Random . December 2017

Hello favorite month! It's not going to be easy I hope I will not hate you. 

What a way to start my favorite month. 

Another one. It's so frustrating. 

Thank you dad's friends I wish my dad was able to reminisce with all of you. 

Some people doesn't really know how to be sneaky. 

Why do you have to be so shady. 

I'll get to see college friends in 10 days! :D

If you are a close friend, you know that we shouldn't talk on comment section most especially if it's something personal. You know how to contact me why you make it look like you don't know. 

This is a place where patience is tested. 

Another place where my personal patience is being tested. I just have to whisper, f. 

I'm waiting for you to argue with me but why are you choosing not to? Distance is nothing on this high tech Era. 

Left for a quick me-time in the city. 

I was able to squeeze a work while on the road! Yay. So proud. 

Last minute shopping, success. 

I knew it will not rain. Why did I still brought my umbrella. Lol

Thanks home court, I'll see you again soon.  

Let it be a distraction in my head. 

It's just too frustrating when it's already obvious but still you chose to not understand. 

You're definitely one of them. Lol 

Poor kid. 

Recalling all of it makes me cringe and it's becoming another batch of nightmare. 

Thank you home court for the comfort despite of me being stressed with my work load baggage. 

Huhu. I can see signs that I'm about to break soon. it's just too much lately. 

Yeah I know, I don't want to complain but it's pretty draining. 

Unfortunately, everything is still not enough. 

Catching up with some college friends that I haven't seen since 2010 / 2011. 

Such a blast out of town weekend trip with college friends. 

Frustration to the highest level. 

Still surviving even there are times that I'm about to break. 

Test of patience and I'm about to burst. 

You don't have any idea what I can do from midnight to 4am. 

You think you can stop me? Of course, not. 

Merry Christmas. 

It's just the 26th and f I'm starting to get emotional. 

I think I should go offline until after the 27th. 

I want to write something but dang, emotionally shit at the moment. Too fragile. Haha. Happy birthday, self! I'm so proud of how we survived 2017. 

Thank you, M.  

I was able to survive today after all the tasks. 

Lol. I was busy af that I wasn't able to get online and thank everyone who greeted me so I just liked all of the greeting. Hahaha but I appreciate it, thank you. :D

Fam bam.  

I may not be able to sum up this year in one post since I don't have time for it already but thank you for another set of roller-coaster ride in life 2017. 

Thankful for everything. 

Hello ‎2018!

Random . November 2017

Opportunity to write. Let's do this. / fail. Lol

There's too much drama with my friends lately. 

Finally I was able to finish Stranger Things 2.

Don't hate what you don't understand. 

Watching UAAP from home and I realized I'm missing home court so much. 

Geez. I miss watching live basketball. 

You will never know how it works if you're just watching. 

Good job, self. 

Finally. Going out of this town for me-time. It's been super duper over due. 

When hometown really doesn't feel like home anymore. 

In tears while leaving the city. 

Is changing a choice? If yes, I think you can change without leaving people behind why not bring them with you on your journey of changing for the better. 

Everything will be okay, self. First things first. 

As if you ride the mrt. 

At least take good care not feed bullshit. 

I don't want to deal with people today. Can y'all back off for today? 

I like long route. 

I'm trying not to stress with everything but here you are putting more pressure. 

Missing a lot of things but I'm not the complaining type. 

Geez. Just f admit everything. 

You don't need to detached from the past just to look for yourself. 

I have free time to write but my thoughts are so cluttered, I don't know where to start. / will not force myself to write with just this free time that I have. I'll just fix my Tumblr. 

You don't have any idea on how long I can seat here and just wait for my turn. #chronicletrip

4 hours of waiting somehow gone into waste but such down time is okay despite of it all. 

Let's go back to reality. 

When you want to ask questions but seems inappropriate. 

When hometown being busy today, I like it. 

I don't complain but doesn't mean I don't cry. 

I want to chase my dad in dreamland. 

Luna. #21

It's already too much. Just please leave me alone. 

Staying offline because tons of things to do so little time. 

Let's face this stressful day. 

When the universe is reminding me to chill. 

Podcast for a change. 

My brain is shifting so fast. 

Sometimes it's  funny but mostly annoying when they don't know shit. 

Random . October 2017

Sometimes you really gotta let go of some. 

Wasn't able to get out this weekend maybe staying in will be inspiring too. 

When you plan to be productive but the universe wants you to just chill. 

Superhuman starts now. 

Aaarrggh I know dreams are always the opposite. So close yet super far. #mantra 

Mentally drained. 

When you need to be a team by yourself. 

It was scary to hear it but it's scarier now that its closer. 

Sometimes I still wonder why people love to browse Facebook from time to time. 

You gotta know what love is before asking for it. 

Sometimes you just have to trust the process and stop accusing. 

I can't believe that your trust issues are bigger than mine. 

If waiting in line will be my excuse to rest my brain, I'll take it. 

It's better to be mentally drained after a productive day than being drain from all the bad vibes. 

Mentally and physically drained. Can it just be one? I can't handle both. 

Tears from being so f tired. 

Hehe. Your point of view doesn't fit in there. You're such a huge fan of fantasy. 

You have to reconsider a lot of things. It's not always about what we see on movies. 

Overwhelmed with everything. 

When people still say stuff but they don't know the real deal and how you handle things. 

So busy that I don't have time to write that I rather use free time to rest my brain. 

I want to say you're just a misguided ghost but I think you are completely useless at this point. 

Losing my coolness. 

Respect. 

Don't use your personal issue against specific people. 

Once again drained and tomorrow is another day. 

Walking unorganized in a grocery store is a proof that I'm so unorganized these days. 

You can't dictate the people who to trust. 

I know you will never understand how you form a traumatic experience with other people. I wonder how you can all sleep with every inch of hatred in your body. 

As much as I like to do it on my own, sometimes the demand of people are too much. 

No matter how many times you asked for it; how much time you spend looking for it; how loud you shouted about it, you will never find love if you are full of hatred. 

I don't want to deal with people already. 

Please understand me being me because of unending to-do list. 

Tears are so close but I won't give up. 

Thankful for busy days and the responsibilities because I chose to put my energy on the important things than to deal with your nonsense shit. 

12mn. I think it's time to stop now and leave all these for tomorrow. 

Even with busy days, I recommend to chill for a day. Give yourself and your brain a break from everything. :)

Two weeks of being a super human. 

Sacrifices. Lessons. 

When you wanted to give up but you can't. 

I want to apologize for all his bad things to those people but I'm just no one so who the f cares. 

I want to protect all of you, fam. 

I miss when my brain do the talking. 

I really don't know how to comfort people. I'm just a listener not a good talker. 

When people choose to support a wrongdoing because it comes with power and they're still happy because people suffer. 

Dreamed of another out of the country trip. Now I'm badly craving for one. 

That's it. I'm done explaining social media on my blog. 

All of the things that I've written before is very useful at the moment. 

I want to write. 

I don't care on what the content is. 

I cried not because of that it's because I'm missing my father. Just one of those night. 

This is why I don't want to go out. I don't want the sympathy. 

Sht. This game is so close! Can I run to Araneta? Lol

Can I get a tattoo today. Craving for a pain. 

Oh go ahead. Stalk more. 

Half of me wants to get out today but I think I'll rather catch up on my TV series. 

Here we go. Going back to step 1 of recovering. 

Cyberbullying. At its finest. 

When you see Coach Nash on the TV. Ehehehe. 

I want to write it all but I don't need to. 

I can't believe people tolerate this kind of action and they will say it's the right thing to do. 

Thank you, YouTube for the impromptu therapy. 

For now, I rather catch up on my TV series than write. 

Is it easier to survive in a zombie apocalypse than this reality? 

Even there are things that you want to stop believing, there will still be tiny bits that will remind you not to stop. 

One of these days, even breathing will be criticized. 

If your trust issue is bigger than mine then we got a huge problem. 

If you can't appreciate just don't say anything. 

I want to write but I'm avoiding it. 

Missing the sky, clouds and the open sea. 

This "Nineteen" version of Hayley Williams. Wow‎

The most challenging month this year. 

UAAP Season 80

It's going to be a month since the opening day this weekend and why is this season phasing so fast? 

Well this is the season where our plans will happen like lessen the live action, been saying that for 3 years now. Why? beacause, reality and adulting. lol 

I still make time for it since it is an escape for me and I miss cheering and everything a live basketball can offer. UAAP will always be special.

We don't have game on opening day but my mom wanted to watch since my sister and my cousin will be part of the opening ceremony and our tv is busted. lol 

I say okay but I have to watch the 2 games after the opening since I don't really know what to expect on the teams since most of the star players have graduated already and some new coaches but there are teams like ADMU and DLSU that still have a strong line up. You will never know what to expect this season. 

Lets talk about the opening ... 

My contact lens are a bit lower now than my real eye grade and I have astigmatism so I can't really see v clear. (trust me it matters on my story. lol)

I was able to sneak in my DSLR and my zoom lens since I want to shoot my sister but apparently I the lights are a bit busted and we don't have any idea on what part they are in.

It was a very good idea and theme for this season 2 videos on top is the documentary and the opening ceremony. 

Upon the entrance of each school, I was a bit confused if I'm really seeing Alyssa Valdez since I know that she already graduated until I used my camera and confirm, it was her. I was so slow that I didn't realize that some of the alumni are part of it. FEU was the last to be introduced with special entrance since, host school! And then ... TERRENCE ROMEO WAS THERE together with RR Garcia, Mac Belo, Rachel Anne Daquis (which I never noticed since I saw TR!) I never knew since my sister and cousin didn't inform me because they were told about it. I was surprised because for all the alumni, he make time for it as in him in the flesh!!!! LOL

The opening was amazing not being biased since I'm a Tamaraw. 

UAAP S80: Go For Great

Random . September 2017

Morning call. Then 10 minutes hours later. :) 

Letting go of some clothes. It's no big deal but it feels good. 

How can you explain to other people the capacity of your brain? 

Stressed and insomnia. A very bad combination. 

I hate that part of life. Why do I need to deal with it. -_- 

I want to write something but again it's full of hatred and anger that's why I rather not start anything. 

I definitely know how it feels. 

Breaking down realizing how it all affect me so much. :( 

It's not about how or why you said it anymore, it's more on how it is already in my system. 

It's heart wrenching every single time. 

UAAP S80!!! Such a great opening and I'm so surprised to see TR again. :) 

This is why I'm avoiding to write. 

Lately has just been so stressful. 

Much needed rest. 

Bed weather but too much to do. 

I really need an order name. Where I can use when restaurants are asking for names. I think I can us AV or AE. Lol

The guy sent a picture of his baked cookies and I'm now craving for some cookies. And I also want to bake again but I'm saving energy for work life.

Super tired. 

I don't complain much because I know there's a perfect timing for everything. 

When a stunning sunset photo is waiting to be seen on my inbox. 

Music doesn't make me stop thinking about it. #mantra

I really miss Coach Nash. :( I don't get the strategy of Coach Olsen. 

Always being my happy pill. Hahaha. 

When your number one reference is Facebook. Who's online 24/7? 

Bitter than I am? People, if you just watch basketball as a past time, don't make a big deal out of it. You don't know everything. 

Chucks. :( 

Are you sure? 

You have to consider a lot of things. 

Oh what's the point of ranting very specific on social media? 

People who complain too much while waiting in line. Tsss

Writers block. 

If you can't wait, leave. 

A question that I think you should ask yourself first. 

Writing from scratch! 

I have this idea in my head but it's hard to construct. 

I want to write but it's making me confused. 

To be able to catch up on my TV shows is already a productivity for me.

Hehe. No way.  

You should not slap that on their face every single time. 

It's funny how stranger cares than you are. 

I want to write something but I can't think of any topic right now. Hehe 

When people talk too loud on their phone in public. Tsss

m a n t r a . . . .

Random . August 2017

A post shared by Aivrin Villamayor (@aeivryn) on Aug 12, 2017 at 6:12pm PDT

Yay for old school kind of music. Good to hear your voice and to know you feel better now. :)

Sometimes you gotta mess things up. 

As much as I want to stay in bed, I need to do some early errands. 

Same people on a specific day every week, you better be good in changing the process. Tsss. 

I was so close on having a bad morning but then Hayley Williams of Paramore is singing "Fake Happy"! I mean I'm hearing this song so random on the most unexpected place and it makes me smile. Thank you to the person who played it. :)

Why everyone is on hype today even the weather is like this? I underestimate the situation. Lol. 

I've been planning to write some of my letters and I'm finally going to start. :) 

Feels good to be able to be lost while writing. 

Palacetamol. Hahaha. 

omg. All the LANY post is making me hyper. See you guys on Sunday.  

Why are you in it? I'm starting to miss you. #17

I'm a part time geek but I make sure I will not be geeky in public. Lol. Apparently some people don't hide it in public. 

Wear something comfortable and a commuter friendly. Lol. I can't imagine commuting on a very uncomfortable clothes. Also, respect your co-commuter. 

So nostalgic being back in Morayta after a long time. 

Megamall. Morayta. Cubao. I love today. 0805

Sharing with a specific group is okay but when all of you is lacking of emotions and act like there's nothing serious was shared, you guys should think twice. / I take sharing so seriously. 

Dealing with adults are stressful. 

LANY.  0806 

Priceless. Lol. 

Same thoughts and I'm not sure if I said it out loud while I was alone or to someone during conversation, wrote it on a blog post or it just hit me once again. 

Well. People should really think. 

I rather be attending Gritty. 

To the only person who understand even without saying anything, I miss you so bad. :( 

Staring contest. :) 

Adults being kids. 

Fragile day. I miss you. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Let's do this. 

Some people just don't get the cycle. If you try to explain they don't get it either. 

Haaay. 

Hearing ILYSB out of nowhere and no one freaks out made me realize that I'm lucky to see them live last week. :)

One of those days that I choose to deal with papers. 

Stress eating. 

You will always be a parent but don't let them continue the wrong doings. 

Please. Mind your own. Tss. 

Such a busy week. Not complaining. 

I do watch last full show alone and today's a first in hometown. Thankful that cinema is just around the corner.

Whoa. Did he just called me .... ? 

Was that you or just your doppelganger? Hahaha. #17

Decided to have the first me-time on home court and I was fine. 

Why the fuck I'm nervous. 

Hmmm. Mantra. 

Feels so good to be walking in the rain while thinking. 

Why there's an empty space tonight. :(

Trying to write about it but it's just too much. / I started it but I just decided I will not continue. 

I'm not updated on basketball much lately but I pretty much still know the drill. 

Why do you need to announce everything in detail. 

Sick of people who says a lot but clearly they don't have any idea. 

All Time Low.  

Hay naku. 

Sometimes it's nice to be in a crowd when you don't know anyone and you don't need to talk. You just wait. 

You gotta know who what and where to believe in. 

Did some clean up today. 

Must need off days. Need to miss each other. 

That's the only thing you know. You don't know what comes after those hours. 

It scares me that I can stay in my room now without music even just for a few minutes. I even clean up my room without music. 

Some people might think it's easy to pretend that nothing happened. Not me, it takes a lot of courage to face a new day like yesterday didn't happen and don't make me play pretend. 

Thankful that even I'm always a crybaby, I do end the day with a realization on a good note not with a heavy heart and anger. 

Craving for another vacation, a beautiful beach, endless skyline and a breathtaking sunset. Oh and fluffy clouds. :)

Don't just pretend going on a "vacation". Do it in a proper way. Oooppss. I guess you're not that type, you just want to stress yourself more. 

Dear self, I'm proud of you. 

My tears will never be counted as your victory but it will add up more to the hatred that you got. 

Quick trip before headphone hours. 

To dye or not this weekend? 

Headache probably from me being a cry baby, lack of sleep or my eye grade adjusted again. 

After playing a whole album, I'm jumping to another album. 

Well, I guess some things are better left  ‎

UAAP next weekend!!!!!!! 

La Union 2017

Despite of the unfortunate event we both experienced during our recent trip, I still love traveling with you even it means panic buying of skyflakes and on who will get the window seat. Hahaha Thanks for planning it last minute! Lets go back soon since we still need to try a lot of food and halo-halo!!!!!! Ps. You make me hate pakbet. 😂

A post shared by Aivrin Villamayor (@aeivryn) on May 30, 2017 at 6:07pm PDT

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3

Probably the shortest video trip ever. 

After making the Singapore and Kuala Lumpur video that was close to 20 minutes, I told myself that I will try to summarize it more like what I usually see on YouTube. I want to accomplish something shorter but not lacking which is very impossible since I want to share more. 

It's really hard to commit on taking videos than pictures when you also want to enjoy the trip or just be as lazy as we were when on vacation. Everything might be worth it to be documented but not everything is shareable worldwide most especially if everyone will totally not get the humor. 

It took me almost 2 months finishing this up but it also end up being a short one. I got lots of footage from my GoPro but our craziness is not worth sharing. Lol

I think it took me months to do this because it didn't end well. Yes, our trip didn't end on a very high note to the point that Gem don't want to give La Union another try. Same as my blog post they are on drafts for so long now that I just decided to finally fix it and publish just this month.

I also want to do more for this video so it's a bit disappointing on my part on not documenting worthy stuff. I just realized too that I don't have video when we were in Bahay na Bato! Makes me want to travel again and do well on documentation most especially that I've been watching vlogs. It also makes me crave for a new point and shoot! it's a bit bad right? Hahaha. 'Coz I can't steady my GoPro everytime maybe I need a better tripod or grip? Idk. 

Though I want it to be different, I use "Hard Times" since that was the song that I was listening that time, it's stuck in my head and I can just dance and cry while on this trip and even after (After Laughter). Lol

Despite of the rants and disappointments can I just say that I love the part where I was able to just put up my GoPro and just capture the beach and us in it. I love that so much but that's the only sunset we experienced in La Union. Haha I hate that sun is always hiding when I go on vacation. I've been looking forward to sunset photos!

This really makes me crave more traveling and hopefully do better on documentation. 

My photos are already on queue too on my Tumblr until maybe end of the year. Haha. Too much photos! That's when I really get high, photos over videos everytime since I think it's more challenging though the hype on each is different and I enjoy both. 

Hopefully next travel video will be better and less disappointment that will not reach 2 months in the making. See even this post, excitement is missing but I'm willing to give La Union another try. :)

My Photographs: La Union