Random . October 2018

Bye Palawan. Till next time. 

Going home from an out-of-town trip feels better now than before. 

Whoa. It's been a year! Good job, self. 

When a daydream crash in front of me. :(

Missing my guy way too much. 

Might stick to yellow for the rest of the year. 

Need to off my notification for sanity sake. 

How can Paul write songs without being redundant. #MalibuNights

Even I badly want to, I think I'll let go the idea. #sad 

No one can ruin my surprises. And it's quite a success. You're welcome.

This guy beside me is so lost. 

Eavesdropping about basketball. Suddenly I'm missing the scene. 

I really hate the mall during weekends. 

Yay! We won! I'm going back slowly to basketball scene. Lol

Where did the weekend go?

Emotionally torturing myself. 

This month is so strange  

Down time and I badly want to write something but it's so cluttered. / Now that I have this new topic but I don't know how to arrange it. 

Feels good to not depend on social media while waiting for hours. 

I need some silence today. 

Whoa. What did just happened over the last two days? 

I did just hit literally the most rock bottom of life. 

Please, no. #21 101418

I'm so done with Malibu Nights. Time to play Trench. 

Done with all romantic shit. Music. Movies. Series. 

After Laughter is my safety blanket. 

For the first time, it's hard to reread that specific conversation. #21

When all of my daydreams crashes. 

After emotional issues, it's about mental now. #life

I need new tattoos. 

Social investment. 

2nd round schedule is better. Should we watch na? Hehe #UAAP

Defense mechanism is out. Slowly building back my walls. 

I never learn. Always giving too much. 

It's 2015 all over again. 

Inhale. Exhale. I will be okay. 

Every morning, I'm okay. Every night, I feel shit. 

Can some people be just human and stop the political shit?

Room revamp. Done. Though I still want drastic change but this will do for now. 1019

Hey. Guess what, I'm not surprised you're back. 

The disadvantage of being over protective. 

Might be the most awkward night. Lol 

How come this is a freaking reunion? Hahaha. 

I'm so drunk! 

Adults being kids. Again. Smh. 

Practicality over wants. 

Another night just questioning life decisions. 

Humanity. 

Distracting myself and just procrastinating by going back on playing Candy Crush. 

Here we go with your posts. Not sorry for no one wants to talk what more to listen to your bullsht. 

This month is so strange I want to end it already. 

When people don't see it, they don't appreciate it. 

Love and hate relationship with paperworks. 

As much as I love November and December, I think I will just let it be a normal one. #sadtruth

On Repeat . U & I

U & I by Caleb Hawley

VS 1
Don’t you want somebody to love when you’re lonely?
Don’t you want somebody to lighten your load?
Don’t you want somebody to think of you when you’re away?
Don’t you want somebody, somebody like me
Don’t you want somebody to make you your breakfast?
Talkin over coffee in the living room
Don’t you want somebody to watch all your favorite shows with baby?
Don’t you want somebody, somebody like me

PC
And as the world keeps spinnin
We’ll keep livin
By each others side until we
Pass on through this life it’s u&i
U&I
Until we pass on through this life it’s u&I

CH
U & I, U & I
U & I, U & I

VS 2
Don’t you want somebody to figure you out
Finishing your words before they leave your mouth
Somebody to hold you tight at the end of the day
Don’t you want somebody, somebody like me

PC

And as the world keeps spinnin
We’ll keep livin
By each others side until we
Pass on through this life it’s u&i
U&I
Until we pass on through this life it’s u&I

CH
U & I, U & I
U & I, U & I

On Repeat . Trench

Waited for this record for a while and when it was released together with Malibu Nights, I have to let go of one so I can listen to the other. weird

I actually can't listen to this first. I was already invested my time on listening to song released song of LANY from Malibu Nights and I want my ears to be sick about the album before moving on to Trench since I know, I'll listen to it non-stop. Well I have to memorize and indulge on every word of this album.

One Sunday where I decided that I'm so done with LANY or any sad love song just for a reason my overthinking-self is torturing me. I stopped listening to it then listen to After Laughter for a while then the next day, I started to listen to Trench.

I want to feel angry with the world and I expected something like super angry song from this album and I was disappointed at first but its slowly growing in me right now. It's not as angry as the previous album but there's still something, you know. 

I'm listening to it for 10 days now and I'm loving it more. I need The Bandito Tour, fyi.

No specific favorite but Chlorine, Levitate and Neon Gravestones is like my new Car Radio, Migraine and Holding On To You. Would love to memorize all these words.

Since I can't always pick a favorite, here are my favorite lines. 

Jumpsuit - Jumpsuit, jumpsuit cover me

Levitate - You can levitate with just a little help

Morph - I'll morph to someone else | Defense mechanism mode

My Blood - Stay with me, no, you don't need to run | Stay with me, my blood, you don't need to run

Chlorine - Hide you in my coat pocket, where I kept my rebel red

Smithereens - You know I had to do one on the record for her like this

Neon Gravestones - Neon gravestones try to call

The Hype - No, I don't know which way I'm going | But I can hear my way around

Nico And The Niners - Save your razorblades now, not yet

Cut My Lip - Though I am bruised | Face of contusions | Know I'll keep moving | Know I'll keep moving

Bandito - I could take the high road | But I know that I'm going low | I'm a ban-I'm a bandito

Pet Cheetah - No, I move slow | I want to stop time | I'll sit here 'til I find the problem

Legend - You were one of those classic ones

Leave The City - In time, I will leave the city | For now, I will stay alive

I love this album with all these words, voice of Tyler and of course the beat of drums by Josh and all the instruments as well as the sound of a Vulture. EPIC. 

This will be on repeat for a long while. 

Last year

I needed change of pace
Couldn't take the pace of change
Moving hastily
But this year
Though I'm far from home
In TRENCH I'm not alone
These faces facing me

They know
They know
What I mean

On Repeat . Malibu Nights

I love this album.

I know its cliche but seriously how can you not hate this?

First, this is obviously a product of a heartbreak which we are all familiar with. Personally, I do try to write for personal purposes only but I asked myself "How can Paul write such songs and somehow doesn't sound so redundant?".

As a follow up to their self-titled, this album doesn't disappoint. 

Currently, I don't relate to the heartbreak part but on each song I do have a favorite (as usual) 

1. Thick And Thin - Said you'd be there for me through everything | Said that you'd have my back with anything

2. Taking Me Back - So baby won't you slow down | This can make or break us

3. If You See Her - I know I'm not perfect but we were

4. I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore - Sometimes I just wanna talk for a minute | But I can't bring myself to call

5. Let Me Know - Let me know if there's something I can do to fix it | Let me know if you ever change, if you ever change, your mind

6. Run - Just make sure you don't run back to me when you're done

7. Valentine's Day - No matter what I tell myself | She's not as good, she's not as good | She's not as good as you, no

8. Thru These Tears - Control my thoughts | Convincing myself it's your loss

9. Malibu Nights -  Every thought when it gets late | Puts me in a fragile state

My favorite and my mood for the past week was Malibu Nights. Every word is too much. 

These songs can make you feel sad but in a good way. 

Paul, in every song I felt your words. 

Congrats LANY. Hope to see you again soon!!!

is it weird for me to say i want my voice to feel like home

— paul klein (@pauljasonklein) October 10, 2018

Your voice is not the only home in this album, it's also the words you wrote.

I drive circles under street lights
Nothing seems to clear my mind
I can't forget, get this out my head so
I drive chasing Malibu nights
Nothing seems to heal my mind
I can't forget

On Repeat . Thru These Tears (Live at Conway)

Thru These Tears by LANY

This hurts like hell

But I keep telling myself

It's gonna get better

But it's taking forever

I tried to go out

But every time I leave the house

Something reminds me

Of what's now behind me

Everyday I let go

Just a little bit more

In the end I'm gonna be alright

But it might take a hundred sleepless nights

To make the memories of you disappear

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

Control my thoughts

Convincing myself it's your loss

I really mean it

And I'm starting to believe it

'Cause everyday I let go

Just a little bit more

In the end I'm gonna be alright

But it might take a hundred sleepless nights

To make the memories of you disappear

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

Out of sight but you're not out of my mind

So it might take somebody else at night

To make it feel like you were never here

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

You said it was over

But when we got closer

You cried on my shoulder

Goodbye

In the end I'm gonna be alright

But it might take a hundred sleepless nights

To make the memories of you disappear

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

Out of sight but you're not out of my mind

So it might take somebody else at night

To make it feel like you were never here

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

Driving home on an empty highway

I thought about you and I hit the brakes

What we had and who we were was so clear

But right now I can't see nothing through these tears

On Repeat . I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore (Live at Conway)

I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore by LANY

I used to love these sheets

Dark hair against the white

I missed watching you get dressed in our hazy bedroom light

It took a couple weeks

Last night I finally cried

I remembered us in London, your chocolate covered eyes

Sick of staring up at the ceiling

How'd you change your mind just like that?

The only way to get past this feeling

Is to tell myself you're not coming back

I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore

From the start, I never thought, I'd say this before

But I don't wanna love you anymore

You got that letter framed

Is it still up on that shelf?

It's the one I left on our bed

When you were out of town

Sick of staring up at the ceiling

How'd you change your mind just like that?

The only way to get past this feeling

Is to tell myself you're not coming back

I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore

From the start, I never thought, I'd say this before

But I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore

I can't forget, the way it felt, when you walked out the door

So I don't wanna love you anymore

Sometimes I just wanna talk for a minute

But I can't bring myself to call

Because I know that your heart's not really in it

And whatever we had is gone

Sometimes I just wanna talk for a minute

But I can't bring myself to call

Because I know that your heart's not really in it

And whatever we had is gone

I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore

From the start, I never thought, I'd say this before

But I don't wanna love you anymore

I don't wanna love you anymore (talk for a minute)

I don't wanna love you anymore

I can't forget, the way it felt, when you walked out the door

So I don't wanna love you anymore

Random . September 2018

It's been a week since Jakarta. I miss it already. 

I'm somehow ready to write everything about Jakarta but my throat aches and cough. I've been too busy as well as soon as I came back early this week so I'll just rest then maybe on the next days I will be able to. 

One more lined up vacation this month. Hopefully it push through. 

11 days of jetlag shit and a little post concert depression. 

Arts + Friends. :(

Nashville is really one of the on-the-list-state-to-visit in the US. 

Oooppss. I also cut my hair. Yay. :)

Another quick hi-hello-bye. #21 091018

Shoot. I totally forgot the detour before leaving. 091118

3 weeks after the Paramore weekend and I'm just going to try to write that madness just now. I will try. 

Still on writers block but I'm missing one of my best friend tonight. Hi Pot, I miss you. 

I'm really having a hard time to let out my thoughts on all aspects. I'm trying this weekend so I'll have something for this month. I also need to let go of the Paramore experience since it's been a month!

Emotionally unstable. 

Done with writing about last month. 

Supposedly we should be out of town this weekend but really it's okay. 

Life.

You will be missed Tita Bing. Thank you, tita! Palawan visit will be different from now on. 

When I caught myself singing along very well on a new Avril song after few plays. Connection. Lol

Waiting but all good. 

The guy felt pressured after so long. 

Just like that I'm back in Palawan. 

Indonesia 2018 . Jakarta 2.0

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A post shared by Aivrin Villamayor (@aeivryn) on Aug 27, 2018 at 10:52am PDT

After Manila show, I was able to catch up with friends that I wasn’t able to meet since February and while they keep on sharing their SG experience and just really reminiscing what was just happened inside MOA Arena. We are just laughing the whole time. 

We separate ways at like 1am since I still need to get my things at my sister while Dex and Harry will be flying out on the night of the 24th, Ginnie will be my travel buddy again on this flight and we are staying together also with Diana. YAY! Diana was supposed to be on the same flight as ours so we can still explore Jakarta once again but there was a conflict so she wasn't able to make our flight but she will be on the same flight with Dex and Harry. 

Ginnie and I stayed at the airport from 2am and our flight was 8am. Ginnie and I are tired but nothing compared to Ginnie since she has been to Singapore then stayed in Manila for maybe less than 48 hours (not sure) then flying again to Jakarta. At least we have a free day before the concert although I somehow wish that I explore Jakarta that afternoon instead of sleeping. Lol but I still have to wait for Diana who will arrive at midnight and when she arrived at 2am, I didn’t sleep already. We catch up on a lot of things while Ginnie was sleeping. Diana was just telling me about their flight and on how she was able to talk to Dex and Harry since we weren’t really introduce each other in February since we are all exhausted. 

Plan is to leave our Airbnb and line up as early as possible. We are in the city, 1 hour away from ICE and we left before 6am.

PARAMORE LIVE IN JAKARTA - on a different post

After the show, we planned to eat at the nearby Mcdonalds but it was full and all of us were really tired already we all just want to sleep. We didn't eat up together and we are still going to travel for 1 hour to get on out Airbnb and we are trying Grab Food again but nothing so, I end up eating the bread from Family Mart while I browse my pictures and videos and while my 2 roommates went straight to bed. 

Slept at maybe 3 am and woke up lunch time while Dex and Harry were already on their way to pick us up so we can go to Monas. It was a Sunday and I really wanted them to experience Kota Tua but not enough time since original plan is to climb up Monas but it was closed then maybe another sight seeing but changes. One of the original plan was Museum Macan if Diana was on the same flight but no. Haha 

Dex, Harry and Ginnie will be leaving Sunday night while me and Diana will be leaving Monday morning and we asked them if they want to see the Yayoi Kusama exhibit at Museum Macan and they searched it and good thing they loved it. 

After Monas, we went straight to Museum Macan and we definitely enjoy the exhibit and after we separate ways since Diana and I will try to shop at Grand Indonesia while the three of them will be heading to the airport for their flight. 

We even bumped to Gilas players (Belga, Almazan and Trollano) at Grand Indonesia who was there for the Asian Games.

Diana and I really do bond this time, before when it was time to go home in Tangerang with my one hour travel from the city I really felt alone and lonely at my hotel room good thing we planned to be together this whole trip after doing a little shopping, ate at our favorite restaurant as last customers and we stayed at a coffee shop after just talking random stuff until we got home and it didn't end there! Haha I slept at 4am and she didn't sleep at all afraid of missing our flight. Haha

We left the Airbnb at 8am and had the best Grab ever. Hahaha what an experience!!!

We bought chocolates then had breakfast at the airport while waiting.

It was indeed a memorable trip. 

We ate early dinner when we got back in Manila and guess what I just poured a glass of pineapple juice on my shoes, good thing I was wearing Dr. Martens. Lol 

We didn't plan much on sight seeing for this trip since we already did that last time. Though we still wanted to see a different side of Indonesia, Yogyakarta to be exact but we don't have much time. 

My Photographs: Jakarta 2.0