Random . June 2015

I know better and you should too. Unless your being self-centered. 

Why do I think of converting my iPad mini with an iPhone 6 plus? Hmm. 

I'll stop that now. #29 

New tats doesn't need to be introduced personally. Its normal to add if you are already inked and please don't be surprised. I still have list of tattoos because I have a goal of reaching double digits. Haha yep, I'm not stopping anytime soon. ;)

That was a huge sign and a ginormous wake up call. 

Only one person will benefit, the rest will suffer. And the "one" will just laugh at all of us who suffer. 

When I just want to smash everything around, my friends are there to make me laugh so hard.

Information overload. Overthinking things. Possible things to happen. 

I already felt this 2 years ago but this time, its stronger. 

I don't want to cry again while doing it. Better know who are the important one. 

If only I can avoid people for the rest of the week or for the rest of the year. I just want to be on the beach or somewhere cold. 

Oh shit. My dad was on my dream earlier. I almost forgot. That hug. :( - 06.03.15

I'm back on not looking forward to another day. I need a break. 

If they can do that, it can cover the previous Parahoy as well as the next one and pretty sure one or two shows of the Writing the Future and the ticket from here to there.

Wow. Someone didn't notice my bitchy side. There's always a first to everything. Haha

This is war, Becca. #PitchPerfect

Pitch Perfect 2 was fine. I liked the first one than this. 

Shopping from the states. Oh yeah. Haha. 

I retouched my hair the other day. Hopefully, I can do dip dye blonde by end of July. 

I can't wait for summer to be over. Rainy days, I miss you. 

Why do I get too emotional when I see Terrence Bill play on the PBA. #foreverfan 

This Manila Clasico is EPIC. 

He doesn't care so much but he's there. I just don't know who he is. #dream 

Why am I so affected with that dream? Maybe because I don't know who he is? Geez. 

Observing people from a far is not your forte. 

The more you make it connect it just disconnects even more. 

Ask yourself why and don't throw away all the information. 

Dear self, I told you to get over with it. It will never happen. Oh wait I'm starving. Lol

Only Molly McAdams can make me read a book ASAP. (I said this before and will never get tired of saying it.)

I want to try not to sleep for 24 hours but I don't want to go ballistic throughout the day. 

What fuck was that? You don't know how to text?

That's the reason why this and that. But knowing you, you will just blame others. 

Dang. That's the reason why I was thinking about it. Hahaha. Fuckers. 

Let's not go beyond my worst-case-scenarios because I don't have a budget for the 6th one. Let's keep it cool. 

On the line. Waiting game are not my thing but I do enjoy it somehow. 

Abomination is my new favorite word. Helena said that and somehow used on OITNB a lot.

Dude the chair is not that stable. Don't move! 

The not so good on waiting is that I'm thinking of another small tattoo. Haha

1/8 done for today. Good thing tomorrow is another day. 

Some of your plans did not happen. Shoot now! 

I never knew that I will ever think of getting a backpack again. I'm so done with it 9 years ago but somehow, I figured I need at least 1 medium size and 1 huge for backpacking purposes. I have a target. Hehe. 

Looks like everyone are leaving the city for this long weekend. 

It was nice to spend time with family. Nothing can replace that.

Jurassic World is the kind of movie that I'm willing to pay for just to watch it on the big screen. It was amazing as well as the characters. I freaked out a bit when I saw Nick and Fisher because I see them regularly on series. Fan girl. 

OITNB season 3 is here!!!

I'll rather step back than fighting a battle where my opponent is so close minded. I'm so done with close minded people. 

Season finale of Orphan Black next week and I don't know what to feel. Gifs are saving me from separation anxiety most especially the Helena gifs. :D 

I saw you today and I never saw it coming. I'm so done and I'm happy about it. 06.18.15 #17

Instead of stalking people why not just search for something nice and inspirational. Something different. 

I'm already done with season 3 of OITNB. What to do now? Oh season 3 finale of Orphan Black later! 

That wasn't that bad! I love the season finale of OITNB and Orphan Black. Happy tears this time but thinking that it will be continued next year was not good. 

The bad thing after watching Fifty Shades of Grey and then reading Grey was I'm seeing Jamie and Dakota as Christian and Ana. It wasn't my vision when I read it 3 years ago. I'm still searching their face on my head. And the order of events are confusing too!

“Sometimes it’s just fucking great to be me.” - Grey

The last thing you will ever wanted is go mess with me. Don't make me transform to Helena because I will also get refund and put a screw driver on your biceps. 

I need my clones. 

2.4 GB is the availability space on my iPad. Unbelievable. 

Believe whatever you want to believe. 

That's what I'm holding on and I know that's a huge thing. Imagine without it but I know you're not thinking about it. 

Think about it because I believe you don't have any idea on what's going on. Twisted stories. 

THAT CORNER THREE FROM JAPETH. WOW. 

PBA soon? Fingers crossed. 

"Holy doodle here we go" - Allison #OrphanBlack 

I just keeping walking away from you but you keep saying things about a letter. Then I woke up. 06.26.15 #17

I really want to watch the games later but I can't leave early. Priorities. 

I have a new video project from our EK trip and I don't know where to split some videos. 

1 or 2 threads. 

Twisted Stories. 

So sad to see the other side of this place being demolished. 

Imagine if I'm just going to stare at the computer. 

Uhm should I still hold on to it or not? Looks like I'm the only one who was left. 

Oh the superhero is here again. 

The advantage and disadvantage of things. 

Before I really don't like the idea about it but now, I'm also thinking about it. 

Seems like I don't care anymore but that's the truth. No lies. 

Oh. that went well. whew. 

On Repeat . Future

Future by Paramore

This also doesn't need a full elaboration. 

The Self-Titled era was over but I wish I will be hearing this live. It was amazing and somehow powerful.

I'm writing the future

I'm writing it out, loud.

We don't talk about the past

We don't talk about the past, now

So I'm writing the future

I'm leaving a key here

Something won't always be missing

It won't always feel empty, here

Just think of the future

And think of your dreams

You'll get away from here

You'll get away eventually

So just think of your future

Think of a new life

Don't get lost in the memories

Keep your eyes on a new prize

On Repeat . Miracle Outro

Miracle Outro by Paramore

As always, my iPod was on shuffle when this song played and just in time on what I needed to hear. 

I love this outro. I don't think this post needs some elaboration on why this and that. Just listen to it and add some volume. 

I asked for love.

I asked for mercy.

I asked for patience.

But you're already all of these things.

I asked for love.

I asked for mercy.

I asked for patience.

But you're already all of these things.

I asked for love.

I asked for mercy.

I asked for patience.

But you're already all of these things.

Oh you are...

Oh you are...

I asked for love.

I asked for mercy.

I asked for patience.

But you're already all of these things.

I asked for love

I asked for mercy

I asked you for sunshine

But I thank you for the hard rain

Oh I thank you for the rain.

Oh you are, oh you are already all of these things

If I knew what I needed

If I knew what was good for me

I'd, I'd be down on my knees begging

Please please please

Let your light shine bright inside of me

Shine inside of me.

I know that you're already all of these things. 

On Repeat . True Colors

True Colors by Zedd

Zedd recently released True Colors and I've put it on my playlist together with Talking Dreams, Future Hearts, American Candy, Blurryface and California Nights. 

That's still my current playlist. 

This album goes to the file under "Background music" but I like all of them. I think it was lively than Clarity well, the album title was True Colors. 

Each song doesn't have much lyrics but so much beats and other stuff so here's the track list:

Addicted to a Memory (feat. Bahari) 

I Want You to Know (feat. Selena Gomez)

Beautiful now (feat. Jon Bellion)

Transmission (feat. Logic and X Ambassadors)

Done With Love

True Colors (feat. Kesha) 

Straight Into The Fire 

Papercut (feat. Troye Sivan) 

Bumble Bee (feat. Botnek) 

Daisy 

Illusion (feat. Echosmith) 

If you're looking for something new to listen then I recommend this. 

Zedd will be here in Manila on August 8 and as much as I want to watch it I'll pass because he will be a few days early from Echosmith and ATL. 

I heard his live show was good. But yeah. Priorities... But I can go just give me 2 tickets. :)

This love is your illusion - Illusion

On Repeat . Car Radio

Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots

Way back to 2013 when I first listened to Twenty One Pilots, the song that really stuck with me until now and I can sing and rap the whole song was Car Radio. Why? I don't know maybe because I haven't had a permission to drive a vehicle until today? Maybe. Mostly because I always listen to music and imagine if your driving a car without any music to listen to. Same with real life, I can't imagine my day without music. Silence is terrifying. With music, you can get lost with it most especially when the reality is being shitty and its one of the perfect escape that's not expensive you just need a very good earphones/headphones. 

I even made this a message alert tone on my phone since 2013 until last week because I changed it to something from Blurryface but its still on my phone. This is my favorite from Vessel but I love that album. 

I think the reason why I like them was they really put themselves into their songs that you can feel how they feel when they're talking about something. In an interview, they were asked on who they want to collaborate with and Tyler said he can't think of any as of the moment because if they want to collaborate with someone they want that person/band to be sincere on his/her/their craft not just singing it because they need to. They want someone who have connection with them and to the song that was born with the collaboration. Also the reason why I'm so picky on who to listen to when it comes to music. 

According to Tyler, this song was a real story. 

I was amazed when I watched the video and it was from one of their real show in Ohio. And I really felt how Tyler feel when he lost is car radio.  

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire, exhale desire

I know it's dire my time today

I have these thoughts, so often I ought

To replace that slot with what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole my car radio

And now I just sit in silence

Sometimes quiet is violent

I find it hard to hide it

My pride is no longer inside

It's on my sleeve

My skin will scream reminding me of

Who I killed inside my dream

I hate this car that I'm driving

There's no hiding for me

I'm forced to deal with what I feel

There is no distraction to mask what is real

I could pull the steering wheel

I have these thoughts, so often I ought

To replace that slot with what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole my car radio

And now I just sit in silence

I ponder of something terrifying

'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind

I find over the course of our human existence

One thing consists of consistence

And it's that we're all battling fear

Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here

Oh my, too deep, please stop thinking

I liked it better when my car had sound

There are things we can do

But from the things that work there are only two

And from the two that we choose to do

Peace will win and fear will lose

It is faith and there's sleep

We need to pick one please because

Faith is to be awake

And to be awake is for us to think

And for us to think is to be alive

And I will try with every rhyme

To come across like I am dying

To let you know you need to try to think

I have these thoughts, so often I ought

To replace that slot with what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole my car radio

And now I just sit in silence

And now I just sit in silence

And now I just sit

And now I just sit in silence

And now I just sit in silence

And now I just sit in silence

And now I just sit

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire, exhale desire

I know it's dire my time today

I have these thoughts, so often I ought

To replace that slot with what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole my car radio

And now I just sit in silence

On Repeat . Blurryface

Blurryface by Twenty One Pilots

http://www.twentyonepilots.com/

I can't believe that I haven't wrote anything from Twenty One Pilots on my On Repeat lists. 

I'm on a Twenty One Pilots hype right now and I can't explain it. Been watching videos and music videos and then I just realized that the first time I saw them was during SXSW 2013 when I was waiting for Paramore. It was Twenty One Pilots then Tegan and Sara then Paramore. I can't believe I've been listening to them ever since. 

Here are some favorite lines of each song from the rebel soundtrack of my life a.k.a. their new album and it does change from time to time. 

Heavydirtysoul - Can you save my heavydirtysoul? For me, for me

Stressed Out - Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days, When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out

Ride - I've been thinking too much (Help me) 

Fairly Local - I'm fairly local, I've been around | I've seen the streets you're walking down

Tear In My Heart - Sometimes you gotta bleed to know | That you're alive and have a soul (I love the beat of this song)

Lane Boy - They think this thing is a highway, highway | But will they be alive tomorrow

The Judge - I'm thinking, "wow, I probably shoulda stayed inside my house"

Doubt - Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety 

Polarize - Help me polarize, help me down 

We Don't Believe What's On TV - I don't care what's I'm your hair, I just want to know what's on your mind

Message Man - Release me from the present | I'm obsessing all these questions | Why I'm in denial that they tried the suicidal session

Hometown - Where we're from, there's no sun | Our hometown's in the dark (the beat of this reminds me of another song)

Not Today - You are out of my mind, you aren't seeing my side | You waste all this time trying to get to me | But you are out of my mind

Goner - Don't let me be gone

My favorite from this album is Goner but I liked all of them. :) 

Last week, I found out that they will be here for 2 mall shows next month which I can go on both and I'm so sure that I will be on one or on both shows. I'm still thinking about it. I can't let this pass, theres no ticket required (or at least you need to spend something first before you get a VIP one) but putting it on a mall? Its obviously free for everyone. That's good because I'm still saving for a ticket to Echosmith and All Time Low/The Maine on August but if there will be a ticket? I'm still willing to go. I will not let this pass as what I did on The 1975 because the fan girl in me for both bands are different so I will not let this pass. I don't want to regret this and its for free. 

I was watching some of their live shows and music videos and I'm thinking if I'm going to take picture from a far or just join the crowd. 

The hype started when Magic 89.9 had an interview with Josh and they've been announcing it on twitter and I was shocked at some point because so many people are tweeting about them. Never knew that there are so many people who listens to them. I don't listen much on radio since I got all of the tracks that I like on my iPod so I'm so surprised that they've been playing songs of Twenty One Pilots. 

Since their live shows are so INSANE, please take some time to experience my favorite duo. 

Since I haven't posted anything about them ever since 2013, I'll let you know what was my most favorite song from Vessel and I'll put that on my next On Repeat post. 

 These lyrics aren't for everyone, only a few understand - Message Man

At a Tattoo Shop

You can read my latest tattoo on this post. 

My schedule was 5PM and this will be my first time at Pao and Igin's tattoo parlor (shit I put shop on one post on instagram. Haha. Its not a shop! Lels. Does it matter? Haha)

I'll just put here my story that day because it was such a fun-steady-hang-out. 

I was supposed to be with Dap but they're scheduled to watch a movie and my nephew wasn't here when I was about to leave so I'm again alone when I should brought someone who wants to witness it. The next day, I was saying it to Alaine and she had nothing to do that night. Bummer, I should've asked her. 

I arrived there a little after 5PM and we are just catching up with a few things and they mentioned that someone inquire earlier when Regine was printing my star and setting up, a girl came and they said they want a tattoo and since I'm just having a little piece this time they can squeeze them up as far as they will just have a small one. 

Her friend came a little later and I don't know if that's nervousness or what but they're so talkative! Haha I remember when I wanted my first tattoo I was nervous but at the same time I'm so into it that I'm so excited and I was just smiling big when I was being tattooed. 

When they decided to stay and go for their first tattoo, I was just about to start my session and we are already saying that it doesn't hurt that bad. We almost trip on them when I told Regine that I think I should shout when she starts but we decided not to because they might run fast. Haha. 

Took my session for 30 minutes but I already told them that I will stay and I figured out that I have nothing to do for the rest of the day so I stayed and we just hang out while they're being tattooed. 

We talk random stuff and when Myla was done, her friend was next then she said that it doesn't hurt that bad and she was already thinking of getting another one. We are joking about it because she was done like 15 minutes ago and she's already thinking of another! Haha. I swear they have list of tattoos on their phone on what to get. Haha. She was thinking of putting her name or the symbol of Virgo.   

For the whole session of her friend she was just thinking on what to get and she decided on the sign of Virgo. Where to put it we suggest on wrist part and she put it on the outer wrist. 

I have a few list of tattoos and thinking on the spot on where to put it and what to get is not highly recommendable because you might regret it at the end. That's why I think about my tattoos longer than I should be like when I'm bored I do think of my next one and my reasons. Sometimes, I do browse #tattoo on instagram or read Inked Mag or Inked Girls or search celebrities with tattoos. 

Think about it not just twice or thrice before getting a tattoo. 

It was fun hanging out with them at the shop just a chill night. 

Thank you again Pao and Igin for letting me stay at the shop after my session. Till next time. :D

On Repeat . Last Hope

Last Hope by Paramore 

There are many post for the past two years that was inspired by this song and this will be the first time that I will put this song on "On Repeat" post with so many reasons why. First, I've been thinking to get a tattoo representing this song; Second, it helped me to go on with life even there are so many fucked up moments around; Third, it was so good on their live shows and hopefully, one day when Paramore comes back here or if I chase them somewhere else I can hear this live for myself because why not! Fourth, and so on and on. So many reasons. 

I put it under On Repeat but basically this is another tattoo post. 

Sara's tattoo

I've been planning to get a tattoo about this song and I was debating with myself if I want "Its just a spark but its enough to keep me going" then Sara Scoggins (who wrote this) got "its just a spark" while some got the title itself. Writing the Future tour was announced and when they said that this will be the end of the Self-Titled era, I knew that I need to decide. Took me months to think on what part of the song and where to put it. I searched for some people who got a Last Hope related tattoo for inspiration then my choices got an additional. I was choosing between "its just a spark", "its just a spark but its enough to keep me going" and the title of the song "Last Hope" and even the band name. I don't want to get a band name because I think its unfair to all of the bands that I listened to so I skipped the Paramore idea. 

I asked for a scheduled day from my tattoo artist a week before because I really want to get the tattoo before May 25th (US) because it will be the last date on tour and I want to get it before closing the Self-Titled era. 

Two/three weeks before I already have a final decision and I know that I'll get "Last Hope" but I need an icon or a thing that represent the "spark". I searched for a light bulb, a firework tattoo, drips, abstract paint that's so near with yellow and orange color and the last thing was and always be a star. Then I saw the perfect star. 

the drips means that sometimes we were almost at the edge to lose hope and I wanted a yellow star to represent the spark that keep us to go on with life. 

Where to put it? The last two tattoos that I got was on my back side and I think I need something that I will be seeing this time and its been a while since I'm begging for a new reminder tattoo and since its Last Hope I know that I need to put it on my wrist because its easy to cut but with this reminder it will be prevented. I'm not suicidal but there are tendencies that's just sleeping inside all of us.
 You can never tell.

May 21, 2015

Yep. I also want the font from the album though it was not the same but close enough. 

I'm so happy and so in love with it. 

Thank you Igin and Pao. :) 

When we listen to a song, it can be the same for us or not but if you have time just listen to any version that I will be posting below but its better if you listen to all of it. 

I don't even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
The more I try to push it
I realize – gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better
Then I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing is changed

But it will happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to
It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore
And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has
And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive

Alive

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I keep my eyes closed, with the blind hope)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh

Ohhh
Ohhh

On Repeat . California Nights

California Nights by Best Coast

I love all the songs and I can relate to every single of it. Here are some lyrics or part of the song that I like.

Feeling Ok - I know someday I'll find it | Where I least expect it 

Fine Without You - I know it's hard to understand | You've got to let it go | The situation is out of your hands 

Heaven Sent - When you were gone I wasn't good I wasn't fine

In My Eyes - I treated you badly | We ended so sadly | Wish I didn't care

So Unaware - What is life, what is love? What's the meaning of it all? Do I even care or is it just that I am so unaware

When Will I Change - The weight of the world | Crashes down on my shoulders | I'm a big girl now | But I don't feel much older

Jealousy - Girls will be girls and boys will be boys | It's just the way it is 

California Nights - I never wanna get so high | That I can't come back down to real life

Fading Fast - This love will be the death of me | And you'll always be a part of me

Run Through My Head - It's a mystery why you ever left | I don't know why, I don't know why I am second best. 

Sleep Won't Ever Come - I blame it on the world cause it can be so cruel

Wasted Time - I don't have a real reason why | I wait for you at the end

If you want to know whats running on my head for once in a while, you should listen to this but even if you don't want to just listen to this album and it will take you to California or just a beach vibe. 

When I listen to Best Coast all I wanted to do is drive silently on the beach side or sit on the sand while it's sunset with shades.

So much feels.

ps. you might want to read this interview

On Repeat . Fly

Fly by Avril Lavigne

The moment I heard this song for the first time, I want to hug Avril. 

Coming from an illness that almost killed her and releasing this after getting better, it was perfect. Not to mention that I really need a new song that will save me from that current moment of my life.

This is so perfect and the video makes me tear up. So much love for you Avril. 

There's a light inside of all of us

It's never hiding you just have to light it

It's the one thing that you've gotta trust

It's like a diamond, you just have to find it

So if you ever feel like giving up

Yeah, let's remember that.. we were all meant to fly

Spread your wings, across the universe

It's your time to, it's your time to shine

There's a light inside of all of us

Soon, you'll find that it's your time to fly

Your time to fly

A little help is all it ever takes

Somebody else to tell you it's worth fighting

A single step becomes a leap a faith

That's when you realize you started flyin'

So, don't you ever say you're giving up !

No, there's no looking back... cause we were all meant to fly

Spread your wings, across the universe

It's your time to, it's your time to shine

There's a light inside of all of us

Soon, you'll find that it's your time to fly

It's your time to fly

Just reach up, don't give up

Until you touch the sky

Just reach up, don't give up

Until you've realized

That we were all meant to fly

Spread your wings, across the universe

It's your time to, it's your time to shine

There's a light inside of all of us

Soon, you'll find that it's your time to fly, fly

It's your time to, it's your time to shine, shine

Soon, you'll find that it's your time to fly

Spread your wings, across the universe

It's your time to, it's your time to shine

There's a light inside of all of us

Soon, you'll find that it's your time to fly