As much as we want some new things in our life the universe is telling us different. 

It will never happen

Maybe at some point it can but what if our decision contradict the situation, will it be our fault? 

Reality is unfair sometimes but maybe if we wait patiently the result can or not be on our side. Who knows. We are still living this life. There are things/situations in our life that we wish can turned out differently but we don't have a rewind button in life. It's okay to regret things but learn from it. The only thing that we can do is continue living because life goes on. Time and day will not wait for us, they will literally leave us if we decided to stop or take a break. 

So whether the things we want will happen or not, continue living the life at least you will not regret living. Eventually, the result will happen in this lifetime so all we need is live patiently, accept the highs and the lows, it's part of it. 

Sad things happen to all of us. - Eve | How To Get Away With Murder S02E14

03.15.16