Rant . Better Than That

I've been questioning other people's decision lately and the list goes on but one thing I realized is how I'm so thankful to be content on what I have. Of course I still aim for some revamps and upgrades but that will not happen in just a snap, stepping on other people and even competing or comparing is almost out of my list.

I hate that I'm still not used that people come and go. I hate it when it slaps me again for the nth time. I hate that you're telling me stories that I believed and be at your side but then I will realize it was all lie. One day your telling me everything then out of nowhere it will stop, communication gone. 

I know you want to cut ties with everything since it became your responsibilities. I know you like it now since you were able to be a little far from here. I know you want to escape. Maybe that's why you slowly cut the ties that keeping you in here. Still I understand that part. 

Keeping it all inside and just burst it all out whenever you want is a bad idea. 

Talking is your forte. Listening is on me. 

I started by asking how was it but you refuse. All I thought it's all gone but then we found out in a very inappropriate way and you started to hate us. 

You cut ties. I stay away. 

I don't want to put myself again on a situation where I'm deciding to stay even I shouldn't. Maybe I did crossed some boundaries and I'm accountable to that I'm not gonna lie about it. We can talk about such action that I did and I'm willing to apologize. 

You lied. You stopped talking. You decided. 

I hate it when there's no closure or whatever it is because I begin to assume and conclude bunch of things while still trying to understand you. 

I'm not angry at you. I'm angry because of your actions. You know better than that but you settled on such level. 

Did I pushed you further or you just took the opportunity to escape. 

Whatever your reasons are. I hope you are happy. Hopefully it will be the start of contentment in your life. Stand on your decision, don't be ashamed with it. Remember that money can't buy happiness. 

Just don't twist the story between us. I will not make effort on saving my own ass because we both know the truth. 

FYI, I didn't believe when you said that you understand because I know you don't. 

You were already living outside the box, why come back in? 

I know you will not want to talk about it in person because you will now avoid us. I don't want it to happen either as long as you will not talk because it will just be pretending. I can face whatever was my action but are you willing to confront me? Will you be so proud, chin up with the things you've done? 

Stop depending on other people because I know that you can make your own decision. 

07.18.18