Random . August 2024

MOA in my dream. Should I go there? Maybe I will anytime this month

When you already feeling down and the universe will still push you even deeper 

I have my own reasons why I don’t usually make move to invite friends to hang out but I’m so game when my dude asked. Haha 

Cross paths will the ex best friend and that’s when you know and realized stuff. Lol

Dear self, why are we buying so much like it’s the end of the world

Mantra but yeah.  

Hello, BGC! It’s been a while 

At this time of the year it’s so hard to have such motivation. Hopefully, it will change within a week.

Asking for a break is really unnecessary so I’m just taking it slow. 

And right then he just vanished. See, I know you are just one of them

As much as I get you, you don’t have any idea how stressful it is as well on the other end 

Sometimes you just got to listen 

Someone says “trust no one”. Well, you really can trust anybody these days 

8.8 SCAM! Lol

Will never apologize if it comes to my mental health even it means I look not responsible on things

Can’t hide forever. 

One of those days. 

Saw a video regarding with a Blackberry phone and I missed mine. Sadly I can’t really use it anymore since some of the keys are not working anymore

To revive my other number or not. 

13 years. Wow. I still don’t know how I did survive but here we are. 08.10.2024 

Dreamland you are not fun when it’s a little longer

Finally, yoga!

2 years ago, I saw Billie Eilish for the first time! 

The solution for me to stop watching live selling and videos is to watch a movie or a series 

Just the thought of it gives me so much anxiety 

I’m not sure who to blame anymore but this is one reason why this country will never going to move forward. 

There will always be something that will ruin your day completely 

When you just want to give up because everything is too much already. 

Would you believe me if I tell you that I never wanted all of these challenging shit 

I loved it until I was bullied and everyone turned to something I wasn’t expecting 

Is it still worth saving

Haven’t picked up my kindle for days now 

I told you so but you never listened 

Reckless decision that causes so much delays 

If I will be suspecting a mole, don’t act surprise if you belong to the list

That’s when I knew I made some wrong decisions before. A clear answer to my question years ago 

A little lesson for everyone and I just want to scream, TOLD YOU SO. 

Missed Paramore tonight as The Eras Tour returns to London

I low key like the color blue 

Switching from 4 to 9. 

I don’t have much regret but I will always wonder. #21 

End up watching The Eras Tour tonight in London

From BGC to Palawan real quick. #dream 

Youtube for an hour as my background

eSIM as a replacement for the deactivated number that I loved for years 

Huhu super worth it to see the last night of Paramore opening for The Eras Tour. Going to miss them for a while and I really wish that I take down notes on what shows that I watched via stream. 

Trimmed my hair. 08.22.2024 

#dream drowning in popcorn and I can’t stop eating it.

Just putting TTPD on repeat after that European leg. Can this be PCD?

Yup it was such a wrong decision, self

Just taking this long weekend very seriously 

“Post and ghost” - Kim K

Sunday with cousins

Figured out that no one will take me seriously and it took this long to believe that someone will

Same script every single time. You think I believe? Lol

When your plans are completely ruined

It feels like just yesterday it was the first day of this month and now it’s going to be BER months? Wtf

Most depressing season is here. 

Oh wow 

So Long, London. 

I was so scared to have COVID but it still fucked me up in another way

Too much realization at this time of the month

Brain will explode anytime soon

Too much to do and I’m not done yet!! 

Hello, anxiety. 

I can almost buy one but no. #mantra

3 slices of pizza for midnight snack. 

On Repeat . THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: THE ANTHOLOGY

On Repeat . You Could Be Anyone

Book . Fix

I finished my last book in April and now I badly need to start reading again since I need to reach my 10 books goal on Goodreads. 

One more reason why it took me awhile because I was contemplating with what book to read next because I might get bored on any non-fiction that I will end up not picking up my kindle  and I’m not sure if I’m ready to read some romance. 

For an easy read and to be able to finish I go with romance and once again tried to read Molly McAdams again. Before when I came back to reading I noticed that I always go to Colleen Hoover but now I tried Molly McAdams again. 

I’m currently 50% into the book and I’m enjoying it. 

 

How I wish I can be somehow like Rae who can travel by land whenever and just live from city or state then jump into another one when it time to move on. It’s not the reality we live in but I’ve seen some people who are living on a trailer who do that for sure it isn’t easy but life will always have pros and cons. 

~

I finally finished the book and I enjoyed it really. Brought me again to the other world to escape the reality and I really love how books make you escape life for a moment. 

When I started reading again years ago I chose to do Young Adult or Romance and I never get tired of it even reading all the series if it comes from one but now as of the moment, I decided not to read a series. I never read anything like Harry Potter that comes from series but I think I’ll be bored. I might say it early but I change my mind once in a while and depend on my mood but for now that will do. Maybe read the next book months or a year later who knows. 

I don’t usually do review thoroughly so that’s for it already. Lol 

I just got lost sometimes on the shifting of scene and sometimes on conversation without proper way to shift but if it’s just me then maybe I’m the problem. Haha 

The twist is just okay but I hate it like most of the revelation are already at the latter part which it should be but putting a bunch of information in one page to reveal something is just too much. 

Also why does all of the confession are mostly during s*x? Can people not have just a normal conversation like in real life? Lol I know this is fantasy but seriously thankful for Nathan as a break from all the love scene. 

The book/story reminds me of this song - People That I Love Leave (Cassadee Pope)

Gave this 3 stars on Goodreads just because but seriously I enjoyed the escape. 

 

Random . July 2024

Am I getting better or worst? Feeling light headed since last night and I’m making delay everything

I know that M will never be back but if I’m wrong I’m sure that I will still be running to him for a hug 

huhu broke my move streak today - 07.05.2024 

Sleepy all week long

End up at 5AM when I decided to work at night on a weekend as long as my laptop has battery 

There’s a part of my recent dream that you are telling me not to ever try to look for you. #21

Megamall on a Monday

Didn’t expect that I will be in Megamall for the whole day and now I end up shopping a little. I’m good not going to any mall for the next 3 months. Lol 

17k steps while in Megamall all day. I’m tired 

Leg day for 2 days! 

Few minutes of break then we hustle again

Oops someone is not aware of the dates now. Lol 

These thoughts that keeping me awake again until 5AM is insane 

My insomnia is at its worst 

I’m so sleepy

The lack of sleep is showing and I’m fucking hate it. 

London. - 07.12.2024 

Such a new distraction and I never spill such words

Then it will just be like the other guys 

Busy weekend

Melatonin to the rescue before I cry again to sleep 

Anxiety is so high right now

Letting go is easy when you don’t expect anything

There’s too much melatonin in my system now. Lol 

Dynn as a low key Jack Jack in my dream. Lol 

Karma might be the real bitch

Is it going to be today already or we have to postponed it again

I really hate using phone in the morning

Staycation or just give it up for the silence 

Staycation ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

No matter how pretty a hotel room can be, you will always find more comfort on your own

Weekend is to have a cry fest

Sucks to be on this side of the world

I thought this was a birthday celebration apparently you can’t avoid gossip in here. And WTF she’s not done yet! 

Oh no rainy day. All I want to do is sleep. 

Raining all day is a little bit of my weakness

To be so in love like Hayley Williams

I’m reading a book again! Need 8 more to reach this year’s goal and now I just want to read all day. 

Will I have the weekend to rest

I think I’ll bleach my hair this weekend

To still be in bed by 2PM. #weekend 

One more book, done! 

Emptied my last Blue Ruin

All-nighter while watching The Eras Tour from Munich, Germany 

Is it okay to smile, to laugh or be happy for a moment? No? Okay. 

Procrastinating at its finest. 

Was able to watch from start till finish The Eras Tour tonight. 

Spent 1 hour watching people having ball python as a pet in this country and as much as I want to I think I still can’t. 

#dream visited Hayley at her home and we’re friends? WTF!!! 

Some things you can’t really avoid 

People will never ever understand and I’m very much aware of it. 

Weird dreams forever. 

Love and hate relationship with end of the month. 

Thanks, July. 

3 Months

Despite all the sad and happy moments

The last 3 months without you,

I'm still figuring out how to go on

Wishing you show up unexpectedly

Somehow wanting to call or text

But nothing

I think this is the longest of nothing

And it's just a start

Caught myself on random days

Revisiting a memory

Most days, I'm good

Getting used to days without you again

After years of having you or not really

For now, I'll count

Maybe until this year ends

Eventually I will stop 

Without even noticing 

09.29.2023 10:28

On Repeat . Hereditary