Random . September 2020

 

I’m being so anxious knowing that it is already ber- month and we are still like this. 

Manner. 

I was pressured even I wasn’t being pressured. That’s why I know I don’t need to do something I’m not into. 

600 words are better than nothing. 

Since I’m not into watching lately, hopefully I will be able to read soon.

Weird dreams but somehow I like it. 

Can’t stop opening Instagram. 

Theres too much time to reflect. 

I guess we are going back to the usual normal. 

I hate using ball pens 

Is it still valid to feel bad for some action that I regret 12 years ago?

I miss you everyday, Papa. 09.11.2020

Too much anxiety 

I hope it is easy to build something as much as it is easy to destroy things. 

Trying to figure out my impromptu schedule for a busy weekend. 

As much as I’m scared, I have to deal one day at a time. #21 

Social media detox. 

This is a different level of frustration 

I don’t want to overthink things but there will always be the fear of the unknown. 

Why do I keep on hearing sad songs. 

Whether we are ready or not, it will really affect the people we will left behind. 

You don’t need tears of other people to know your worth. 

My song choices will be so weird for you. 

When you forgot to take extra precautions. I’m the greatest silent eavesdropper. 

That was a good tech distraction. #AppleEvent 

My heart is so happy to be back in Cubao.

It was just yesterday when we were in Cubao but it feels like forever ago already.

It was possible to be silent and a little bit quiet was nice. I'm asking myself on how long it will be. Lol

Bleached my hair just because I'm bored. 

Because of a throwback photo, I ended up with 2 hours video call with the Chikababes. No regrets. That was 2 hours of sanity.

Bleached my hair without the colors that I wanted so I ordered some hair dye. Excuse my bleach hair for a moment.

Everyone is hating me because I hate noisy people. 

It isn't a healthy competition anymore. Why waste time about it and this current reality should wake you up.

Let’s try to catch up on my TV series.

And just like that I’m almost done with #TheBlacklist

“Sometimes there’s no choice” - Raymond Reddington #TheBlacklist S07E18

Will there be any chance that Samsung will make a cheaper S10e style

I'm done with #TheBlacklist and that last episode is so good and glad that they were able to finish that. It was always so good to see that group. 

New series, #Ratched.

Dentist . 

One day, people will just forget how cautious they are today. 

It Will be October in a few days. What?! How come we are still like this. This year totally taken away from us.

So good to validate on myself that there are things that people don't know that I do.

I usually bake for the people at home and there are two outcomes; 1)if it’s really good it will be gone instantly and 2) it’s not good at all. Haha

So you have time to binge watch tv series or whatever you watch, why not give time to learn how to do stuff that you really need to know online. People who doesn’t give time to important stuff to learn but have more time to browse Facebook and watch series for hours. 

When they see Facebook as a threat. Lol. Kindly address the real problems here, sir.

Thankful for some extra days before deadlines. 

Writing “October” scares me somehow.

On Repeat . Chromatica

Chromatica by Lady Gaga 

On Repeat . Westlife

Probably the first band that I've been addicted to. I can still remember those days on the old house of my grandparents when we all love Westlife. 

I was able to see them in Manila as my maybe first ever concert in 2001 which I can't honestly remember. I was 10 years old. 

I don't know why but I'm recently just listening to "This Is _____ " on Spotify since it is easy to command my Echo Dot when I need some songs to play in the background with random artists.

As a throwback, I listen to them.

I honestly stopped listening to Westlife for so long now but dang their songs are still my jam that I still know by heart some lyrics but I honestly lost track with them through the years.

Maybe next time will be A1. 

Love this guys so much. They made me started with my love for music. 

Please don't ask me what is my favorite Westlife song. haha 

A Different Vibe

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Aivrin Villamayor (@aeivryn) on Sep 18, 2020 at 8:51am PDT

My heart is so satisfied. 

My last post was about missing a lot of things for me being so exhausted at home town. 

I was able to be back at home court and it feel so good. 

Not gonna lie but as it was so satisfying, you can’t deny that something was missing as well. 

Just being there and breathing that Cubao air and as OA as it is, I felt a hug when I went down the car. 

I’m home. 

I feel like crying but I was smiling from ear to ear under my face mask and face shield. 

Typical weekend at home court is a busy one, people just passing by to get home or to that fast food chain to hang out with friends. Some meet for that road trip to the north for a weekend in Baguio or La Union. Usually at this time of the year, there are people having dinner or drinks wearing their university shirt who just watched a very intense game of UAAP. Sometimes there are concerts. 

That Starbucks on Green Gate will be so full of people. KFC, Bonchon and Mcdo doesn’t have any seats available as it is so full as well. 

Where me and my friends will be on the hunt of a place that have available table to eat. 

I miss that kind of weekend. 

Earlier it was the same place, same feeling but different vibe. 

It was so satisfying to be there once again but it feels like it was a Sunday morning or a very late 1am of a weekday as there are only few people. 

It was also the first time where I went to the mall and shop a little bit for some retail therapy and a little bit of grocery shopping as well that can’t be find here in SM. 

I’m tired but I’m happy and I feel so renewed. 

I also need another one soon but this will do for now. 

And I still miss that jeep trip. 

09.18.2020 01:14 

Missing

 

I’m so bummed that it is already ber-month and we are still like this. I can’t even remember how early of this year feels like or even just the normality. 

Early this “quarantine” I already accepted that we all needed some break from normalcy just to give some attention to what was usually taken for granted. It’s been months with no major changes, no concrete plans on how to handle such situation and as they are selfish as they are, I’m already lost in this kind of reality. 

I look back on what really happened in my last 6 months and starting to compare it if ever life went by with the life we’re used to. 

6 months and counting was and will still be somehow taken away from all of us. My plan for this year was, meet Lhea late March and have a nice La Union trip before she leave. Travel with Gem to another foreign country for the first time. Maybe I will finally do another solo trip. Watch concerts. Wait for new concerts in Manila or somewhere in Asia just to find a way to travel. Go back to Taiwan because I really love there. The rest of the time will be staying in before traveling again. Maybe I was able to visit extend family as well. Maybe accomplished my 2020 goal. 

What really happened, staying in for 6 months and maybe for the rest of the year, was able to spent time with family. Enjoying grocery trip, getting used on wearing mask and now face shield in public which I still find awkward but every one is required to. 

I miss impromptu meet up with friends. Staying in home court until midnight and enjoy the midnight jeep trip. 

I miss observing people in public places. 

I miss commuting. Jeep trip, bus and train rides. 

I miss going to MOA from hometown just to meet Gem. 

I wish we were able to meet up as soon as possible when Keith needed us. 

This is why I go out from hometown once in a while before. Staying in is also so exhausting at times. I’m a home buddy but if it’s too much I also want to explore somewhere then just go back at the end of the day. 

I never taken my city travel for granted that’s for sure. 

I never taking being at home for granted as well. 

It’s just that this pandemic and current reality is so exhausting. 

Though I’m thankful for this current time where we can talk on social media, still do virtual hang out with friends but of course we all know the difference. 

Some things are just unacceptable for the past months and I guess we just have to accept that. 

Few things I hate during this time are people who doesn’t have an inch on consideration in life. Before we don’t know if a person is going through something personal but compare to now, we are in a middle of pandemic with no concrete plans on what to do, people lost their jobs because of selfishness and most of us are adjusting with this kind of life. Survival it is and I get it you do your job to get paid and think of your family but there’s more beyond that. I’ve seen people who gives and I’ve seen people who are selfish. Some people ask for help but if you ever asked please don’t expect too much in return, we are all being affected by this. 

This is really life changing situation which can affect future growth and personal decisions. 

Never aware this kind of event happened before and now we are living in it and hopefully we will still survive this time. 

Hopeful to be able to travel again soon, not wearing of mask in public and face shield. 

I wish it was easy to have that lunch or dinner date. 

I miss the usual.

09.04.2020 / 02:09

Random . August 2020

Starting this month with #TheUmbrellaAcademy

This virus is doing beyond what it can do to our body. It also affects our emotions and mentality. 

When people are slowly trying to get back to the usual normal, we somehow get lockdown again. 

Poor decision making. 

“Some people’s pain never stops”. SWAT S03E03

People are going back to the usual normal that I, myself can’t catch up anymore and I think the MECQ is much needed than nothing while the number is rising so fast. 

I don’t have time for a guessing game. 

As much as everything is so frustrating right now, I’m trying my very best not to panic. 

Some people will never appreciate small things that you do when actually it will take a huge effect. 

Not surprised. Seems like we are all aware of it but the rest doesn’t. It’s out now. Good luck to all of us. 

I guess some people really don’t know when to shut up

If you don’t want to go to work then resign. 

In this kind of situation that we are all in for your own sake, fucking choose the joke to tell and stop the inappropriate actions. 

I really wish that I was able to accomplish my 2020 goal within the first 2 months of this year but I guess, it still need some time. #2020goal

9 years. #daddy

Oh no. Let’s not go there. Stop comparing yourself to mine. Totally different level. 

It is easy to copy but you will never afford to be me. 

I’m not as noisy s you are but that doesn’t mean that I’m not thinking about other people. 

Don’t ever think that I’m not being cautious when I’m out. I’m living with seniors so be careful in your judgement. 

Reminder: when it comes to me, “what you see is what you get” doesn’t apply.

For some they don’t know the real struggle. 

I need this meds to kick in faster. 

How can these people still do shit? Aren’t they aware that people are starting to hate this government?

I’m discovering new songs by artist I like through Spotify. Cool. I know I’m late to the party. 

Check your fucking sources. 

Not having internet is one major problem if you got smart plugs and light. 

I find comfort on UAAP basketball replay. 

Can’t really keep up on listening to so much podcasts

I'm not sure with everything that you do but one thing I'm very sure of ever since, you mostly mishandle everything. 

I was almost thinking of giving you another chance but you remind me of something I don't like about you.

If the real people who are affected will talk, will you listen? I bet not.

When it's a little too late to alter things. 

People who lie will make sure that they already mention it so you will never ask them about it again. 

As a parent, there should be boundaries with your own kids. there are things that you shouldn't be telling them but you should also make them know the real life struggle. 

This is why I'm not having a drink or don't drink as my past time. It's because it plays a huge impact with my mental health and emotions. 

There's just too much in my head that I can't be distracted

With all the words that you say, how many of them is the truth? Or maybe there's none.

Surprised? lol 

Even you don't know who's watching, be careful with everything that you do or say. Fucking act the right way.

Thank you Mame for all the smile. 08.24.2020

Happy 18th Birthday to Vapps. <3

It was a busy week and life will continue to be so busy for the rest of the year. 

How come it's already Ber months. 

There are certain topics where you shouldn't be too loud about.

On Repeat . Rainbow Connection

Rainbow Connection by Weezer featuring Hayley Williams

Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,

And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told and some choose to believe it

I know they're wrong, wait and see

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish would be heard

And answered when wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that and someone believed it

Look what it's done so far

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing

And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

All of us under its spell

We know that it's probably magic

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

I've heard them calling my name

Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors

The voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it

It's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

 

On Repeat . Fallen

Fallen by Death In The Park featuring Hayley Williams

Oooh Oooh Oooh

Love letters written in lipstick.

The case is closed and I'm covered in your fingerprints.

Lay right here with me tonight.

The sun is coming up, I've got a perfect view.

I've got the day planned out, even thought it through.

Oh, baby, teach me something I never knew.

Like a diamond in the rough, I'll shine for you.

And I'll chase you into the dark

With such grace

It's never been this hard.

I've never fallen.

I've never fallen faster.

And I'll chase you into the dark (And I believe it, )

With such grace(Is it true? Cause if you mean it...)

It's never been this hard.

I've never fallen.

I've never fallen faster.

Oooh Oooh Oooh

Let's hit the town, parade every avenue.

Let's burn it down, forget all we ever knew.

Let's flee from these city lights,

Under cover, out of sight, and out of mind

Where I can give you all of my time.

Oh, baby, teach me something I never knew.

Like a diamond in the rough, I'll shine for you.

And I'll chase you into the dark

With such grace

It's never been this hard.

I've never fallen.

I've never fallen faster.

And I'll chase you into the dark (And I believe it,

With such grace(Is it true? Cause if you mean it...)

It's never been this hard.

I've never fallen.

I've never fallen faster.

Oooh Oooh Oooh