Random . December 2014

Hello favorite month. 

What if we are protecting the people who don't want to be protected? Or maybe because they are not around most of the time that they don't see the transformation. 

At some point, I knew people who have the same perspective in life. Or maybe not. 

There's no bullshit there, I knew he will really ask about it. It feels weird to know someone is watching and he cares. Maybe it was just today. Tomorrow it will be different. What more if years passed. - 12.02.2014

I miss the friendship and I still cry about it. He was once my best friend. - 12.03.2014

Its hard to see both side then you will be so confused on so many things. At the end of the day I proved that "we can only save our own self" and I started to doubt everyone when I see differently to what they say every single fucking day. Its beyond confusing and forget the other stuff. I just want to get ink to feel that pain again so it will bring me back to reality. 

When you leave, it will be different again. I'm sick of it. This world is so cruel. 

Right. Too much drama. But what if I didn't chose to be involve but I was in it because of connections? I'm trying to figure it out myself. 

You don't know because you weren't there. You are not here, either. 

I'm a rebel-sensitive who will be forever stuck on figuring things out. I don't need to explain why this and that because you will never understand. 

People choose to see whatever they want to see. I don't even know if I should believe on the word "purpose" and I don't know if I have one. 

If you have reasons and you are looking forward to a specific event well, I'm not like you. Most of the time, I don't know what is exciting to wake up so early. Waking up late is better than never waking up at all and most people will argue if you stand to "there are morning and night people". They will never buy it. As in NEVER. 

Most days, I ask why this and that. I guess, there will be no answer to most of my questions. 

Maybe I'm not okay at all and I'm the most fucked up person you will meet. 

Fucked-up-rebel-sensitive-useless. Contradicting but seems appropriate.

One more tattoo before this year ends. I wish I wish. 

War for today is over and somehow, I feel good about it. Analyze? Analyze yourself first. Don't throw the p-word on my face because I'm using it every single fucking day and I'm tired watching people doing bullshit. 

I accept that you're not perfect as much as I understand this world is not so fucking perfect. I just chose to never say anything bad about you. I bet you'll be shocked. 

I'm not saving anyone. I'm just doing whatever I know I can do to shut your mouth. 

Oh. Look who's talking. Karma is a bitch, my friend. 

You saw me this time. It was crazy but I think I handled it well even though something inside me is on panic mode but it faded fast, fast enough that I was just thinking about it after hours. For the record, I saw you and then something snaps and someone told you that I passed by. Emotional attachment is fucking real. - 12.11.14

Am I really prepared for that close encounter? After today, I doubted my confidence but I knew compared to before, this time it was a less ache. I can't bring back yesterday by smashing my complaints into your face. Nothing will change. It will still be a rough road and I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm just missing the friendship. - 12.11.14

Maybe it was meant to happen. Same place, same time, unexpectedly but I know I handled it better than before. - 12.11.14 

If this life is a movie or a book, I bet I will see you again today. Unfortunately, this is reality. - 12.12.14 

Wow. Traffic is really insane. 

PVRIS is my current jam. 

When I saw that smile, I knew that so many things have changed and I'm really happy for you. That will do for now. Baby steps. - 12.15.14

After books, I'm here hooked up on new tv series. Thankful that I'm already done watching Monk and that last episode was bitter sweet. I discovered a full season 1,2,3 and a half of season 4 of Once Upon A Time when I copied movies from Nikka. And I don't know what was the trigger of trying Orange is the New Black but I'm almost done with season 1. I'm enjoying these new series its very different from crime series that I loved but there's something with these series that I can't explain. Mostly, it was all about life itself but Once Upon A Time was also exciting with all the connection of Snow White to Red Riding Hood, its like we need to know what was behind of the famous stories. Yes, my life is so exciting. Books. TV series. Photography. Movies. Sleep. Eat. Music. Repeat. 

I'm just done with Orange Is The New Black season 1 and wow. It reminds me that everything have a fucked up system and some of us want to have the good while some will be forever selfish. Reminds me to save my own ass every time and that sometimes, its better not to talk because it can get you to a lot of troubles. I'm thinking of re-watching every thing when I'm done with season 2 because I can relate to it most of the time. Uh oh. Piper lost all of it. We all have that moment but hopefully not to the extent that we will kill someone. 

Once Upon A Time is my company series every night and I'm almost done with season 1. Makes me amazed that every story that we read on books are all connected at some point. It doesn't make any sense but we can all imagine something out of the ordinary. Who can think that the Evil Queen from Snow White was the one behind on every disaster in a story? No one but the creator of Once Upon A Time. Love it. 

The feeling of being unwanted is never easy. I have to fight everything on my own. 

Too many familiar faces makes me dislike Ortigas area. #MANTRA !!!!!!!

Christmas will never be the same without our own santa. I miss you daddy, papa and ikong.

Birthday. 25 years. 25 years of a roller coaster ride. Thank you to everyone who remembered by heart and not by just some post or notification on facebook, thanks for the effort tho. Haha. I'm not a big fan of facebook and I think everyone should know it by now. Usually, I get emotional during my birthday but it was less emotional this year. People say make a wish and I can't think of any other thing than my usual #mantra and maybe someone who doesn't deserve all the walls that I built. Anyway, thank you again. - 12.27.14

When I connect the dots, everything is so messy and then I stopped believing on everything at the moment. Should I apologize for that or its just how life works? - 12.28.14

My facebook is exploding. Again, thank you to everyone who greeted me by seeing the post of my mom. 

Orphan Black is my new addiction. Remind me that we can only save our own self. 

Fiction series makes me question a lot of things and a lot of "what if....". 

If I'm going to choose one over movies or series, I'll choose series. Series because there's a lot to tell on series without a limit on time unlike the movies but it also depends on how long it will be on air but on series there are cookie cutter (the mid season finale and the season finale). The waiting game is insane. 

A little update on what I'm watching lately were; Jane The Virgin, How To Get Away With Murder, Orange is the New Black, Once Upon a Time, Orphan Black and of course; Bones, Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS New Orleans, The Mindy Project, New Girl and The Walking Dead. That's almost a long list. Hehe. Can you believe that I didn't realized that Matt McGorry was in OITNB and HTGAWM until I stalked his Instagram and Twitter. Hehe. I'm catching up to the new ones but I'm done with OITNB and I can't wait for season 3. I'm currently watching Once Upon a Time Season 3 and Orphan Black Season 2. I'll make sure that I'll be updated by the time they will be back on air next year. That explained why I have a lot of movies but I don't watch them ASAP maybe when the series will be on its summer break I'll do some movie marathon. 

Any series you recommend? 

Maybe its just me but Paul from Orphan Black can pass as Christian Grey. I think he fit the description on the book perfectly. 

Never saw that my Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve will be like this but yeah its fine as long as its for family.

I don't want to be a hero.

Last day of the year and for me it feels like its just a month end and tomorrow will be a new month. Nothing new.

Happy Last Day of 2014.

Happy GoPro

Too many life events from the past months that I wish I already have a GoPro but unfortunately, I have to wait and hopefully, there will be worth documenting on. When I got the GoPro mid November, my work life had been super busy. I tried in a couple of events but it just doesn't feel right to use it yet.

I got it at youpoundit because they gave a 1000 pesos off and I also got myself the 3-way just because I need it and I think I don't need any other monopod for it.

Thank you to youpoundit team and for delivering it personally. sorry if I haven't sent any feedback to you because of my busy work life but I'm happy with it. :)) THANK YOU!!! 

Hopefully, there will be an event where its worth it to be documented. Dang, if I have a car, I'll put one mount to it so I can document my road trip moments.

I can't wait to use it on something exciting and I'm still on the process of knowing it. Our status is still complicated. Haha

Happy Birthday to me!

On Repeat . PVRIS

White Noise by PVRIS

I started to listen to PVRIS when everyone on my timeline are talking about their music and White Noise wasn't even released by then it was just their Acoustic EP with 4 songs. I like it and I mix the 4 songs to my other playlists and then not until the 2nd week of December when I played it non-stop because of one unexpected event in my life. I don't know but it seems appropriate at that time. I don't know but it sounds like Versa, well not really but at some point it is because Blake produced it. I can't pick a favorite!!!

"But I wasn't compose broken bones and demon limbs" - Demon Limbs | PVRIS 

On Repeat . Maroon Swift

V by Maroon 5

1989 by Taylor Swift

Ever since "1989" came out, I listen to it for hours in a day together with "V". I started to be curious about Maroon 5 when I started to watch The Voice and I searched their latest album and boom, I like it. For me not to be bored on a single artist, I make sure that I'll mix it up with another so I'll hit 2 birds in 1 playlist.

I don't usually listen to this kind of music but as I said before, its part of growing up and maybe it includes the transformation of the artist as he/she makes music. And no regrets, its just experimenting just like how I experiment with my hair.

Give it a try if you haven't listen to any of the two albums. 

FYI, I'm a Girl . Last for 2014

I think I don't need to explain anything regarding to these expect that this are the things that I'm using lately and I love them.

As on typing this, I'm waiting in line to get home from a mall stroll with Gem and upon waiting for her earlier I drop by at NYX at Megamall. Dude! The girls are just discovering the brand and it was a bitter sweet moment because I've been in-love with it for a year and a half now. As if I don't know anything about it and the girl who was purchasing something was thinking what the fuck I'm doing there since I don't look like someone who loves make up when she doesn't know that I almost got 15 (or more) lipstick from NYX. Haha. And I even knew what was the shade she liked because I have that. Lol. Makes me think that those girls who get excited about a specific brand don't spend too much time online. Haha. One advantage of reading blogs and some other stuff and the power of online-browsing-shopping and youtube. Hahaha

Anyways, that's my rant.

(top to buttom) 

Chunky Dunk: Pomegranate Margarita, Caramel Martini; Simply Vamp: She Devil

Well, my NYX collection is getting bigger and its a bit cheaper than mall price when you get something online without the hassle and stuff. So girl, back off! And don't judge someone who was just wearing a short and a shirt and a sneakers. Hahaha.

Now, I can finally say that this will be the last batch of make up this year. Till next year's version of Fyi, I'm a girl.

Get something girly stuff for yourself this holiday season. :)

Merry Christmas! 

On Repeat . Tell Me It's Okay

Tell Me It's Okay by Paramore

Just another song that speaks for itself. It's been on repeat on my computer for 500x already not included the time I played it on my phone and on the iPad. (I'm not OA. I'm just telling the truth.)

Maybe its been years since I genuinely smiled

Maybe its been years since I wanted to be a part of anything

But lately I've been good you know I've actually been great

Man, I even laughed a little today, aw so strange, you're so strange

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now

Tell me its okay(x4)

Thought it as my right to be as sorry as I wanted to be

I wasted all my teenage years being a misery factory

But something had to give, I had to finally see the light

I think at 23 its time to practice what I preach

And what I preach is:

All my wasted hope, I let go when I should've held tighter

And now the sun out, I let it burn not afraid of feeling shine

On me

Tell me it's okay (x8)

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now

Tell me its okay to be happy now, my life is finally leveling out, so

Tell me its okay to be happy now, because I'm happy now

Tell me its okay to be happy now, my life is finally leveling out, so

Tell me its okay(x4)

Random . November 2014

What's the issue? YOU. 

Oh so I'm the next one? Okay, I'll piss your fucking ass. I'm such a rebel. 

You don't want to hear the things that I can say. And I need an audience, a lot of them. 

I guess, I need to prepare for a world war. 

I can't wait for the 23rd. 

TALK TO ME WHEN YOU'RE NOT STONED. 

Reminding myself that there are watchers. 

I can live without a phone. I don't like my blackberry to have bad vibes. 

So thankful for the lessons that I got from my favorite tv series. 

I'm so proud of myself handling all of these. 

That's an option but it's a selfish decision for now. 

Pico de loro was really a nice escape. 

First things first. Always. 

I can't believe that I'm not into rants for the past week. It was just a stress-free week. But tomorrow will be different. Hopefully, I'm prepared. 

I'm not into reading too. What's happening. 

At least, I will not feel so useless this week. I have a goal and its my top priority. Deal with your own bullshits while I'm doing my thing. 

Why will I need a planner for 2015? I don't even have a plan. Hahaha. You just have to go with the flow sometimes. 

"Lost the battle, win the war" - Now | Paramore

I haven't posted my Palawan trip. Maybe I can fix it later. - 11.13.14

We're doing selfish decisions without realizing the selfishness towards other people because we are happy. Maybe there is really a time to separate happy and sad thoughts. - 11.15.14

I'm reading a book now and its bitter-sweet because I realized the reason why I don't like to read. - 11.16.14

I'm not numb. Yes, there are reminders but ... Welcome to my reality, I guess. #sadtruth 

It feels good to finish a book again after almost 2 months and the reason why I'm not into it for the past month was I'm trying to avoid to feel the ache in my heart. It reminds me that I'm not numb after all it also reminds me of that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. For my own situation, I don't know when will I see the light at the end of this long tunnel-journey. #UglyLove

I personally believe that my love story is written somewhere and we will have everything at the right time. I just don't like to feel that I'm running out of time which I'm aware of when someone close to my age got married, got pregnant and some of them have families of their own and the worst is when someone ask me if I have a boyfriend or when will I get married. If Miles interval from the past was 6 years, how long is my own interval from the past? Its been 7 years now to date. #UglyLove

I want to have a parter-in-crime, a (I really don't like using the word "best friend" but I'll use it anyway) best friend, a guy who will fight for me, who will comfort me, who will always be there no matter what. I just want to feel love again in a not-family-related-way-of-speaking. My "love happens all the time" tattoo is a reminder everyday despite of losing hope most nights. 

Sometimes, we have to sacrifice for our own happiness but what's the probability that we will get our own soon? Well, I guess we shouldn't expect anything in return. (This is nonsense but I don't like to delete it) 

If we need to correct something it doesn't mean we need to hurt somebody along the way. 

Its all go down to RESPECT. Respecting other people no matter what's your position and profession, treat other people with respect even you don't like a lot of people. 

It doesn't hurt much anymore. I guess, no matter where we were, we should not forget what we had along the way. Its not so bad to look back once. 

There will always be another side.

Too impatient. At some point I can see why it ended. Same personality all with the same shits and I can see the common ground. 

A heart fulfilled with memory will never forget. 

I don't need a permission from anyone so I'll just handle this on my own. I replied because I'm a grown up now and hopefully, its not bullshit after all. Or else I'm going to tell you, "WTF" or "that's bullshit" and I don't like it but somehow I want too. Haha. 

If I wanted to go back to that lifestyle I probably went back to it years ago not after 10 years most especially not after I met my ex-best friend. 

The movie "If I Stay" was amazing but I didn't felt the same feelings that I got when I was reading the book and of course, there were changes. 

Appreciate someone today. :)

I replied because I'm a grown up now. 10 years ago is 10 years ago, you can't change or go back to what happened within those years. The lesson is, make the right decision think about it gazillion times so you will not regret it sooner or later. - 11.21.2014

I learned the hard way. 

Shopping online is my favorite but the waiting game is not. 

I'm really not fan of uploading ASAP. Well, it also depends on my mood. 

This and that. Why they don't. Blah blah blah. I'm aware and I don't care. 

Trying to figure out how to fix my schedule for the week. :|

Nothing can beat a water proof, dust proof camera. That's why I love my TX5. 

I'm not a huge fan of technology because I'm a bit fan of "old school" vibe.

I just read a story that reminds me of why this and that is happening started a month ago and I know and knew that I was and I am doing the right thing. All we need is to move forward. And I like to thank Molly McAdams for the reminders through her stories. Love that woman. #LettingGo 

Past is past. As cliche as it is we have to be reminded every now and then. Whether it was the most perfect times of your life or not, either way you can't go back and you can't bring that to the present. All you have to do is move forward, there will be bad days but that doesn't mean we have to step back much further than where we are now. We don't have the rewind, previous, repeat button in real life neither the fast forward, pause and most especially the stop button. All we have to do is play each day like it was our last day, treat it just how you wanted it to be. One day, we might look back and think if we have list of regrets and if you can't think of anything; that will be the best feeling. We didn't regret anything means we welcome everything in our life even the bullshit part of it. #LettingGo 

Expectation vs. Reality. Good thing there's an alternative. 

I was reading some of my previous posts here and I can't imagine how dramatic I was a year ago. I was a bit embarrass because I really don't proof read and still, excitement over grammar. Hahaha. I even typed DLSR instead of DSLR. 

Last year, I learned how to drive and still don't have a permission. #mantra 

When you expect that your week will be like this and that but then weekend is here again and everything turns out differently. It was a good though. 

Ahhh. So thankful for a tiring yesterday that I overslept today. 

I can't avoid for my entire existence but I'm willing to use my ninja moves to avoid you most times. That was the effect/result of your behavior towards me and to the important people around. 

I saw the before, the now and I can't imagine the after effect. For sure that will be insanely 30% good and a 70% bad but you can prove me wrong the same way we can prove you wrong. 

I can watch NCIS all day. 

Photography is addicting! I'm eyeing that 24mm pancake and the nifty-fifty is still on the list! As if I'm always out to shoot. Haha. 

"Don't depend on the past, don't avoid the present and don't overthink the future."

Palawan . Day 4 | Last Day

It was a Sunday. It was a super long day for me. 

I can't believe that it was already time to go back to reality. 

Oh wait before going to the airport, we went to PWRCC ....

where I met new friends ... 

Sadly, Tisoy the bearcat died last October due to infection ... 

don't leave without a picture with a crocodile! :))

It was an amazing trip. 

I was so sad but thankfully there were clouds to witness this time unlike on our way to Palawan.

Gem and I are not talking at all because we didn't ate breakfast so we were forced to buy something on the plane which cost 10x than the original because we are thousands of feet above the sea and some island. 

And after 40 minutes, we're back in Manila. Can't wait to see the family but its also time to go back to reality. 

I will never get tired of saying that it was an amazing trip and so thankful to Gem and of course to her mom and dad for adopting me. Oh and for JV!

Hopefully, next year again (with Keith) or Boracay but they already want outside the country. WHAAAAAAAT. HAHAHA

SHHHHH. don't talk traveling to Gem and Kit because you will talk about Philippines and then Asia and then the US. HAHAHA. Maybe the moon is on the list too. Hahaha. I love my friends. 

Traveling is so lovely because for a few days you will escape the usual routine and then going home will be bitter sweet because its back to the routine again.

My Photographs: Palawan

Appreciate what you witness on the other places because some people just take it for granted. - AEivrynRV

Palawan . Day 3

Our Palawan trip was jam packed since we are just there for a few days. Due to some (un)expected things, Gem convinced me that if we're in Palawan or at least me that I should experience El Nido and the Underground River. We started our last day a bit late because all of us are still tired from the drive from El Nido the day before most especially Gem's brother and he will still our designated driver on this trip to Underground River. We ate lunch first then we headed to our boat that will take us to the other side of the island where the Underground River was located. Gem's mother advised us that there are monkeys who are stealing stuff so we left almost everything in the car and we just brought our cameras so when we realized we somehow need money for our picture from the Underground, it was already late. Maybe we can do it again next time. Haha

Underground was amazing. We had a funny tour guide who jokes a lot and I can't pull out those joke here so visit them so you will know it. Haha. I believe it was one of the things I can't share with you. 

Its almost hard to believe that everything inside was all nature and the tour guide just use their imagination to give description to almost everything that was formed there. It was amazing and be sure to pay a visit there if you're in Palawan its worth it, at least see a different world inside a cave and appreciate nature.

I think it took us 2 hours there I'm not sure because (as always) I wasn't paying attention to time unless its a basketball game. Lol

After Underground River we went to Mitra Ranch and to Bakers Hill where I purchased some pasalubong but since I don't know who to give pasalubongs, I fail in that department as always because you know, its not just to mom and sis it will be to the whole family. Haha. 

~~~

Early that day, we already visit Crocodile Farm and saw some crocodile cuties. Hehe. I met a one day old crocodile which I'll give permission to name after me because he was too comfortable in my hands that he decided to poop while they picture my moment holding him (I really don't know if that's a boy or girl). Lol. 

We didn't saw Surigao the biggest in the center but we saw Julio and he was terrifying because he's huge. I really want to observe them. Next time we will be there for the whole day. Haha. Can't wait! 

After the trip to the Underground, Mitra and to Bakers Hill we went back to Crocodile Farm for an advance birthday celebration of Gem. When we're on our way to Mitra Gem mentioned that UE was leading against NU and I was back from dreamland. We were refreshing twitter every second but unfortunately the signal was busted. Good thing someone mentioned there's a TV on the guard house and we literally ran outside to witness the last seconds of the game. NU won that game. 

The dinner birthday for Gem was unexpected. Haha. Her picture was on a projector! Haha. And there were Lechon, Crocodile Sisig, Suran and a lot more. 

When we got back to their place, its time to pack. :(

My Photographs: Palawan

Palawan . Day 2

Alarm is banging at 3am and then Gem woke me up as if it was a halftime of a basketball game. 

We left for El Nido at 4am. 

It was a good 6 hours drive from Puerto Princesa to El Nido and another 6 hours from El Nido to Puerto Princesa. The road trip was fun because most of the time, Gem and I was asleep or it was just me. Hehe

When we arrived in El Nido, I checked Twitter and boom typhoon Mario was doing his job and in just a snap most places in Manila, Quezon City and near provinces are flooded. First, its weird to watch and hear the news when I'm being far from Manila or to my hometown but good thing schools and universities suspend classes early so I don't need to worry about my sister.

~

It was raining in El Nido so island hopping was prohibited because of the current but after lunch time the skies somehow parted, there was a bit of sunshine and no more dark clouds so we were able to go to two islands. Yes, I have a reason why I need to go back to El Nido!

When we were on the boat, no one was talking as if we are all lost on our own thoughts and I was trying to remember everything I'm experiencing right at that moment that I don't see or do in my daily routine. I hope people from El Nido don't take that for granted, that place was amazingly beautiful. What more if I witnessed sunset in there. Every time that I go on a trip, there's always no sunset. Just like when we were in Boracay (2011) it was raining in July. Goal: to capture a beautiful Boracay and El Nido sunset. 

But Gem can't sleep when on our way back to Puerto Princesa because she was keeping our driver (her brother, JV) awake. If only I knew the way maybe I will volunteer to drive but their father was with us too to relieve JV and I know they will not allow me either so I just slept the whole ride back to Puerto Princesa. Hehe then we had Chaolong when we arrived at Puerto Princesa before going home. 

I didn't hold my camera most of the time in El Nido because it was raining but the memories will always be in my heart. 

Its been a week now after that El Nido trip and I'm missing the place so bad! - 09.26.14

DSLR are heavy but I don't like memories to be in a crappy picture just what I have on my iPad. To be honest, using a prime is challenging too. I just bought my 40mm just because what more if it was a 50mm? I'm still planning to buy a nifty-fifty. I also bought my TX5 but she had a seizure when we arrived in El Nido so she was suffering epilepsy since then. I'm planning to buy a GoPro hopefully on December so it will be a good replacement for my TX5. I'm so out of topic right now. I'll continue day 3 maybe tomorrow or the next day.

this was typed almost 2 months ago ... posting late is my forte at some point. lol but seriously, I'll post day 3 and 4 tomorrow or the next day. One post at a time.

My Photographs: Palawan

"I know places we can hide" - I Know Places | Taylor Swift

Palawan . Day 1

Too many first on this trip. We actually planned this trip last year but I don't know why it didn't happen. Haha. January this year, we grab the opportunity to book our trip and save until September and now our trip is over.

Our flight was scheduled at 1550 but of course it got delayed for a good 30 minutes and then our gate changed too. But spending 2 hours of waiting with Gem and Lhea will never be boring what more else this trip. We left Manila on a Thursday afternoon and we left Palawan Sunday noon and I felt that the trip was cut short. I was falling in love with the place. 

It was already late when we arrived so first on the list for that night, dinner at Badjao Seafront. We waited for Gem's mom, dad and brother there since they weren't able to pick us up. We even walked a few to see the beautiful street lights. 

Dinner was good and I assume the view of the sea will be amazing too if we witnessed that.

no food pics because we are all starving. hahaha 

Then sleeping time because we will be leaving for El Nido at 4am.

This trip was already over so my bad if I used a past tense or a present tense as if I'm telling you a story. 

My Photographs: Palawan

There's always another side - AEivrynRV

On Repeat . Lost Stars

Lost Stars by Adam Levine

I've been watching The Voice Season 7 ever since it started because there's no nice show on a Sunday so it was my weekly habit. Upon watching regularly, I'm now having a bit crush on Pharrell and it's amazing to see the different side of Gwen and of course the Adam-Blake-tandem. 

I listen to some particular artist but as part of growing up, I do listen now to almost everything and I'm giving some mainstream music a try. I try to listen to Maroon 5 for a week now and today I don't know how many times I played "Lost Stars". 

This is just one song that totally speaks for itself. We all undergo with finding our meaning in life or in a specific situation. It's like mid-life crisis but it should remind us that all of us have to experience the ups and downs of life or else we are not human anymore.

 Once in our life, we are all lost stars and eventually, we will find our meaning just keep on searching. Don't give up.

Please don't see
Just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me
Reaching out for someone I can't see

Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand
I'll be damned, Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears

And God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Who are we?
Just a speck of dust within the galaxy?
Woe is me
If we're not careful turns into reality

But don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears

And God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
We're searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

and I thought I saw you out there crying
and I thought I heard you call my name
and I thought I heard you out there crying
But just the same

And God, give us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and this lamb is on the run
searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

And I thought I saw you out there crying
And I thought I heard you call my name
And I thought I heard you out there crying
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?
Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Random . October 2014

What a first day of October. FEU IS BACK TO THE UAAP FINALS AFTER WINNING AGAINST LA SALLE WHILE NU WON AGAINST ATENEO!!!!! - 10.01.14

Nobody was talking about FEU and NU for almost the whole season and here we are in the UAAP Finals. Sweetest win ever and that was so far the best FEU crowd after beating Adamson twice last 2011. - 10.01.14

Seriously, collect your own shits. 

So sad and it makes me angry that people are so selfish. 

Wherever, whenever please respect other people and their feelings. 

Please don't give up. We got this. I can't do this alone. 

Nakakamiss mag drive. #mantra 

The perks of being a passenger, I can sleep. #mantra

Some people die alone while some have someone but you're lucky if you have a family and friends. Appreciate someone today or better if you appreciate everyone around you. Don't take them for granted. (Inspired by Criminal Minds S10E02)

Giving up something for someone. Make the right choice.  

Why holding up on the things I said 10 years ago? I'm not the same person as I was 14. Probably you're missing the person I was but believe me it wasn't the present me that you wanted to fix things up. - 101014

Everyone around me is acting stupid. What is happening? Oh wait most of them have it ever since. 

The unprofessional move you just made fed my ego so well.  

This 1:1 ticket selling is pissing me off so hard. And with this situation I'm hoping for a very good in-favor-of-us result. 

I want to rant about this and that but I'm having panic attack. I want to cry. We really should win tomorrow. Please. :( - 101415

"I lost respect to the people who disrespect me before" written 3 years ago and still applies to the same people. 

I really want to post some rant regarding with this bullshit but it feels like I just want to punch or smash someone right now with bare hands. Tyreese style. 

What's with October? Before when it comes to August, September and October, people are leaving and now they're back in every weird situation. Are they part of The Walking Dead now? Because TWD is the only thing that I expected this October since the season 4 finale. So weird.  

Oh wait. I'm praying for a championship right now. #UAAP - 101415

After you consume my thoughts all afternoon, I feel empty. Why. - 101414 #17

Times like this, I wish I can drive a little further. #mantra. 

I don't need to pretend to be someone else because he's one of the people who know the real me. #17

Can someone take me away from this? It just going back to the past that I thought is over. #17

IT WILL BE THE WORST NIGHTMARE OF MY LIFE IF WE CAN'T WATCH LIVE. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW. - 101514

TANGINA. WE'VE BEEN SUPPORTING FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT AND I NEVER SAW THIS COMING. THIS 1:1 TICKET IS SO FUCKING STUPID. - 101514

TANGINA TALAGA. I DON'T WANT TO END UP ON 'PLAN D' WHICH IS WATCH AT KITs PLACE. 

NU won but no bitterness. They deserve it. #MightyHeart 

6 months and still counting. #mantra

I'm done waiting years ago but to be honest, I'm terrified that I'm going to have an emotional breakdown. If ever we are going on that path, hopefully not.  #17

I still believe in "Emotional Attachment". 

I wish I'm so brave just like the others. So I will not worry about my breakdown moments. 

I think I need a new reminder-tattoo. 

Anything to look forward after dealing with some close-minded people? I can't think of any but I want to drive without planning where to go. I wish I can do this. Sigh. 

You're done with one. Are you going to hit all of us now? You think you're a super hero that can do whatever dozen of people can do all at once? Think again. 

I want to go on a different way, I know its never too late but where to start and the competition is so tight. 

Where's the happy times go? I feel so shattered right now. 

Thanks for my favorite series for bringing me back to earth. Soon it will be books. 

I don't like talking to a person who is stoned. 

Hahaha. Girl power! 

Can't you see? That's a huge sign that you are such a big (insert rude word here). 

After basketball posts, its time for Palawan trip. I'm missing Palawan so much. 

I'm against on wearing a mask in front of other people but its different when you're protecting the close ones we got. 

I can't explain this anger. Is it getting out of control? 

I want to read a book or shift my thoughts to something.  

Is it okay to let other people do whatever they want even it hurt so bad? How to prevent them? What am I going to do? 

I really want to ....... drive, much further on. 

After 2 hours I'm doing better. So much love for basketball and I'm missing it so bad. Hopefully, one or two PBA game this month or early November. 

Today is a reminder of what it feels to see the sunrise. Sadly my to-do-list are mostly during afternoon to midnight. 

With my reflecting moment today, I realized that I almost lost my dad 5 or 6 years younger than I was 3 years ago. 

Somebody wants to be a hero. Smh. 

You can't take back anything you said but we're going to prove you wrong. Let's see who will be the loser at the end. 

Can't say no to an 'impromptu trip'. 

Packing lite was a challenge but my trip to Palawan last month taught me that it was easy. 

It was so good to have that overnight stay with cousins. It was refreshing but as soon as we get closer to home, reality hits. 

As much as I'm so pissed with this situation, I'm also trying to be nice. BITCH MODE. 

Bring it on, November.

There's nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. - Jean Baudrillard | Criminal Minds S10E05

FYI, I'm a Girl . Butter and Matte Lipsticks

There's no need to mention that NYX is my most favorite brand when it comes to lipsticks just because its so hard to look for a so-good matte finish lipstick in a cheaper price and a cruelty-free product. 

At this post, I mentioned that I don't recommend Butter lipsticks but I posted this because before we judge or write a review about a product be sure that you used it more than once. 

For the past month, I'm a bit tired of pink, orange and red shades and as a reward for some-fucked-up-days (even this are purchased before the Palawan trip), I added some lipsticks to my collection that I've been eyeing ever since. 

(L-R) Licorice, Hunk, Pops, Siren and Aria

I don't think I need to explain a bunch and oh my I don't have swatches to upload!!!! Hahaha!

I drive around the block and I'm not looking to my right

I feel the glass against my cheek and I can't see you in the light

I break my heart around this, break my heart around this pole

Break Your Life Down | Tegan and Sara

UAAP S77 . Finals

Game 1 - MOA Arena - October 4, 2014

credit to the owner of this photo

NU never won against FEU during the elimination so facing each other again is pretty interesting because after playing against ADMU and DLSU during the playoffs and semis, its time to adjust again. 

We won. And we started to feel the 20th championship but maybe it was not our time yet. 

Game 2 - Araneta - October 8, 2014

Being one step behind the championship, the players and us (fans/supporters) might be comfortable with the advantage. I bought tickets online and luckily I got patron tickets and it was 1:4. It was our first time to purchase a ticket more than 350 pesos. It may be the last game why not give it all right.

 Our seats was the best seat but then we didn't win. NU bounced back so hard. They are so hungry for their 2nd championship after 60 years. 

They won. Series was tied at 1-1. We broke a crowd record with 24,896 attendance that ball game alone where we beat the record of one of the San Mig semis/finals game earlier this year. It felt good because people said that this UAAP Finals will never get an audience. After that game, we are all looking for those who said that no one will watch it.

Hello to the former players!! It's so nice to see them supporting FEU. 

credit to the owner of the picture in the middle

credit to the owner of this photo

Game 3 - Araneta - October 15, 2014

One week break. One week of hunting a patron seats again but the 1:1 ticket selling was the most insane thing ever. It was our first time to line up for a UAAP game for hours. I was pissed the whole time because of it but I was trying my best to hide it. I don't want to rant about it because I'm still looking forward to a positive outcome.

But the signs were there, I don't want to entertain it but everything are pointed that way. We knew NU will be the champions. Believe it or not we saw it coming and we are just waiting for it to happen. But that doesn't mean that I don't believe in our team. I was still holding on a thread until I heard the final buzzer. 

No matter what happen we were already part of history. Both teams played 20 games this season, we won against DLSU and ADMU to be in the finals and both team were underdogs. We were there when NU won its 2nd championship after 60 years with 25,118 crowd (yes, we just broke our Game 2 crowd record). 

It wasn't painful unlike 2011 finals but ever since Belo hit that buzzer beater last October 1st, we were so happy and we already accepted that our team can be champions or not. 

So its so funny when most of the people around me were the one who were so angry or bitter to what happened. I shred a tear but that's it. We laugh so hard after the game and we did a mini party outside Araneta. It was a good game and I can't freaking wait for season 78. It was truly an unexpected season where you can't guess who will win in a specific game unlike before. Who would have thought that FEU and NU will be in the Finals and NU, of course grabbed their 2nd championship.

photo from fullcourtfresh (taken during Game 2)

At the end of the day, its still a basketball game, one will win and the other will lose. 

To the graduating players on every team, do what you know is best for you. Basketball doesn't stop here. 

To the players who still have remaining playing years, it can be a year or two but please think about it gazillion times if you wanted to go pro. Some players regret not being able to maximize their playing year in the "best" basketball league in the country. Its still up to you because we are just here to at least give an advice. 

You can't rewind time, you can't go back to this year after 10 years. Think wisely so you will never regret a single decision.

See you all again next season UAAP basketball fans. Oh wait there's Volleyball next month!

Oh its PBA time again!!!!! :) 

My Photographs: UAAP