On Repeat . Wildfire

Wildfire by Cautious Clay

                                                                  Your eyes are like weapons

Your lips could teach lessons

Don't use them so reckless

'Cause for you I'm helpless

You gotta take caution

You know that I'm all in

The chance of me falling

You know that it's often

But if you don't wanna stay

Then please stop moving this way

You're starting up a wildfire in my heart

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

You're starting up a wildfire in my head

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

This love is so costly

It's killing me softly

Don't know what to call it

This thing that you started

You make it look easy

The way that you lead me

Into the fire babe

Are you coming with me, yeah?

But if you don't wanna stay (Don't wanna stay)

Then please stop moving this way

You're starting up a wildfire in my heart

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

You're starting up a wildfire in my head

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

(In my head)

(What you meant)

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

(What you want)

(Just what you do)

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

Livestream . LANY

 

Forgot what did I purchase first but one week after the Twenty One Pilots livestream was LANY. 

I missed the sold out shows of LANY in Manila but I was able to see them for free in Trinoma couple of years back and yes, up to this day, I still regret not attending to any of the 3-days sold out in MOA? Araneta??

By missing that 3-days and without concert for 2020 and just because I want to see them, I decided to buy a ticket and it just cost less than $20. 

I didn’t thought of it much but I was also worried that we don’t have internet that day when I woke up. Fortunately, we got internet that morning. Less anxiety. 

Connected my iPad to the speaker and by just waking up few minutes before 9am, I was in bed and I can attend a concert. No need to travel and dressed up. Lol 

Just on the first song, I realized that it was my ideal LANY show that I wish I was able to watch it with someone. 

One few reason why I can convince myself and not to feel bad about missing the 3-days sold out was I can’t imagine the fan girls. I can’t handle it that I just want an intimate show with LANY an acoustic one. It was this show and I’m alone but I was able to enjoy it. 50 minute show was a little bit short and with all their albums, how can you pick up songs to put on a playlist. I wish it was a little bit longer even they add up on tickets just to make a show for 1 hour and 30 minutes or make it 2 hours. I know it will not hurt so bad plus few more songs. 

I know we can just search for some full concerts on YouTube but we can do that anytime and by attending to one livestream is like being present at the moment while watching it with people all over the world. You can’t get that much these days. At least we know we are being united in attending one event at the moment. 

This show didn’t make me cry but I really wish I was with M during this show. 

It actually makes my heart happy because it was my ideal intimate show by LANY. 

Someone also uploaded the full show after and I once again will admit that I rewatch it as well because it was so good. 

Search it out if your ideal show of this band is as same as mine. 

Livestream . Twenty One Pilots

 

I was somehow upset with some things and then I received an email about an update about the album and the livestream. Checked how much it will be and on when it was then I bought a ticket. 

I never wake up early just for shows that I already missed a lot of it the past year. Usually it will be from 6am-9am but due to the change on my habits, I’m so sure about this livestream. 

I didn’t expect a lot but you know it’s Twenty One Pilots. I wonder on how they will do it since crowd is one very important part of their concert. 

When I woke up by 7am that Saturday, we don’t have internet. Great. 

Good thing I was able to have data and now my dilemma will my 8gb data will survive the livestream. 

I was anxious that I might just waste my ticket. That made me so anxious on the first part of the show and at the back of my head it might be cut any minute when I maximized the data usage that i might not finish it. So much fun on my first time on livestream. 

It was not cut by my data usage. I was able to finish it with a high level on anxiety. 

It was amazing. 

My ticket and the price I paid was worth it. 

General admission ticket price and a comfort of my own bed when you just wake up, its a different one but worth it. Even some parts or should I say most of it didn’t end properly. Haha

I was expecting to be a little emotional on some acoustic most especially on that version of Heathens but no I was emotional when they played Car Radio. 

Of course for all the songs on that setlist, I got tears on Car Radio. 

I also can’t believe that it will be part of the set list but that’s one of the favorite so I can see why it is included. 

The show was something that you will never expect to see most especially if you have any idea on how they do on an actual concert. 

I also just realized that it’s been almost 6 years when I first saw them here in Manila. 

Someone (of course) uploaded it on YouTube few hours after and I’m not gonna lie, I watched it again. 

When the show ended, I’m one of the attendees asking for more or maybe just a replay button. 

I will never get tired watching it. 

Also those new rendition of the songs. 

The appearance of Jenna and Debby. I wish Rosie was somehow part of it. 

The dance moves of Tyler and the drum skill of Josh. 

No spoilers but I bet if you weren’t able to attend then for sure you already saw the snippets of it. 

Kudos to everyone that was part of the show and to whoever was the mastermind of everything. It was beautiful. 

If ever it is still somewhere online, go and do yourself a favor and watch it.

On Repeat . Lost Cause

Lost Cause by Billie Eilish 

Something's in the...

Something's in the air right now
Like I'm losin' track of time (Time, time)
Like I don't really care right now
But maybe that's fine
You weren't even there that day
I was waitin' on you (You, you)
I wonder if you were aware that day
Was the last straw for me and I know

I sent you flowers
Did you even care?
You ran the shower
And left them by the stairs
Ooh-ooh-ooh, a-a-a-ayy

Thought you had your shit together, but damn, I was wrong (Wrong)
You ain't nothin' but a lost cause (Cause, cause)
And this ain't nothin' like it once was (Was, was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job (Job)
You ain't nothin' but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothin' like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job

I used to think you were shy (Shy)
But maybe you just had nothing on your mind
Maybe you were thinkin' 'bout yourself all the time
I used to wish you were mine (Mine)
But that was way before I realized
Someone like you would always be so easy to find
(So) So easy (So, so)
Ea-, mm, mm

Gave me no flowers
Wish I didn't care
You'd been gone for hours
Could be anywhere
I, I, I

Thought you would've grown eventually, but you proved me wrong (Wrong)
You ain't nothing but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothing like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw (Yeah)
But you got no job (No job)
You ain't nothing but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothing like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw (Think you're such an outlaw)
But you got no job

(What did I tell you?)
(Don't get complacent)
(It's time to face it now, na-na, na-na, na-na)
(What did I tell you?)
(Don't get complacent)
(It's time to face it now, na-na, na-na, na-na)

Random . May 2021

 

Last year, I badly miss traveling overseas. This year, I just miss being out without worrying too much. 

Cry fest. I will not judge you on that but I hope you learned. 

Sometimes it’s good to be lost at sea of people or just being in a crowd. 

In over a year of the world doing online meeting. I’m finally attending to one. Lol

Missing the feeling of being underwater 

On the most important part, you slept. Great. Lol 

One reason why you don’t depend on computer all along. Appreciate the classic way. 

What a busy day 

Seen people who just let it go. For sure you will too. 

Be careful on the things you say out loud

Happy Birthday Papa! I miss you so much. 

Missing the simple life before. 

I want to watch a movie because of the beach but I also don’t want to watch it because of it. I miss beach life. :( 

Taken for granted 05.11.2021

Crashing all my daydream again

Stress eat so that I will not cry. 

When they are furious but they don’t know the real struggle 

Everything is so frustrating

If you think it is just as easy as 123 then I tell you that it is not. Given the previous situation that we’ve all been. Just asking for a little more understanding. 

Too mush anxiety. 05.12.2021

Don’t pass your frustration to me. You said you’ve been planning then you should have an A-Z plan not just A & B. 

Sometimes it will never be enough for them. 05.13.2021

Maybe that’s why I was so angry in my dream. I’m so angry at you that I even shouted at you.

Was any of it was true? / Was any of it even real? #21 05.14.2021

I miss watching people. 05.15.2021

People and their personal issues 

I’ve been working out for a week. Who am I. 05.16.2021

Been watching different TV series and some movies lately. I’ll go back to reading soon. 

If you don’t want it to spread like a nutella then don’t show anyone that you’ve been dealing with some personal issues. If you can’t hold it to yourself, be sure to open up to someone you can really trust and not to every single person that will spread the word. 

I’m ready to surprise y’all better be prepare. Lol 

I guess it is never too late to start working out. I should’ve started it last year but yeah, whatever. 

Wasted an hour for a movie that wasn’t good

You are one reason why I have social anxiety. 

Just when you realize to somehow step up. 

You should do what you can do whenever you can do it. Priorities. 

 Never trust a 2 hour movie

Inhale. Exhale. 

I’m so sneaky. Hehe

Good thing that I didn’t skip working out even just a simple walking for 1KM despite of unexpected visit

Not planning to skip a workout 

I guess some people are so lucky 

Some people will never really gonna change despite of drastic change. 

You don’t need to announce every move you plan most especially when you have a problem doing it. 

School will never be about your friends. 

One of those productive Sunday that I thought was super impossible. 

FRIENDS reunion!!! I watched the series back in 2018 and wasn’t able to re-watch maybe on random nights. 

Thank you for the rain!!! 

Sometimes your disappointment to a person just continue to grow, there’s no hope.

Rewatching FRIENDS! 

Oh yeah after chilling for the weekend, I just found out that I missed few things. Then My account got locked and I need to wait for an email confirmation. What a monday. 

Yay finally. 

Oopss that sounds bad. Lol

Almost done for today. 

Looking forward for the rainy days. 

Eavesdropping is on of my favorite hobby. Lol 

I may not know if directly but talk about it out loud. Hehe 

I’m on Twenty One Pilots high the past week. Listen to Scaled and Icy!!! 

Book . The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson

Been wanting to read this for so long and when I finally did, I forgot to write a review or what was my opinion. 

This also took me awhile to finish since I keep on skipping it for some days. I started reading it by March 28 and finished by April 13 that is quite too long for this book. 

This is somehow effective, I know there are bad reviews about this book but when you analyze it, you will realize that it got so much sense. If you don’t like it then maybe it is not just for you. 

This is also a book that made me hook on one chapter because it mentioned something about the Philippines that I didn’t know. Maybe it was taught in school that I’m not just paying attention but I believe that it was never mentioned to me. I had to find out on this book. 

I like how it reminds you to not give a fuck to non sense stuff. 

I like how it tackled “entitled” people. 

This is one of the book that I got so many highlights as well.  

Here are some of my highlighted lines:

“Don’t hope for a life without problems”

“Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded”

“Pain serves a purpose”

“Happiness requires struggle”

“There is a freedom and liberation in commitment”

“Trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship”

“Entitlement isolates us”

On Repeat . Scaled and Icy

Scaled and Icy by Twenty One Pilots

Where to start with my opinion on this album? I’m loving it more when I start to listen to it over again and again. 

I was honestly scared when they started to tease this album just because of the colors involved. Yes just that little detail. Most especially when they released “Shy Away” that I just listened to it like once or twice just because I can’t see where this album is going. 

Then it was released and I can’t stop listening to it. 

Couple of weeks ago, prior to this album, I decided to purchase ticket to the online show and man, no regrets. It was one of the best show after so long. I know it is easily to look for previous shows by artists we like but even online this whole new level of performance from Twenty One Pilots is insane. I can’t handle how they perform certain song and I even crying when they played Car Radio. :(

Our internet was also busted at 7am and the show will start by 8am. I was on panic mode to be honest and I can’t even view the website on my phone. Super thankful that there was no limit on hotspot. Not sure if it was just yesterday or not but I was able to finish the one hour show with just hotspot. 

Still can’t pick a favorite. 

This album also reminds me of After Laughter. I’m dancing with this album and the color pallet! 

I know that this is much far from the previous albums but it’s worth it. 

On Repeat . Six Feet Under

Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish 

                                                                Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you
Don't come back, it won't end well
But I wish you'd tell me too

Our love is six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom
Again?

Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It's all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?

Our love is six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom?

They're playing our sound
Laying us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Crying us back to life
But you're cold as a knife

Six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom

Again

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you