Random . December 2018

Birth month. 

Denial or I'm afraid to snapped out from reality?

You will never accept how I can wait when lining up. 

Sorry but I'll roll my eyes because I stopped believing. 

Learn from failure but never be a forever failure because when that happened, it means you never learn. 

My head is all over the place trying to analyze lot of this so don't make me speak up. 

I really hate the political side of things. 

Thank you, Mama. 

Whoa what a reunion with Brobabes. 

Feels like everything is so fast that I think I need to slow down a little bit but I'm also on schedule. I need some time off. :(

Half of December is done. Slowdown 2018. 

You can't even handle simple task while questioning other people's capability. 

What you see is what you get but mostly you don't have a backstage pass. 

I have tons in my head and I have to let things out. #nofreetime

Fingers crossed for the plans this week. Hopefully it will happen. 

I make sure that most of attendees will at least have something to take home with. I hope you will appreciate it small or big. Merry Christmas. 

I assume you all had a good laugh. :)

Tattoo appointment today!!!

5 tattoo in 1 sitting and mom is freaking out. So in love with all of it. And just like that, the guy is also starting on his other leg. Tsk Tsk. Hahaha

The idea of freehand was scary but I like the result. 

My new tattoos are not even a week old but I'm already thinking of the next ones. 

So good to know from twitter that basic gifts like the necessary are appreciated now. I was planning to write a blog post about it but it's already Christmas eve and nothing was written. Lol #nofreetime

Rainy Christmas. 

Dear self, 3 days of work won't hurt except it includes your birthday. Lol. What birthday. 

Happy birthday, self. 

Social media detox. Lol. 

Wtf. That was even worse than before. For all people! #21

Same as last year and on the next to come, I was not able to thank people who greeted me on Facebook except for a very few. And I think it's already too late to say thank you. Lol but thank you! :)

Pushing myself to write a year end realization before the crazy New Year's eve. 

I realized some good things you've done but it doesn't save you for being a nightmare to everyone. 

Last weekend of 2018 and it's rainy, I love it. 

Will the rain stop for New Years eve? 

Thankful for holidays I have more time to be in bed. 

Last minute hair dye to welcome 2019.

Thank you, 2018.

2018

There are some vivid memory of early this year. This year I decided to make a trip to Jakarta a month away from the concert of Paramore. Met some very nice people because of that impulsive decision, visited Jakarta twice since the February show was cancelled. 

Can't remember much but all I know was, I invested most of my time keeping track with Paramore while waiting for August. Then been so broke after it. Lol. I saw Halsey too and I fall in love with her even more. 

Been to Palawan for Tita Bing's 60th birthday party. Then come back 2 months later for her funeral. Palawan trip was already different when we all came back there so as to future trips. 

November was a huge challenge for the family too since my grandmother was getting weak each day and she passed on December 3rd. She was also rushed to ICU the day I was scheduled to fly to Palawan for Tita's birthday but my mom said go and for Tita Bing, I pushed it through. No regrets. I'm sure people will also understand if only they knew. 

Whatever have an ending maybe ended this year. Some might hate 2018 while some love it so much that they don't want to let this year go. It might be an ending for some but it's also a beginning for others. 

I was rereading my monthly rants and one thing for sure, I lost me-time this year. Meaning I lost a day on reflecting on what happened every event. To be honest until know I'm lost, I'm just really forcing myself to write this up so for the sake of reflection and to release some crazy thoughts. I think that I wasn't able to grieve for losing 2 women who's an inspiration on different aspects. 

This year was a challenge and it is continuing to challenge me even on its last days. As always a year is one roller coaster ride. I literally forget to mention some important but I'm still and forever be thankful for the laughter and sadness of this year. It was a great experience and a lesson even this last month was all rushing. Time won't slow down and the universe doesn't want us to have down time. My ending, no time to reflect and I feel like 24 hours in not enough. 

There are so many to mention but all I got was some recent memories. Some of it I already let go. 

One highlight is that I really tried to get rid of Facebook but I consider is as an open communication for some like classmate from grade school, high school and most especially college. It's still a major role for most people but I control my usage, that's a huge effort. It was this year when I was bashed by someone on social media. It was terrible. 

I hit the most rock bottom of my life.

But I got my way back on my track even it's a little bumped. 

I got 5 tattoos in one session after 2 years. It was satisfying. 

Even on the last day of this year, I think it's rushing to the end. 

One last, sorry if somehow I disappointed you. Also, thank you to the people who believed.

I think this is enough for my year-end post. 

Whether you had a happy or sad 2018, let's just be thankful for it. There is really something nice despite of the bad ones. 

Wishing us all strength and guidance from above for 2019. 

Happy New Year.

On Repeat . The High Road (2018)

The High Road by Jojo

Next with her first release, The High Road was my jam for years.

Let us enjoy this new version of Jojo's The High Road.

On Repeat . Jojo (2018)

Jojo by Jojo

This album is on my playlist ever since and I'm familiar with her issues about the her previous record label and recently I wasn't that updated but I'm glad that twitter always update me with news and this new rendition of her album was a surprise.

On Repeat . Without Me (Live Lounge)

Without Me by Halsey

Found you when your heart was broke

I filled your cup until it overflowed

Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)

I was afraid to leave you on your own

I said I'd catch you if you fall

And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (All)

And then I got you off your knees

Put you right back on your feet

Just so you can take advantage of me

Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Thinking you could live without me

Thinking you could live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (yeah, I don't know why)

Thinking you could live without me

Live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (I don't know why, yeah yeah)

Gave love 'bout a hundred tries (hundred tries)

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine (made 'em mine)

I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind

Said I'd catch you if you fall (fall)

And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (all)

And then I got you off your knees

Put you right back on your feet

Just so you can take advantage of me

Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Thinking you could live without me

Thinking you could live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (yeah, I don't know why)

Thinking you could live without me

Live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why, yeah

You don't have to say just what you did

I already know (I know)

I had to go and find out from them

So tell me how's it feel (oh-woah)

Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Thinking you could live without me

Thinking you could live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (yeah, I don't know why)

On Repeat . Without Me (Victoria Secret Fashion Show 2018)

I knew that she will perform at the Victoria's Secret but dang I had no idea that it will be like this. After watching it couple of times I wish the there a specific camera just for Halsey. 

I haven't listen to this song because I was so into Trench or Malibu Nights when it was released and now that I'm so done with Malibu Nights and soon to be over with Trench here I am listening now to other artists. Slowly I know I'm going to listen to the others. lol

I saw her last August and until today, I'm glad that I did. 

Again, if ever she will pass when it's near you, please see her live. 

I'll put the music video for Without Me below too. 

Last Saturday

I decided to get out of town on a weekend since all I thought that I will be having a dinner with friends but didn't happen. I somehow not sure if going out was worth it though, I was able to buy something I need and satisfied my cravings. 

I don't usually go out on weekends because traffic and too many people on the mall and elsewhere so I rather stay at home. 

2 hours from hometown to Megamall. 

3 hours in Megamall just roaming around. Realized that online shopping is more fun and less hassle. 

2 hours in home court. 

1.5 hours going home. 

I didn't regret going out last Saturday since I was able to clear my head. 

For once again, I was a nobody in a crowd. 

I didn't shop anything I don't need and honestly ever since last month I'm trying so hard not to buy the unnecessary. Except for what I'm eyeing but not now. Not yet. Lol 

To be honest, it feels good even though that friends cancelled that dinner. 

I'm good not going out for maybe the rest of the year since it will be a very busy December but waiting for that rescheduled dinner with Brobabes. 

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