Random . December 2020

 

On my lasik day, I got this number. 

~ 

Hello, December. 

Praying for a successful lasik surgery. 

Got to see a glimpse of today’s pink sky

Recovery starter pack: dimmed room and Echo Dot

Will you even notice that I’m not there today. Is that even noticeable maybe not. 

How do I do things? I don’t even know too. 

On leave for 2 days and here we go with my backlogs. 

Don’t blame someone just because you are angry to the person. Know the other reason. 

That’s why I stay away from people because they got a lot to say. They will never try to understand your point or reason and they think that they are always right. 

Don’t blame a person, blame the government. It’s a cycle. 

When people don’t know who to trust and when they don’t know what is confidential and not. 

How is that even possible that my brain is working so fast right now. I should be sleepy by now. 

I can’t really believe that my brain is working at 2AM

One week without glasses

You might not be a part of this but you will always be a part of them. 

You don’t have to be so loud all the time.  

If it’s already too much, let’s make a little issue a big one 

One thing for sure, I don’t need to explain myself to you. You are the one who need to do some explanation. 

Thank you for tonight, mela

When you have so much stuff to do but still choose to be in bed by 3PM

Sometimes you give people a chance but they don’t appreciate it, they just waste it. 

Why not spend your extra time for yourself than wasting it with other people. 

Why protect people that will never protect you in return 

I guess some people really don’t learn or maybe they are just new to the situation

I’m the first person in the list when it comes to details. 

Well, good to know that there are people who are not too much attentive. 

Eww. For not respecting the place and the other person for not wearing a damn mask. 

Trying to be nice

It was not me not liking you. I'm still kinda saving you but I guess you will not realize that because for you I'm always the villain. 

And still reality continue to eat us up. 

For the whole year, I’m just going to admit now that I'm too tired with everything

Just when your tears continues to fall down on your face

Some people will never try to understand humanity or maybe they just don't care about other people. 

Putting other people first before yourself is love but sometimes its just too much obligation if you don't have time for yourself. 

My favorite month but the busiest as well. 

Don't remind me of my birthday. I'm being too emotional about it. 

Apparently, you don't have to stock so much food because of expiration date

I understand everyone’s exhaustion but lets not make it more complicated so we can also avoid future problems

 

I guess I'll wear black for the rest of the year. 

Excuse me but I'm not going to make some talking for a while. 

Can I sleep for the rest of the year? 

Hate this feeling that I'm doubting myself so much. 

Somethings are really out of my control but I assure you that I already did my part and final decisions are not up to me. If only you knew. 

Being soft doesn't mean you're not strong. 

And just like that I somehow became careless. 

People don't realize that there’s such thing as karma and it work in different ways. 

When people are not even aware of their surrounding. 

Merry Christmas!

Thankful for a long weekend but I'm not sure with the 2 day work window before another long weekend and the stress after that. 

This year has been full of different new things. 

Good to know that these people think very differently. Make me realize that they know less than what I thought. 

It’s a rainy birthday on a Sunday aka be on bed all day. Lol Happy Birthday, self. 

Someone is making a little effort this time and he got it right as well. Haha Thank you, M. 

Aww so much love for my dude even she’s in Palawan!

Let it be known that on my birthday, it is not an exceptional day to check my socials more than I check it on a daily basis. I'm aware there are greetings posted on Facebook and some messages on Messenger and I thank you for that. 

Busy 2 days work window. Let's do this. 

 When it’s going to be a busy day ahead but your brain is still working at 4:30am

If you have a choice then choose. 

Doesn’t mean you know my mobile number doesn’t mean we are close. 

Don’t be a brat you’re not a queen 

You really made sure that I’ll see you shining so bright tonight. 🌙

Don’t lecture me on how I use my social media. 

You are shining bright again tonight. 🌙 

Watched “Fan Girl” and people will really take that differently just because they want to see Paulo but I tell you that it is very relatable. A very good message to all the fan boys and girls. Just watched it beyond the artist who portray the characters.  

“Dont meet your heroes they’re all fucking weirdos” - 929 Halsey

Time with the family  

Be thankful for everything. 

Happy New Year! 

2020 Year End.

 

Since I wasn’t able to do a birthday post this year, it will just be a year-end post. 

How to start remembering this year. 

January - seems so long ago but I was able to ... I’m really not sure what happened that time. Lol wait, Gem and I hang out once that month and I had my pitch perfect moment. Haha We are somehow planning trips by January.

February - another month that was so fast but I was able to hangout with Gem and Keith for the first and last time this year. 

March to December - everything was cancelled and we are ordered to stay home. If you are reading this, we survived. I'm in full stress since then. 

How come we are already just few hours away from 2021 that we were able to survive 2020? Let’s be honest that it wasn’t the year we all expected. Every plan was cancelled and everything changed. 

Probably the few things I loved during lockdown even all of us struggle in so many ways is that we were able to spend time with family. I’m sorry if your environment at home is a toxic one though I wish you were also be able to have time for yourself. 

I love that the nature healed at some point and I thought that somehow in the near future, we should really have a lockdown just for the nature to heal. 

Nothing new but I worried so much this year than the past year. 

I was able to baked a lot too. Tried different cooking as well and I tell you that there are also failures. Hehe but I enjoyed it. 

Got a quick date in the middle of all of these. 

Got my Lasik done 

Doubted myself more than the past years as well. 

I was tired a lot too but thankful that I’m still here. 

The screen on my Macbook isn't working for almost 6 months and it made me buy a TV

I built a smart room during pandemic

Online shopping is the answer for not being able to go to the mall. Though I already appreciate buying online ever since because you can just type away what you are looking for than wasting time at the mall. One thing I like about malls is that I can walk for hours

Thankful we have a house that I already feel safe even without this virus. 

So sorry for extroverts that were stuck at home for so long but introverts are very happy. Don't get me wrong I also miss being able to travel from hometown to MOA just because Gem have free time for me even on a weekday. 

I miss my solo travel to the city just because I’m so exhausted with hometown. 

In the middle of this year even though it wasn't even that noticeable, I somehow feared that I will not be able to do the things that I want to do personally but somehow I did it and here we are. 

Nikka gave birth and I still wasn't able to visit them and we didn't even got to celebrate our birthdays. 

Going back to March when Lhea was supposed to be back home from the UK but a week before her flight it was lockdown all over the world. We were supposed to be in La Union and Baguio and maybe a Palawan trip as well. Speaking of Palawan, it was somehow a plan to be there for the end of the year. 

Of course who knows where Gem and I was during summer vacation. Maybe I already did a solo travel if not because of the pandemic. 

I was planning to buy an Avril Lavigne concert ticket last minute. Who knows who were the artist that we were supposed to see this year. Maybe I was able to be reunited with my sisiw friends. Hehe. I miss you guys. 

Maybe another solo trip watching UAAP basketball. Who would have been the champion this year. I miss wearing that Green and Gold shirt and cheer for the team. 

There was supposed to be another trip with my college friends for a follow up to our La Union - Baguio trip. Scammers needs to unite. Haha

Two of my friends in college got their license as doctors this year and we weren't able to celebrate. Congrats Doc Ariane and Doc Doni!!! Miss you!

I miss having long talks with friends, I know there’s social media but let us all admit that being there at the moment having beer or coffee is so much different and much better. 

This pandemic somehow really teach us to be by ourself and family or to whoever you are with at home but really most especially is to appreciate yourself and life. 

I haven't mentioned that I got another tattoo this year. Somehow planning to add more before summer next year. 

Speaking of summer, I miss being at the beach witnessing that sky, sunset, sunrise and the ocean. I'm considering to go back to Boracay. 

Gem teased me already that I might be in Palawan every weekend if this is over. Seeing Amelia and Grace grow up and probably they don't know me once I get back there. I miss the extended family I got there. I miss Tita Bing too. This also includes Donita and Tita Nits. 

I'm somehow sure that I watched all of Brian Barczyk vlogs this year. 

I'm still on a success maintaining my usage of Facebook up to this year. 

Since we can't travel, you will notice the theme of the photos on my phone mostly the dogs.

I have an undercut for almost 6 months now. I also didn't dye my hair for so long that I just went back to it by October. 

Lost my grandma last August but not with the virus. Happy to announce as of this moment no one on my close friends and family got the virus. 

I cried a lot as well.

As if people will believe that I somehow really fought for them but it was beyond my control. 

In the pandemic we should really not depend on others but know that we are responsible for ourselves as well. 

I stopped reading books that I wasn't able to join the book club for so long because of my anxiety and lack of time for that. I wish I was able to read at least 10 books but it was just 5 this year so hopefully there will be some courage in me to read again next year. 

I somehow wasn't able to catch up on a lot of things since everything is online now because I got a life outside of the internet and I somehow don't trust it. 

I was able to not write and write some of my feelings over this year as well. There are some personal notes that I didn't even hold back what I wanted to say. The times where I don't write is that I'm avoiding too much feelings and I don't want to ugly cry that moment. I escape more this year because of much more concerns and responsibilities. 

I watch movies with family sometimes. That was our bonding moment. 

My laptop is already at 27% of battery and I'm not planning to charge it anymore since I just want to finish this and scheduled it for midnight since I will also be spending time with family. 

Maybe even I wasn't able to mention a lot of things, its good to back read my monthly post. 

One thing is for sure we are so ready to move on from 2020 that somehow ruined us but at the same time makes us stronger that we never thought it was possible. 

This pandemic will probably not be gone when the clock struck 12 midnight of 2021 but for all of us that is a sign of hope for not giving up even it was so hard and very uncertain year. Never in our lifetime we expect such event but as we are all experiencing this may we also still prepare for the worst because who knows but never lose your hope and faith. 

Live in the moment. 

Appreciate the little things. 

Have more patience, be open minded and accept the changes. 

Pandemic might not be a valid excuse for others but please be aware that we are still in the after effect and still might take some time for us to be back to the normal that we use to have. 

Thank you for the artists that still continue to release music that saves us this year even without tours. Please special appreciation for Taylor Swift. 

Thank you for all the people who greeted me on Facebook despite of me not seeing it as well as the few on the Messenger. Haha. Know that I don't have much time for that shit hole. 

Stay healthy and safe. 

Hopefully we can be back out there gain doing the things we love to do and hobbies without worrying so much

One day we will also be free of face mask and shields. 

Hopefully a little bit more better than 2020. 

I don't want to talk politics on this platform but we were really in a bad governance this year. 

~~~

Stay safe. 

Happy New Year! 

12.31.2020 / 

On Repeat . Hayley Williams: Tiny Desk

 Hayley Williams: Tiny Desk 

On Repeat . Petals for Armor: Self - Serenades

My 2020 Goal

It was last year when I finally decided that in 2020 I will get my lasik done. 

Read and watched other people’s experience about it and I learned few things about it. All of their experiences are true, it is painless, you will be okay after the surgery and if you are trusting the clinic/facility and the doctors, you will be in good hands. 

Since all of the experiences are already shared on socials, I decided to write about my “why’s”. 

Why Lasik is my 2020 goal. 2020 in 2020 as other will say it. 

Why lasik? Cliche as it is, here’s my story. 

I started to wear glasses during 3rd year high school (15 years ago) even I already have poor eyesight who knows when it started. 

Contact lens are fine but I also went through the time where I don’t remove it at night just so it will not be hassle the next morning. I think I started with contact lens during JS Prom. 

Through the years, you have to buy contact lens and solutions and you really should have glasses as well. It’s pricey as well and you will really save somehow when these things will be out of the monthly necessities. 

My last glasses which was in 2017 already costs 5,000-10,000php depends on your frame of choice and on your eye grade and to some customization. I've been using it until this year. 

When you have an eye grade of 400 and up, you should really consider lasik to see the world without depending on glasses. Somehow with my OCness, you will really spend if you want to look good on everyday with the glasses of your choice. I stick to few specific glasses that I used because I believe that my ears are not on the same level that most glasses will not look good on me.   

I hate depending on something for me to function very well. My life literally depends on my glasses 24/7 because I'm so blind without it. 

I love to travel as well and you also need to make sure you have your glasses and contact lens packed unless you will leave half of your life at home. Taiwan trip make me decide really that I like to have Lasik done as well. 

When I decided last year during Christmas season, I started researching about the different clinics who offers Lasik surgery. Instead of me changing my glasses last year, I waited for a while to have my eye checked if I’m eligible for the procedure. 

Wear my last contact lens in January 4, 2020 and scheduled an appointment for January 9, 2020. You need to rest your eyes from contact lens for a while before Lasik since contact lens makes our eyes dry. 

I’m not sure what will really happen at first but I'm willing to trust the process and for me to be comfortable with it, I choose American Eye Center. 

On my first check up, they did the usual test and the doctor find some issues because of my dry eyes that’s when she told me that I need to have drops for 2 weeks just to see improvements there is a 95% that I’m eligible for it but then that 5% is also a huge one if we are talking about eyesight. 

Returned after 2 weeks and there was improvement but she assured me that she wants to have that 100% so she make me returned after another 2 weeks with different drops this time. Probably there was some improvement but it was slow she make me returned after a month (March 10, 2020). 

Covid was already circulating that time and that was also the last time I was out in the city before the lockdown on March 15, 2020. 

Supposedly I should go back after 2 weeks but lockdown so, it was cancelled and it was not an emergency case, why do I need to be bothered about it although I really want it to be done but then, I have to wait. 

During lockdown, I’m glad that I found the drops on the drug store and I just continue to do it for the next months. The drops that I was prescribed was for dry eyes and during that time, I was able to observe my eyes more. Though there are times that I really do forgot but I always see them so I was able to be reminded. 

Fast forward on months where we are somehow being back to normal, I once again experience headache that might be related to my eye grade and I’m not game to spend maybe 10,000php for another set of glasses and good thing that American Eye Center is already open, I tried to book another appointment just to be sure if this is the right time for me because personally, I feel some improvement with my dry eyes issue. 

November 19,2020 was my schedule and I got my go signal. Continuing the drops during lockdown wasn’t bad after all 

Coordinating with the schedule of Dr. Sy, I decided to do it on December 1st. Why not welcome my favorite month with a bang. 

Everything went so fast on the day of surgery. Pre-op test were done in a snap then the next thing I know I was being prepared for the operation. 

The things you read are true, it was painless that you will never feel a thing but I felt that my heart almost jumped out of my chest then it was done. 

It was a little bit blurry at first but I was able to walk up to the parking and then we are back home. Ate snack before I locked myself in my room for recovery. I prepared everything already, cleaned my room, stock up water and prepare my playlist so I will just tell Alexa what to play. 

Your eyelid will force you to keep your eyes closed and sleep and that's the healing process. 

3 drops for the next few hours with 4 hours interval. 

Few hours later I can see the world without glasses. 

Although I may still need to use reading glasses after how many years but maybe as long as I will not be back on 400 eye grade, I think I’m fine. 

Went back to the clinic the next day for the follow up check up and I was good. 

Done with the 1 week check up and still good just need to stick on my drops for dry eyes but other than that, I’m really good. 

Thankful that I was able to do it before this year ends and despite of being in the middle of a pandemic, I felt safe during my check up and mostly during surgery day. Thankful for Dr. Sy and the staff that was helpful that day. 

As these times we are always on screen, limit your time with it. Control it. It will be a huge different if you lessen your screen time. 

If you have budget why not try to get check if you are eligible for the procedure it was really a life changer decision. You just need a few hours for check up then maybe 2-3 days rest including the surgery day itself. 

I’m still trying to convince my sister to do it as well.