Random . December 2020

 

On my lasik day, I got this number. 

~ 

Hello, December. 

Praying for a successful lasik surgery. 

Got to see a glimpse of today’s pink sky

Recovery starter pack: dimmed room and Echo Dot

Will you even notice that I’m not there today. Is that even noticeable maybe not. 

How do I do things? I don’t even know too. 

On leave for 2 days and here we go with my backlogs. 

Don’t blame someone just because you are angry to the person. Know the other reason. 

That’s why I stay away from people because they got a lot to say. They will never try to understand your point or reason and they think that they are always right. 

Don’t blame a person, blame the government. It’s a cycle. 

When people don’t know who to trust and when they don’t know what is confidential and not. 

How is that even possible that my brain is working so fast right now. I should be sleepy by now. 

I can’t really believe that my brain is working at 2AM

One week without glasses

You might not be a part of this but you will always be a part of them. 

You don’t have to be so loud all the time.  

If it’s already too much, let’s make a little issue a big one 

One thing for sure, I don’t need to explain myself to you. You are the one who need to do some explanation. 

Thank you for tonight, mela

When you have so much stuff to do but still choose to be in bed by 3PM

Sometimes you give people a chance but they don’t appreciate it, they just waste it. 

Why not spend your extra time for yourself than wasting it with other people. 

Why protect people that will never protect you in return 

I guess some people really don’t learn or maybe they are just new to the situation

I’m the first person in the list when it comes to details. 

Well, good to know that there are people who are not too much attentive. 

Eww. For not respecting the place and the other person for not wearing a damn mask. 

Trying to be nice

It was not me not liking you. I'm still kinda saving you but I guess you will not realize that because for you I'm always the villain. 

And still reality continue to eat us up. 

For the whole year, I’m just going to admit now that I'm too tired with everything

Just when your tears continues to fall down on your face

Some people will never try to understand humanity or maybe they just don't care about other people. 

Putting other people first before yourself is love but sometimes its just too much obligation if you don't have time for yourself. 

My favorite month but the busiest as well. 

Don't remind me of my birthday. I'm being too emotional about it. 

Apparently, you don't have to stock so much food because of expiration date

I understand everyone’s exhaustion but lets not make it more complicated so we can also avoid future problems

 

I guess I'll wear black for the rest of the year. 

Excuse me but I'm not going to make some talking for a while. 

Can I sleep for the rest of the year? 

Hate this feeling that I'm doubting myself so much. 

Somethings are really out of my control but I assure you that I already did my part and final decisions are not up to me. If only you knew. 

Being soft doesn't mean you're not strong. 

And just like that I somehow became careless. 

People don't realize that there’s such thing as karma and it work in different ways. 

When people are not even aware of their surrounding. 

Merry Christmas!

Thankful for a long weekend but I'm not sure with the 2 day work window before another long weekend and the stress after that. 

This year has been full of different new things. 

Good to know that these people think very differently. Make me realize that they know less than what I thought. 

It’s a rainy birthday on a Sunday aka be on bed all day. Lol Happy Birthday, self. 

Someone is making a little effort this time and he got it right as well. Haha Thank you, M. 

Aww so much love for my dude even she’s in Palawan!

Let it be known that on my birthday, it is not an exceptional day to check my socials more than I check it on a daily basis. I'm aware there are greetings posted on Facebook and some messages on Messenger and I thank you for that. 

Busy 2 days work window. Let's do this. 

 When it’s going to be a busy day ahead but your brain is still working at 4:30am

If you have a choice then choose. 

Doesn’t mean you know my mobile number doesn’t mean we are close. 

Don’t be a brat you’re not a queen 

You really made sure that I’ll see you shining so bright tonight. 🌙

Don’t lecture me on how I use my social media. 

You are shining bright again tonight. 🌙 

Watched “Fan Girl” and people will really take that differently just because they want to see Paulo but I tell you that it is very relatable. A very good message to all the fan boys and girls. Just watched it beyond the artist who portray the characters.  

“Dont meet your heroes they’re all fucking weirdos” - 929 Halsey

Time with the family  

Be thankful for everything. 

Happy New Year! 

My 2020 Goal

It was last year when I finally decided that in 2020 I will get my lasik done. 

Read and watched other people’s experience about it and I learned few things about it. All of their experiences are true, it is painless, you will be okay after the surgery and if you are trusting the clinic/facility and the doctors, you will be in good hands. 

Since all of the experiences are already shared on socials, I decided to write about my “why’s”. 

Why Lasik is my 2020 goal. 2020 in 2020 as other will say it. 

Why lasik? Cliche as it is, here’s my story. 

I started to wear glasses during 3rd year high school (15 years ago) even I already have poor eyesight who knows when it started. 

Contact lens are fine but I also went through the time where I don’t remove it at night just so it will not be hassle the next morning. I think I started with contact lens during JS Prom. 

Through the years, you have to buy contact lens and solutions and you really should have glasses as well. It’s pricey as well and you will really save somehow when these things will be out of the monthly necessities. 

My last glasses which was in 2017 already costs 5,000-10,000php depends on your frame of choice and on your eye grade and to some customization. I've been using it until this year. 

When you have an eye grade of 400 and up, you should really consider lasik to see the world without depending on glasses. Somehow with my OCness, you will really spend if you want to look good on everyday with the glasses of your choice. I stick to few specific glasses that I used because I believe that my ears are not on the same level that most glasses will not look good on me.   

I hate depending on something for me to function very well. My life literally depends on my glasses 24/7 because I'm so blind without it. 

I love to travel as well and you also need to make sure you have your glasses and contact lens packed unless you will leave half of your life at home. Taiwan trip make me decide really that I like to have Lasik done as well. 

When I decided last year during Christmas season, I started researching about the different clinics who offers Lasik surgery. Instead of me changing my glasses last year, I waited for a while to have my eye checked if I’m eligible for the procedure. 

Wear my last contact lens in January 4, 2020 and scheduled an appointment for January 9, 2020. You need to rest your eyes from contact lens for a while before Lasik since contact lens makes our eyes dry. 

I’m not sure what will really happen at first but I'm willing to trust the process and for me to be comfortable with it, I choose American Eye Center. 

On my first check up, they did the usual test and the doctor find some issues because of my dry eyes that’s when she told me that I need to have drops for 2 weeks just to see improvements there is a 95% that I’m eligible for it but then that 5% is also a huge one if we are talking about eyesight. 

Returned after 2 weeks and there was improvement but she assured me that she wants to have that 100% so she make me returned after another 2 weeks with different drops this time. Probably there was some improvement but it was slow she make me returned after a month (March 10, 2020). 

Covid was already circulating that time and that was also the last time I was out in the city before the lockdown on March 15, 2020. 

Supposedly I should go back after 2 weeks but lockdown so, it was cancelled and it was not an emergency case, why do I need to be bothered about it although I really want it to be done but then, I have to wait. 

During lockdown, I’m glad that I found the drops on the drug store and I just continue to do it for the next months. The drops that I was prescribed was for dry eyes and during that time, I was able to observe my eyes more. Though there are times that I really do forgot but I always see them so I was able to be reminded. 

Fast forward on months where we are somehow being back to normal, I once again experience headache that might be related to my eye grade and I’m not game to spend maybe 10,000php for another set of glasses and good thing that American Eye Center is already open, I tried to book another appointment just to be sure if this is the right time for me because personally, I feel some improvement with my dry eyes issue. 

November 19,2020 was my schedule and I got my go signal. Continuing the drops during lockdown wasn’t bad after all 

Coordinating with the schedule of Dr. Sy, I decided to do it on December 1st. Why not welcome my favorite month with a bang. 

Everything went so fast on the day of surgery. Pre-op test were done in a snap then the next thing I know I was being prepared for the operation. 

The things you read are true, it was painless that you will never feel a thing but I felt that my heart almost jumped out of my chest then it was done. 

It was a little bit blurry at first but I was able to walk up to the parking and then we are back home. Ate snack before I locked myself in my room for recovery. I prepared everything already, cleaned my room, stock up water and prepare my playlist so I will just tell Alexa what to play. 

Your eyelid will force you to keep your eyes closed and sleep and that's the healing process. 

3 drops for the next few hours with 4 hours interval. 

Few hours later I can see the world without glasses. 

Although I may still need to use reading glasses after how many years but maybe as long as I will not be back on 400 eye grade, I think I’m fine. 

Went back to the clinic the next day for the follow up check up and I was good. 

Done with the 1 week check up and still good just need to stick on my drops for dry eyes but other than that, I’m really good. 

Thankful that I was able to do it before this year ends and despite of being in the middle of a pandemic, I felt safe during my check up and mostly during surgery day. Thankful for Dr. Sy and the staff that was helpful that day. 

As these times we are always on screen, limit your time with it. Control it. It will be a huge different if you lessen your screen time. 

If you have budget why not try to get check if you are eligible for the procedure it was really a life changer decision. You just need a few hours for check up then maybe 2-3 days rest including the surgery day itself. 

I’m still trying to convince my sister to do it as well. 

Random . November 2020

 

It’s the time of the year to see familiar faces but I guess we have to skip this year. 

If it is normal season, it’s so good to wear some Dr. Martens. 

I can’t help but swear every time I realize that another month passed. Sht. 

Every time I’m about to check out a footwear, I always end up canceling. I have no where to go even that was 35% off. / ok I gave in to just one pair. 

As much as I really want to go back to reading, I might really have no time for it as real life stresses me so much. 

Should I skip all the planning for the rest of the year? I’m stressed out. 

Why does my ex-best friend checking up on me? #dream

I don’t want to point fingers anymore but sometimes you got to dig up hard to see the root of the problem. One’s clumsiness can lead to a disaster. 

Just hanging by a thread. 

I miss playing with lipsticks. 

Sometimes, I really just don’t care anymore. 

2 done, few more to go. 

There are arguments that there will never be a winner. 

One can’t understand the other. Maybe they will never just going to see your point.

A healthy conversation turns to be a toxic for some. 

Sometimes, you just got to be selfish 

There will always be a healthy arguments but if someone take it too seriously or way too far from the point itself, it will always be the killer. 

When you stop caring for other people, will they even notice? Or they will just say that you don’t care at all, when you stopped because they don’t listen and appreciate?

A private chat will never solve that for me and a facebook thing will never be appealing to me. 

Kids needs socializing as well unfortunately due to this pandemic they are forbidden on that. Though when they had that, somehow they can also be mingling with the wrong crowd. 

Gone are the days that it will surprise us. I wish it will be back soon. Praying. 

Convincing myself that it wasn’t my fault. 

It all went wrong when they force to put the unnecessary characters. 

Typhoon. And we don’t have electricity. 

No electricity then when we decided to check socials, we were shocked 

Ondoy memories are creeping back. 

Trying my very best not to indulge on social media even I’m getting updates from the effect of the typhoon, for now, I will focus on what I need to do for this week. 

Just trying to be reminded what happened earlier. 

I was traumatized by Ondoy that I didn’t left the house for a week and seeing the same situation happened earlier, it's hitting me hard. 

This pandemic and typhoon is giving me so much anxiety. 

I don’t expect anyone to be as OC as I am but how hard it is to be a little organized

I have to decrease my screen time but everything is being updated on socials. 

Just going to catch up on my TV series. 

I can act being drunk even without being actually drunk. 

I have a very specific post that I thought of early this week but then with all the circumstances that happened I think I will not post it anymore. 

With the size of iPhone 12 mini, I hope Android will do the same after that 2 years old s10e

Still waiting for that USB-C iPhone 

Now I’m guilty that I shopped during 11.11

The past few days since the weekend, have been so terrible. I badly need to lessen my screen time starting this week. 

Will this be the time? Hopefully. #2020goal 

Self, please be reminded that there is still a pandemic 

Hoping for an opposite result but it somehow frustrate me so much thinking that I may never gonna achieve this goal ever just because of that 5%

I’m so anxious 

Got my “go signal”. I’ll take the 2 weeks for more improvement 

Today will surely feel like a Monday. #Friday 

“Eligible” is the word. 

That’s too much socials. Time to stop. 

Trying to balance things out but at the end of the day, I asked myself if I’m doing the right thing. 

Happy Fiesta, hometown. 

This is for me and not for anybody else. Call me selfish. Idk

Life can be so frustrating. 

How come we are surviving this year 

When you’re teaching other people a lesson but they are not getting the idea. 

Sometimes I still can’t understand how life works. 

Yup, I don’t use Messenger much. 

This crazy times changes everything, why expect the usual habit? You haven’t informed about the pandemic?

Sorry well not really that I’m not a fan of group chats. 

I still got a lot of questions. 

I can tell you but you will never understand. One word, pandemic. 

I hate the idea of the vision in my head. 

When you wanted to start a new or revamp things up but the pandemic happened. Is it still an acceptable reason these days? I guess, people are really not fan of long process. 

How come i missed that pink sky. 

How can we go through this. Help me not to give up. 

I know it's also my problem but I don’t want to drown myself to that because I learned. For the sake of my own mental health, I chose not to. 

There are few reason why I bake. 

Sometimes, you got to do it by yourself 'coz no one will do it for you. 

Maybe I want to be back in Boracay once again just for a beautiful sunset.