Random . December 2019

December!!!! 

Daddy!!!! :( #justadream 

Favorite month but seems just normal. 

Online shops leave me alone!!!! Haha 

Still craving that Macao Milk Tea and Pepperoni Pizza from SnR

Feels like I’m traumatized with the book last month. Lol. Jk. Been catching up on series from the first half of HTGAWM to the half of TWD to the season 9 of AHS.

I’m not sure when will I feel the Christmas spirit but I’m thankful for people who are making effort on decorating. Maybe I’ll feel it soon. 

Busy week is almost over. 

Sorry people my minimalism and practicality is affecting people. Haha 

Looks like it was a success, on to the next. 

Thankful for little things that reminds me of living life. 

Even it’s just for fun, you did just introduced yourself to people. 

I really do miss you. 

After months, home town friends unite. 

Macao Milk Tea - ✔️

SnR Pizza - ✔️

Back on busy days. 

We can laugh on jokes but fucking know the boundaries. 

Whoever thought that end of the year is fun, well it’s not. 

Maybe this part wasn’t the very well thought of. 

I still choose the busy days than year-end travel chaos. 

I should really start to read the book for this month than just scrolling online stores and the newsfeed. 

Joker was a little bit disturbing but mostly sad. 

Weekend rest before another busy week. 

Daddy. #anotherdream 

Lets just keep that at bay. I will can never imagine where will my frustrations take me if such encounter. 

Maybe I’m a grinch or maybe it just feels a normal day. 

Merry Christmas. 

Whoa. Another tattoo courtesy as a gift from my brother! Yay. 

I believe in the power of prayer and hopefully everything will be okay. 

I know that that rejecting all the feelings and emotions for the past months will be resulting to a day or two breakdowns. Happy birthday, self. 

Early-work-alarm on a day that I just want to procrastinate. 

Chill night with hometown friends. Happy birthday to us, Nikka. 

I really hope you are okay. #21 1228

14th and a little retouch before the year ends. 

Glad to hear an update from you and to know that you are okay. #21 1229

29 going on 30

I’m not sure if I want to do this as a birthday or year-end post.  

Before I went back rewinding in my head this roller-coaster-year first thing first,

Happy Birthday Hayley Williams

Of course,

Happy Birthday, self. 

Wow this year was so fast. 

Some highlights,

• Got to travel to Taiwan for almost a week with my dude
• Saw Lhea again after years
• Went back to Baguio and La Union with college friends 
• Been rejecting too much emotional drama
• Supported my alter ego nonstop 
• Watched basketball alone
• Rejected to write much this time
• Still thankful for music
• Been more introvert this year
• Been too stressed 
• Almost did it
• Got my 13th tattoo
• Rejected to at least hang out with friends (they’re busy too. Sorry)
• Countless anxiety attack for the past months 
• Chose to hangout with my dogs than seen in public
• Loved some days of life
• Treasured the weekend by not thinking too much 
• Still trying to live at the moment and not over thinking about life
• Still not over to the fact that people come and go
• Maybe stopped to be fascinated with birthdays and anniversaries
• Still somehow traumatized with the past years
• Learned some tips on how to survive life
• Patience is a virtue

30 is a big deal for some that I can’t believe that I’m 30 today and I worked all day. Not sure on what will happen but better be busy than be too emotional about looking back and forward on what is next. 

I was dreaming of spending the New Year somewhere else but maybe I’ll give another try on celebrating it here. Plus I don’t like the holiday craze where everyone is traveling. I don’t like to be stuck on an airport or hustling with other things or people by the first hour of 2020. Busy days than chaos elsewhere. 

I’ll try to travel more next year. Maybe an alone trip somewhere. 

I wrote something during the mid-year that I wasn’t able to finish but I’ll put it here as reminder. 

``

Mid year was always a challenge and this year is no exception. 

I’m not doing well for then past month and still I’m thriving to fight all of this for me not to give up. It is easier to give up but I’m choosing to fight. 

Some days are good, some are not. 

This will be the time that I want to leave to have some vacation again but not yet. Maybe my next travel will be by next year. 

My insomnia is way worst these days and I’m trying to assess it more on how will I’m going to deal with it. 

Trying to be a healthy eater but it’s quite expensive so I’m not limiting myself to a certain diet. 

I read a book. That’s one good thing. 

Applying in real life on how to say no even it's killing me inside. 

``

I thought the past year was already though but I guess we still have to prepare for the worst. We can never tell what’s the future holds and sometimes it’s still scary. 

I’m somehow reminded that there’s the unknown. 

Nothing fancy being 29 going on 30. I’ll be forever 27.

Still somewhere in between this past, present and future life, I feel that there’s something missing. 

On to the next phase. 

On Repeat . Less Noise: A Collection of Songs by a Band Called The Maine

Less Noise: A Collection of Songs by a Band Called the Maine – The Maine

I'm really not that updated-fan of The Maine that I just find this album recently when I was looking for an acoustic of Saving Grace on Youtube. Now, I can't stop playing this and somehow regret that I didn't see them when they were here few months back. 

Friday and the 13th

Ever since I got my mermaid scale in 2014, I already crave for another thigh tattoo but I was not sure on what to get. I’m confused on what to get and then I got something in my mind but I’m so not sure if its worth it. 2016 I got my cross which are known by few people. 

Fast forward to 2019 when I’m currently having 12 tattoos together with the last 5 that I got last December. I’m finally was able to add a thigh tattoo again. 

Ever since I was watching tattoos show in the states, and having the knowledge of the competition of tattoos here in the Philippines, I always wonder on what it feels like on having an on-the-spot tattoo where people are watching and all that. I’m not game to that but I’m just curious about it. I’m curious on artist when they ask on a post if who’s game to be a model for a tattoo that they want to do not particularly for a competition but also for their on benefit. 

If you ask me way back before if I will be game for such my answer will be no and that already changed. 

JT the tattoo artist of my brother as well as the one who is responsible for my last 5 tattoos posted on who are willing and available for a portrait tattoo and so many of his friends commented and I messaged him asking on what particularly his idea on this “portrait tattoo” I was so hesitant since when you say portrait for sure it will be a face of a person and I’m not really into that even when it comes to family. Portrait tattoos are not in my tattoo plans since I don’t want to regret that and I don’t like for it to look like shit years later. 

Weeks passed he wasn’t able to message me that I assumed that he was busy since he was posting some work until he messaged me weeks later. I saw his message and I didn’t open it, I was actually thinking of an excuse on why I don’t like to not until hours later one thing triggered the rebel in me that wanted to be reckless for a night. 

I asked him what’s on the table for this tattoo ideas, he was asking if I’m into anime or anything that will be under “portrait” category. I’m not into it I don’t even like having a face as a tattoo until he sent me bunch of photos and on of those was skull which is on my tattoo list for years.

Originally I wanted a skull and roses (I know, cliché). 

I’m not sure why I liked skull as a tattoo maybe because some of the artists/bands that I’ve been listening to have skulls on their merch or maybe my fascination about the series “Bones” or maybe it was because of the lyrics “I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me”. Whatever it was, it’s not about the generic reason if you google the meaning behind a skull tattoo. 

So when I opened up to JT that skull-roses has been on my list, he showed me some ideas and he specifically say that he want to do something different than the normal skull-roses tandem and I get it its too common and as he explain what his idea on this skull-flower thing he specifically said that he wants a realism but he doesn’t like a skull tattoo that have a jaw (BOOM END OF THE STORY. LETS GET IT STARTED.) I showed him some sketch that I screenshot from Pinterest years ago, skull without jaws. The tattoo gods wanted this collab to happen. YES. 

I was there by 8PM. This whole collab discussion went for hours. We started by 11PM and I’m not so sure on what will happen or on what time we will finish. Reckless on a Friday night is the theme of the day. 

So the story behind the jaw was, basically when you see a skull tattoo it is always smiling. Weird that if you looked at it at any kind of skull it is scary and always smiling at you. Creepy. I also killed that idea when I saw jawless skull on Pinterest. 

Since I wanted it with a flower, he also suggested Peony (I ALSO LIKE PEONY!!!!!) maybe not this kind but still it’s peony!!!

He showed me this one picture where the skull grown another kind of flower inside it and that’s another idea for this. 

We are set.

As a person who respect artist of any kind I know that I should also listen to his idea and somehow suggest some things if I’m not into it that’s why it took so long before we started. I just made it clear that the main thing was a skull and a flower and I let him do the rest. Gave him the space on my thigh and I just let him do his thing. 

I almost cry on the process. 

I WANTED A 2019 TATTOO. 


MOSTLY. I NEEDED THAT.  


I’m sure some saw it already but I was wearing skirt for 2 weeks and I know people noticed (the skirt) but even I wasn’t dressing up nicely, fuck off I’m nursing a new tattoo. Haha

Today is December 10 (fully healed) and I haven’t posted about it unless people will stalk my Facebook profile but I haven’t told my friends about it, I’m not yet ready for the world to see it for now. Its not that I’m worried with their reaction or comment but I just want to keep this to myself for a little longer. Maybe I’ll be showing it off when people forget my 2-weeks-skirt-outfit or maybe when I’m just ready. 

My mom was as usual can’t get over it most especially when she saw that it was a skull. I was honestly having a little doubt if I did it right because I can’t get over with her reaction then privately I asked my nephew on what is the very quick reaction if people see skull and he said “death”. 

Maybe 2% of the reason was “death” but definitely there’s 98% different reason behind this and I can’t list it all. 

I agree to add up on this next time and obviously still far from over and I can’t wait but before finishing this up, I’m going to prioritize finishing my forearm and another wrist tattoo. 

Can’t wait.

Maybe I’m done with 2019 tattoo? Or not? Who knows. 


Btw. This took 4 hours (11PM - 3AM)

November 15 2019 - skull on a peony

Gifts

Christmas is coming. Its gift giving time of the year once again.

As much as I get old and get the expensive side of the holiday season, it somehow became just an ordinary day that is free from work.

We love to get gifts and receiving something expensive or an unexpected one are nice but I realized the past years, that it's ok just to give something that we can use on a daily basis even it is something that can be gone after a few months.

If I do this to some friends, I know they will never get the idea of it but I use to give Gem just simple ones like a yellow socks that I know she will love.

It’s ok to give gifts such as the necessities (cotton buds, alcohol, wipes, etc) as long as it is usable and as long as you know that person is using such. I know its nonsense, people will also comment to you that you didn’t even think about it but they don’t have any idea that you somehow thought of it too. It is so much better than give them something that one day will just be collecting some dust in the corner.

For someone who is using those basic necessities, it's a gem. For you to less a little bit of that expense to that person is a big help or at least next time she/he got some spare money to buy something else because she/he saved up with the gift that you gave. Just spice it up with some presentation.

I get it. We want something that’s expensive that we don’t usually buy but for someone who is doing a regular grocery shopping it will be less on their next trip.

Just a tip, give something that will be used and will be useful for that person enough with the picture frame and mugs. Enough with the things that might be useful but end up not being used for years.

For kids, give something that’s educational or useful not because it's cute, not because it’s Hello Kitty or Mickey Mouse.

Maybe let just give them an envelope with some cash or gift certificate. Less stress on your part and they can get what they want.

As much as stressful our surrounding right now, I hope we will all have a very peaceful holiday season. It's my favorite month too.

Happy holidays :)

Random . November 2019

November 1. I’m too emotional that I can’t wait to visit daddy and some family that I’ve been dreaming lately. Will be there in few hours. 

So good to wake up without thinking of anything. 

My kind of weekend but have to keep going to visit the family. 

Passport renewed. 

It’s quite sad that I don’t even got to say “hi” to the people that I used to be close with. 

Week off from everything that the only consistent thing that I do is reading “The Stand”. 

I’m being OC with people who buy too much stuff that later on we all know that they will never use. 

I like it more here because it keeps me away from all the buzz. It is silent in here. No major stress. 

If a person use a lock feature of a doorknob, respect. It was lock for a reason. 

Stress lately is eating me up. I got one message earlier and convinced myself to be reckless just for today. The result - 13th. 

I FINISHED MY FIRST STEPHEN KING BOOK!!!! Took me 1 1/2 month! Make me interested to watch IT, actually. 

UAAP Finals Game 2 is today and I didn’t have any idea. Hahaha. Congrats Ateneo. 

21 the beginning and the end. 

I can’t wait for the next book for the book club so I can divert my attention to that. 

Joined the third book club discussion. Yay for the first to many. 

Done with a busy week. Next, one of the busiest month. 

Waiting can be so impatient but trying my best to be patient. Patience is a virtue. Hehe

Sale everywhere!!!! So tempting. Lol

Why did I open Zalora. Hahaha 

Thankful. 

On to the next, one of the busiest month of the year. 

Beginner

For a year now, I tried and still trying to somehow control my purchases. My mom is a bit hoarder in life and it also shows on some family members and anyone can’t deny that. Lol. 

After somehow revamping my room last year, I started to try to be a minimalist. I’m not saying that I’m minimalist now since at some point I’m still not qualified to being an extreme minimalist maybe I’m just at a beginner stage or maybe I'm a minimalist on my own little way. Well, being a minimalist doesn't have a rules that you have to follow before claiming to be one. 

I tried to watch some minimalist Youtuber and I’m learning but I don’t agree with some of it. 

I wanted to write about this for a long time now but it just hit me most just recently. Would you ever believe that I’m hating malls now? It’s too crowded for my introvert self and living few steps to a small SM makes our life a little bit easier. Not to mention, online shopping. :)

I went to Baguio and I didn’t bought a souvenir. baby steps

I’ve been to malls but I’m losing appetite to shop for the unnecessary things. If you see me at SM in this town mostly because I just need some refill on my stuff/I need to close my exercise ring/maybe its the time of the week to satisfy my potato corner or Jollibee cravings. 

Mostly I’m at the grocery or Watson. Haha but I’m not buying the unnecessary ones just need my refills. 

I even promised myself that I will not buy another batch of make up until I finished the current ones. 

I don’t know how but if it’s unnecessary, I don’t buy it anymore. I shop online but also if I just need it. Lazada is the way for not to leave the house but still getting some satisfaction on shopping. If I can get it in Lazada then, I’m good but of course you have to know the difference in price or if its worth getting online. If you can’t get it anywhere nearby then buy it online 50 pesos for shipping is somehow same if you will be leaving the house. Might as well shop at the comfort of your own.

I’m proud to say that I can now go to the mall and not buy anything except of course to eat at a different restaurant from time to time. The thing that I do if I’m at the mall check the physical product and read the label and also roam at the grocery just to read label and waste time. Haha. so tita

That somehow even I watch some haul on Youtube, I don’t get jealous because at some point even if it is an investment, I know that at certain moments, they will still forget to use it. 

To just decide if it is needed or not is the number 1 lesson. You have to put that in mind. Mind over matter on how it can work. 

For a while now too, I’m very choosy on what to eat. I’m somehow lessen my unhealthy eating habit. I don’t go to full vegan or what because it’s expensive. I just control the Gong Cha since I made a hack on not to crave it. I stopped Starbucks but of course if friends asked to, I may order differently now. My chips are limited to once a week. I stopped soda years ago same with coffee. 

One reason that I don’t go out much anymore because I know that I might messed it up. I saw this cute bag by a brand and not that expensive but I still have some small bags that I barely use and I don’t even usually use a bag on a daily basis. As long as my jeans have pockets, I’m good to go. (but it was cute and I’m sure I can use that somehow... lol real sturggle ). 

I want to purchase a stationary bike but promised myself that I don’t need an equipment that will eat up space that I might not use on a daily basis. Stretching is a free-equipment exercise same with walking at SM for maybe 30 minutes. 

I don’t go to salon for a haircut (I cut my own hair) or go for my underarm to be waxed since I can also do it myself and a service of it is almost the same price of a waxing kit that will last you longer than just 1 session. Just recently, I finally decide to buy an epilator for my underarm one best decision in life that will last for years as long as you take good care of it. I tried in on legs and it hurts and I don’t like it. I still buy a razor but 3 pieces will last for months. 

So many things to share on how I’m trying to be minimalist in a way that I could. Somehow, I’m saving up with this idea and having the mindset of knowing which is needed and not is a good start. 

I’m still having some impulsive buys from time to time and it always remind me to not do it again. It's hard to teach other people about it but if you want to do it on a possible way that you can just try. 

You don’t need to buy every make up that’s being reviewed on YouTube might as well the things they haul. You don’t have to buy it even it always notify you that they are on sale or they are 50% off. Think of buying things that will be for a long term not just for a satisfaction of buying it and not use it for more that once. 

If you can lessen the unnecessary then good. 

Also, I’m avoiding to use my credit card even I know the importance of its usage sometimes. 



10.2019

UAAP S82 . Basketball

Ahhh. Basketball, how I missed you. 

I’m a UAAP fan even I wasn’t in college yet last year (Season 81), I dare myself to not watch even a single game live. After 7 years of consistently watching, I didn’t watch live for last year. Fast forward to 2019 (Season 82) another year that I almost not able to watch a single game, I broke it yesterday I finally once again watched live. 

I’m on timehop for a year now and since I was in a different state of mind from last year, it once again reminded me on how basketball really helped me 8 years ago. It was a very crucial mid-year for me that I really want to write it all down before but I always refuse to write things out. Mid-year was a real struggle that I somehow missing the past more that even I do upload late (as always) on Facebook before, I was being reminded of the good ones. 

One major thing was watching basketball live. 

I was reminded on how it helped me cope. 

How basketball is a relaxing ambience to me. 

How basketball makes me feel safe. 

From not totally watching live last year, I’m slowly trying to go back to it but it doesn't mean that I will be watching every game of FEU. I just realized lately, that it was our most expensive months that I was thinking on why on earth I wasn’t able to save up before and these memories makes me realize that and I just laugh at the idea of it.

After a rocky first round, a questionable losses, shitty schedule for this season and even hanging from the Final Four spot, I decided last minute to watch live. 

The traffic is horrible everywhere that before I can get to Araneta in an hour, maybe it will take 2 hours now and maybe 3-4 hours to MOA or worst who knows. I can still make time for weekday game but since they added a 10:30am and a 12:30pm this year, no thanks. Haha

Weekend games are somehow not in our favor and on weekends I chose to just locked up myself in the house than get out. 

I was so hesitant when we have a game in Ynares in Antipolo during the first round and since it didn’t permit me to watch too for some personal reason, I let it pass. 

Yesterday it was perfect, it wasn’t raining, it was Saturday and it was once again just in Antipolo that my travel time was just 30 minutes. 

If I can’t watch because of location and time schedule, somehow the basketball gods will make a way to bring basketball closer. Yay. 

Yesterday reminded me to be at the moment though it will never really be just like before if Brobabes weren’t there but as for my self, I needed that. 

I needed that break from the outside world and be surrounded with basketball noise. 

I missed that. 

It was so good to see some familiar faces from afar. 

It was so good to watch live and win.

It wasn’t the same feels when being in Araneta or in MOA but I’m so proud on my baby steps on going back to the scene. Lets be honest that I somehow know how things work but if you are putting yourself in just watch-mode it was fun. 

I really needed that. 

And the tita and the introvert in me with this kind of traffic lately, I just choose to be at home and thankful that I don’t need to waste most of my time in traveling even the counter part is the most challenging. 

Who knows if I will be able to watch again before this season ends but if it fits my schedule then maybe I will even it will be in MOA. 

10.20.2019

unfortunately, we didn't win against UST (stepladder) but it was a good season of basketball. we may already know what will be the ending of this but, thankful for basketball :) 

On Repeat . The Hype (Berlin)

The Hype by Twenty One Pilots

I got only few words for this version it's just that I love this version I love they rhythm in short, I love this. 

I hope we can have more reimagined version of most of the old songs and I wonder on what will be the result if he did Car Radio, Kitchen Sink and Forest (just to name a few personal favorite). 

On Repeat . Clementine

Clementine by Halsey

I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain

And in my world,  the people on the street don't know my name

In my world, I'm seven feet tall

And the boys always call, and the girls do too

Because in my world, I'm constantly, constantly havin' a breakthrough (hmm)

Or a breakdown, or a blackout

Would you make out with me underneath the shelter of the balcony?

'Cause I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone

I just need everyone and then some

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I just need everyone and then some (I just need everyone and then some)

Wish I could see what it's like to be the blood in my veins

Do the insides of all of my fingers still look the same?

And can you feel it too, when I am touchin' you?

And when my hair stands on ends, it's saluting you

The blush in your cheeks says that you bleed like me

And the 808 beat sends your heart to your feet

Left my shoes in the street so you'd carry me

Through a breakdown

Through a breakdown or a blackout

Would you make out with me on the floor of the mezzanine?

'Cause I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone

I just need everyone and then some

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I just need everyone and then some (I just need everyone and then some)

My face is full of spiderwebs, all tender yellow blue

And still with one eye open, well, all I see is you

I left my daydreams at the gate because I just can't take 'em too

Know my heart still has a suitcase, but I still can't take it through

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I just need everyone and then some

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I don't need anyone (I don't need anyone)

I just need everyone and then some (I just need everyone and then some)

I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone

I just need everyone and then some

Oh-mmm, oh-mmm (yep)

On Repeat . Graveyard

Graveyard by Halsey

It's crazy when

The thing you love the most is the detriment

Let that sink in

You can think again

When the hand you wanna hold is a weapon and

You're nothin' but skin

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

I keep running, I keep running, I keep running

They say I may be making a mistake

I would've followed all the way, no matter how far

I know when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

I keep running when both my feet hurt

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard (no, oh)

You look at me (look at me)

With eyes so dark, don't know how you even see

You push right through me (push right through me)

It's gettin' real

You lock the door, you're drunk at the steering wheel

And I can't conceal

Oh, 'cause I've been diggin' myself down deeper

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

I keep running, I keep running, I keep running

They say I may be making a mistake

I would've followed all the way, no matter how far

I know when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

I keep running when both my feet hurt

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard

Oh, it's funny how

The warning signs can feel like they're butterflies

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

I keep running when both my feet hurt

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard

Random . October 2019

Yet again an impulse buy that make me doubtful. 

Why can they act so relaxed when I panic.

Zombie apocalypse is better to happen than seeing this government slowly kill us. 

Reading a book that was published during the pre-gadget / pre-internet era makes me realized life can be simple.

Another week for my anxious self. 

I don’t want to go with specific just because. 

Don’t dare me because I will not going to “think about it”.

The most stressful year to date. 

Why do people ask me when will I get married? Will they sponsor me for the rest of my life? Lol 

That’s why I gave you an option the other day. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Whoa. That’s worst than mine. 

When you are literally empty inside, you will try your best to claim everything you can just for yourself to have a satisfaction that at least from the outside you look complete. When in reality you're

 inside and out will forever be empty. 

Maybe there will be a time that you will just give up helping a close minded person. 

I wonder if they know.....

I need another tattoo

Daddy was downstairs but it was just a dream. 

Looks like we need another help tonight. 

I still have issue when people decided to leave. Apologize with my facial reaction but I’m happy for you and I feel once again sorry for this country. 

Passport renewed. Where to next?

This mall is already exhausting at just noon on a Friday! 

Decided to watch basketball (alone). I figured if I can’t go to Araneta or MOA most especially with this kind of game schedule, might as well grab the opportunity to watch in Antipolo. If you can’t watch the basketball because of location, the basketball gods will bring it to you. Thankful we won. 

Wow. I really miss watching basketball live but I miss Brobabes the most. 

Sometimes it’s just good to watch people. 

Then maybe its my turn to be pissed with this kind of ordering process at Mcdo. 

Bleachin.

I’ve been craving that fruit shake from Jakarta and I couldn’t re-create it. Lol 

Fake news. Lol. But I wish that I can still do that again this time. 

Just don’t want to talk to anybody probably until this week ends. 

I’m good with the current book that I’m reading, check the reptiles video by night and silently scrolling on Twitter. I’m pretty exhausted. 

Before I dwell on this, I’ll fast forward to what should happen. Gnight. 

Dear self, don’t give up.

Pod Sibs Book Club . The Stand (Oct & Nov 2019)

This is for the month of October and it feels like forever before finishing this that I'm not sure if anyone will be done before this month ends I hope we do, really.

If I will not be able to finish this for this month, I will make sure that I will still read this until the last page.

I'm currently on Chapter 34 and still a long way to go but this book was so detailed, on the introduction part it was said that pages has been deleted on this revision but I think that it can still be more than that. I get it on what Stephen King wants to make people understand but sometimes its just too much that I personally having problems on who is who because the characters are too much.

This is my first Stephen King book and I know now why people like him as well as the TV or movie adaptation but still books over movies!

One thing is for sure this book reminds me of the The Walking Dead and Fear The Walking Dead less the zombie and I may or may not know what will be the ending on this, but lets see on how it will happen.

"Hurt's a reason to change, but all the hurt in the world don't change facts."

The Stand - Stephen King

Pod Sibs Book Club . Where The Crawdads Sing (Sept 2019)

I was hesitant to read this. I don’t know why maybe the cover? Because before there are just certain genre that I read. 

I usually read something about a book before deciding on reading it but I didn’t look up anything about this book until I finished it. I’m glad I did. 

Though I’m so open on reading any book when I decided to go back on reading. 

This book was so detailed but it fails to elaborate a certain situation but as a reader it will make you think on why this and that. Maybe some things are really better unsaid than had billions of people will question your decision and you have to make them understand on why. 

I was surprised with this but I’m also left a quiet hanging situation. I’m a bit fan of open-ended ending but why. Lol

The first part was also a bit boring but once you read into the mid chapter you will keep on flipping the pages. 

This will also be adapted to a movie soon. I hope it will be good. 

“Time is no more fixed than the stars. Time speeds and bends around planets and suns, is different in the mountains than in the valleys, and is part of the same fabric as space, which curves and swells as does the sea.”

Pod Sibs Book Club . The Hate You Give (Aug 2019)

This was a very easy to read coming from a very long hiatus. It was very light but its all about the black community in the US and the reality of it. 

Racism it is. 

It's very light to read and intense sometimes. 

I decided to watch the movie adaptation after and it was a bad decision. Books over movies, always. 

This book is also a representation of living in a small community / town and some pros and cons of it. 

This makes me miss my dad and the family set up that I grew in. 

Even one character was missing in the movie, I will put the trailer here for people who doesn’t enjoy reading and can waste 2 hours watching it. It was a good movie but not when you read the book. 

The Hate U Give Little Infants Fuck Everybody 

Books

I stopped reading books years ago. For some personal reasons and I was planning to go back to reading this year but movies and series are winning over. 

I’ve been listening to Wake Up With Jim and Saab for a year now and on one episode Jim mentioned the Intelligent People group chat on Telegram then the link was posted on Facebook. I downloaded the Telegram app and been there for 2 or 3 months now. Aside from that group they created a group for gamers and another for a book club. 

I can’t promise to join every end of the month discussion on video conference but I tried to join the reading program. 

We are done with 2 books now and I haven’t join the discussion I wish they can agree on discussing it on chat but that’s not appropriate for “discussion”. 

I’m bringing back my book post even I don’t have a lot of it from the past. My next post will be about the two books that was done already and I’m proud to say that I finished that within the time frame of the month. 

I’m happy and proud of myself that I’m slowly getting back to reading and discovered that over the years that I’m not paying attention to books, there were too much that I want to give a try. 

Even I was hesitant to join, Yay for book clubs but sorry if I can’t join the discussion. Sometimes its just the busy reality that’s getting in the way. 

I’m not an expert on reviews, don't expect too much. 

On Repeat . Hey, I'm Just Like You

Hey, I'm Just Like You by Tegan and Sara

Been playing it on speakers for the past week that I don't fully appreciate it until I listened using an earphone and that changes everything. 

I like this album by Tegan and Sara might put it on repeat for weeks. 

Random . September 2019

Starting the ber month the right way. 

Adoring the morning life. 

Mall on a weekend. 

Yep. It just doesn’t looks like it. Hehe. 

Timehop from eight years ago makes me realize that basketball really helped me. 

When we’re out of our own workplace, we are just somebody 

Surprisingly, I’m not into watching series or movies lately. 

Somehow thankful that I don’t need to commute everyday. 

Major anxiety attack. Time to disconnect to people. 

Be realistic. 

A friend show up unannounced reminds me of how life is still simple sometimes. 

This Apple Event brings a little excitement in me right now despite of all the stress this week. 

Now back to my anxiety attack. 

11 years and I can still recall what happened exactly. I miss you always, Papa. 

Torn between watching basketball on Saturday or just stay at home 

Don’t put the burden of your own family to others. 

I just know them by name. 

Don’t make us idiots.

If you think you are wiser, think again. 

If you want a quick change, would you think it will be a long term? What if its just for a short period of time? Will it still be worth it? 

You will never accept my real talk. 

When everything is contradicting to each other. 

“Living in the moment” - people don’t get this anymore. 

Decided to stay home catch up on some sleep than watch basketball live. 

Much needed rest for this weekend. Doesn’t mean no stress for the rest of the week. 

I’m not surprised that people still misuse social media. I get it you have to rant but its not the right way. 

There’s too much stress in my life that I’m not interested in some social media bullshit. 

Dinner with friends this week and I can’t wait. At least something positive to look forward to. 

For some people being kind isn’t enough. You should give more than what you have for them to see it and for them to admit you are nice. 

I have this super random thought in my head as a response to your request and for sure you will never accept it. 

We won! Finally they find the spark somewhere in this game 😂. I somehow miss watching the game live. 

Online shopping 😅

It was apparently possible to be so exhausted being around with people. The introvert me just want to stay home. 

If it is an emergency better to do something than wait for my reply. 

Trying to do some work done today but government offices are just until 2pm without prior notice. Wtf 

Feeling empty without my bracelet. 

Why do people need to pay too much attention on teleserye even at work that they can watch the highlight online after? Without interruption and its not basketball! 

Whether it is a gift or a curse, maybe both. 

My life is quite boring compare to these people. 

You know it was a good time with friends when you don’t have a single photo. 

When you see that I do it then demand. If not, shut up. 

My anxiety is on a very high level right now. 

Can I just read a book and escape reality. 

This government require you to pay taxes on time but the same government officials always fail to make this country a better place to live in. 

Weekend work mode.