Random . June 2017

mixed of Manic Panic and Good Dye Young 

Your reasoning still doesn't make sense to me. 

Be careful on what you are saying because you literally contradict the other thing you just said. 

Phone call and music.  0602

I've been unknown ever since but yeah, I exist. 

Phone call and music plus eavesdropping. Lol. Not sure why you do it but I somehow like it. Thank you for letting me know that you are safe and sound tonight. 

Why does his voice overpowered by the music on every single song of this new album. :( 

Halsey! This album!!! #hfk

I don't get people saying that these bands changes. Listening to the new albums doesn't feel strange at all that I can still hear themselves in this. 

Even how many times you say it, I still and will be forever be confused. Lol. 

It used to hurt me but not anymore. I guess if you already make a mark it shouldn't be as hurtful as it is before. 

Always mistaken as somebody else. 

We gotta do what we have to. 

Slowly killing my self on this short trip and they don't have any idea about it. 

Always on the right time to save me. #21

In this life, you can't live by just hiding. 

Sacrifices. 

Maybe it happened because it wasn't treated fairly as far as I can remember. 

I can't fcking think straight right now. 

I'm huge believer of appreciating the little things but sometimes I also want to see the big ones. 

One day, I want to travel with unlimited time. 

Another night that I'm missing you so much, daddy. :(

When your phone tricked you. Hahaha.

My alter ego might be going back to Elyu. I'm jealous. 

Why people makes me want to get married already? Like seriously it's something huge that I think I'm not ready yet. I still got some personal issue to fix before leveling up. 

You don't need to treat them the same you were treated, it's your chance to make a change. Also your time to make something good. 

I don't have any idea about it and I was blown away when I read the manual. 

Let's not put it in a very technical way. Let's be practical and realistic. 

It's been weeks when we get back from the out of town trip and I'm craving for a new one. :( 

You can't protect them forever. 

I'm trying my best not to stress eat again. / then here we go doing food trip. Hahaha

I'm hating this situation so much. 

As much as I know it's for the better, thank you for just thinking about yourself. 

I'm being so fragile this weekend and then this. Then I can't personally escape and I'm losing outlet so here are my tears and fuck it hello stress-eating self. 0617 

Wrote all my random thoughts today. Hopefully when I post it I already passed that phase. 

Another day that I want to drive away. 

Sometimes you will follow but there will be the rare moment where you can be the game changer. 

Don't pull me down that hole I already been through that this past week. Slow down sometimes because your ignorance is showing. Lol 

Whatever you say, I'll take that blame because I believe it's the right thing to do. 

Thank you for the pep talk. I know it's a very different scenario from your experience and I'm still trying to figure out how to connect it but I think it will work. And of course your usual reminder. :) 

Hahaha. Stop laughing at me! But thank you for cheering me up, always. :) 

Oh you want me to discuss social media? Come on, you're one of those people who are stuck in Facebook. 

Thank you for that, it keeps on repeating on my head but I don't want to get fool since I know you have something big behind that. The trauma will not be lessen but you're such a comedian lately. 

Hehe. Careful. I know you don't hear yourself most of the time but did you just caught yourself by the mouth? 

Did I really heard myself saying yes? Lol. Hold on and let me laid in front of you the social media shits. 

Despite of my own insecurities I can still be overprotective. 

When people are not that observant. 

I'm having a hard time talking about social media on my next blog post. It's exhausting but I think I have to do it. 

That's how you work it. ;) 

I did it again and you don't have any idea about it. :)) #21

Lesson learned. Don't wear skirt during busy days. Hahaha 

Every single time it happen, it doesn't change. It blows my mind when I realize it. #21

I'm not a computer expert but I know what to do to avoid your play shit. 

We all have our bad side don't praise like someone's perfect. 

It's the last day of June? Whaaaaat‎.

After Laughter

After Laughter is out and I can't stop listening to each track and I don't know when will I stop since it is my favorite album. 

It's really hard to chose a favorite but since Hard Times and Told You So was out weeks before the album that I listen to those two non-stop too when it was individually released. Zac was right, Hayley never get it wrong on what to release first. Listening to the whole album and trying to get in to Hayley's head it's hard to think on which to release first if it wasn't Hard Times and Told You So. Those two are like the summary of what's inside After Laughter. 

After Laughter is the album that speaks in behalf of me. Yes, Paramore did it again. Someone tweeted this even before it was out that it is an "Upbeat Depression" album and I can't agree more to that most especially now that's it's been out, you should listen to lyrics not just be fooled on how the album title and the artwork. This is so weird but people also said before it was out that this will make us dance with our depression and so true, I already did an ugly cry and dance along to Hard Times in a day. 

It's been out for weeks and I can't stop listening to it. Every time I'm not listening to it, I always find myself humming or singing any song from AL. 

If you know the band history of Paramore, you will have a lot of interpretation for each song and you will know what were the reasons why these lyrics exist. So far I only read one article that doesn't deserve to be published since it doesn't give justice to what was the real deal of the album. Yes, AL is dark but we're all been there and a single stanza doesn't give justice to the whole song and on what is the real message. 

It's hard to pick a favorite since every song is so close to my heart and I can totally relate to everything in a different way. 

Here's each track with my favorite line. I really want to make a longer one where I can totally explain or interpret the meaning or how I feel about the songs but it's too much that I'm not sure where to start and for sure this post will never be out. So I'm not going there but one thing is for sure, most of this song speak for themselves and that's how we all can relate to it. 

Hard Times - "Gonna make you wonder why you even try" 

Rose-Colored Boy - "Just let me cry a little bit longer"

Told You So - "I know you like. When I admit that I was wrong and you were right"

Forgiveness - "Forgiving is not forgetting"

Fake Happy - "I bet everybody here is fake happy too"

26 - "Hold on to hope if you got it"

Pool - "I'm done giving up"

Grudges - "Why did it take us so long to just let it go?"

Caught In The Middle - "I can sabotage me by myself"

Idle Worship - "But we could let the light illuminate these hopeless places"

No Friend - "If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful"

Tell Me How - "Do I suffocate or let go?"

I actually like what they've done in this like they announced this album just weeks before the date with a single plus treating us so much that we didn't see the music video coming as well as the tour dates for the coming months and then in just a week there's another single and a music video. Paramore was so sneaky with this move and we are all loving the treat. Did I mention there were new bunch of photos too? Feels so good. Oh and PARAHOY 2018 ... :( 

Some people say that this is not the Paramore we get used to but I'm happy that most fans accepted the change and I know we will all agree that we are continuing growing up with them. 

This album is surely making us dance so let us all enjoy it. 

You don't have to tell me

If you ever think of me

I know you see me dancing

Wildly in the fog of your memory

You don't have to tell me

I can still believe

Power and Magic

If you see a person with tattoos, do you want to know what does it mean? Personally, I do and that sound so creepy but only if we are super close to the point that I can also discuss my own.  

Someone I follow on twitter posted:

"I really hate when people make me explain my tattoo. Is that weird?" 

Explaining is easy but I think the hardest part is for people to understand not just the meaning of it but also their acceptance to the whole idea of tattoos. 

Discussing my own tattoos is really hard too most especially to people who doesn't have one sometimes even to people who have one. Well at some point I'm not down on explaining mine too but I wrote about it in here somewhere. 

Funny that even my closest friends doesn't even know the meaning of my tattoos but I do prepare some short version just for a quick conversation but mostly I say a total lie that "it's just nothing" when the truth is that it means a lot to me. 

Yes, we wear our hearts on our sleeves but it also depends on how other people react to it. I can rant forever how I love my tattoos and what they do and give to me but when you don't have the deep understanding and acceptance about the idea of tattoo, you will never understand. 

I can't say that having one is joining the bandwagon just be sure whatever you want to get, you've thought about it gazillion times because it will be there forever. You shouldn't do it just for show. 

One thing is for sure, I love tattoos because they are the best accessories that I got since they're always with me no matter what. 

Petroglyphs and Pinto

Easter Sunday where my cousin need some pictures for her school project and I decided to tag along. 

Too bad she already went to BGC to capture street art. Haven't been to BGC for so long and I also want to see those street art with my own eyes. 

Living in the Art Capital of the Philippines, art is everywhere in here though she decided to skip some museum here since she doesn't have a lot of free time so she chose to visit Petroglyphs and Pinto Art. 

Bummer that we experienced rain showers that day but I was able to wear my docs. Lol but seriously the weather that day sucks. Good thing I didn't end up getting sick. 

I've been to Petroglyphs before when my professor in Humanities required us to have a tour in my own hometown and I still remember that moment when I was a bit amazed when he was telling that in our class then before that first day was over, I realized he was a relative. That's why he is so proud of our little hometown. 

After 10 years, I can visit it again and the difference was this time the National Museum is the one managing it already. 

Petroglyphs was still the same nothing has changed since it was already been taking good care of despite of the early vandalism that's been there. My uncle said that they used to hangout there since they don't have any idea on what are those that time before Carlos "Botong" Francisco discovered it. 

After that we decided to visit Pinto Art. It was also a very cool to travel and see the changes after not going up to East Ridge for years and being in Angono, Binangonan and Antipolo in a snap via that route. So good to see my hometown again from above. We used to go up there randomly when I was in high school. 

We arrived in Pinto Art and I'm curious since I used to see it only in pictures. Am I disappointed? A little because of the weather since I can't do much outdoor shot and there were no clouds and maybe sunset in there was good too. But when you have a mission to do then you gotta work with the weather even it's not on your side. 

If not within the weather and the other people, maybe I can say that I love that place (maybe if we didn't visit on a weekend then maybe we experience it in a different way). 

Personally it feels so good to visit a museum after years. I was able to see different kind of arts and to be able to use my DSLR again!!! Yay! 

Not everyone appreciate art the way other people appreciate it and it was more disappointing. Seriously. 

Like everyone give more importance on a picture where they are in it not appreciating the "art" they just want to have a different background for the sake of their social media for them to have a new profile picture. 

There are 2 ladies that exchanging on position so they will be able to take picture of each other while I was there watching and waiting for them to be done so I can take the picture of the art that they chose to be their background. One time we were in one gallery when there are a lot paintings and they can't choose on what will be their next background. How come people can be satisfied to few shot to be their profile picture? Are they just that photogenic? Stolen picture is another story. Maybe I'm just too OC with pictures. I wasn't sure if I feel bad, sorry or angry at them. 

So sad that they care more on their picture in that place than appreciating the art that's been their background. 

I was able to take some decent pictures which will be up on my Tumblr maybe mid-June or July. 

It's not about being surrounded by art that's why I appreciate it that way, I didn't grow up in a family of artist but it doesn't mean I don't care about it anymore. It should be appreciated the way they should be. 

hi, Daphne! she was a bit surprised to see the art done by her professor

I'm not saying not to have a picture with it but please lessen it and instead of taking a picture with it why not just take the picture of the art in front of you. Some of those artist are taken for granted let us be a ray of sunshine for them by appreciating their work even for a while. You can still post that on your Facebook or wherever let people wonder on the beauty of those picture than you blocking half of it. You can still have a picture in there but it's annoying to see your face on every photo than seeing the art or view that you're blocking (I'm speaking in behalf of some of your Facebook friends. Lol)

If only the weather was nice that day, there will be no hindrance on taking the camera out but that's not an excuse to at least appreciate the art. 

"This is ART"

The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver

Few of my favorite bands are releasing/already released new songs/records. Some people (fans?) are ranting on how they sound different from their previous record/s. Sorry if I offended some people of not calling them "fans" since I'm not sure if they deserve that title since they are not open on the change. 

I joined a local based group on Facebook and members of that group is ranting/complaining that they don't like so far the new songs prior to the new album that will be release soon. I was just like seriously? The artist or bands are also growing they are not stuck in the past.

From my own opinion when it was already said or written (most especially if it was written) that was also released on previous albums usually they already move on from that certain situation. Like someone who wrote something about his/her ex, they will not write something that was related to the same situation. It can be with the same person but it will be a different scenario. If that song was released and if you will be singing that for an entire tour, you will get over it eventually. 

Just like us, they will not be young forever they will also grow up. Experiences will also be different as they are touring all over the place. Just like us, they also listen to different artists which make them inspired on whatever record that they are making. We also know that technology is evolving which is somehow part of making music.

You can't just say that you will stop listening to them just because you don't like what they are currently making. With every artist that you are listening, do you still listen to the same artist/album/song for the last year without a fail? I bet not but it always gotta go to what's your current mood too on who you want to listen after a busy day at work/school, what album you want to play when you are having a bad day, what particular song you are putting on repeat while in the shower. 

If you're one of the user in Spotify that just play random Playlist that depends on your mood then it's a different story. 

Let us be all thankful that they've gone to that same phase in life where at one point we all relate to. That they were able to say those words when at the first place we can't say that or when we can't figure out what words to use just to explain ourselves. 

Let's be thankful that these song exist that one day we can all just play it back and remember that exact phase when you used to listen to such song. If you want to relive your teenage angst then you know what was your jam to be in that moment. 

Let's not bashed them, they are also humans like us the only difference was they got the talent and they got to be in the right time and place when they got the opportunity to write and make music. 

In the end, if you don't want to listen to the new tunes that's out recently or will be out in the next month then it's your choice to not listen to them and just blast whatever record you want to listen for the rest of your life. 

Let's all respect each artist that are making music even you don't listen to them. 

Personally, I don't listen to some artist that most of you love like Beyoncé, Coldplay, etc. (who doesn't listen to Beyoncé right? Well there's me. Haha) I'm familiar to their released singles but it's also my choice not to listen to them because it's not my jam but it doesn't mean I don't respect them as an artist. 

I've been listening to these new albums and I don't get why they predicted that these artist/bands changes, I mean it doesn't feel strange listening to the new songs at all. Some of it feels like I'm familiar with them already even just after playing it a few times. Please also stop predicting and saying that the new released album will be the last one. Lets just enjoy it. 

just enjoy the damn music.

— hayley from Paramore (@yelyahwilliams) June 2, 2017

Music should bring people together not the other way around. 

One Night, I tried

You explained, I listen

Somehow I already know you

I already know the routine

I just need to hear it

I want to be sure

Minutes later, we're okay, I'm okay

We exchanged goodnight

You said sorry

I said I miss you

09.03.16

Attached

I hate you when you leave me

I hate that I can't talk to you

I hate that I'm already used to you

I hate that I'm missing you so bad

06.18.16

13 Reasons Why (TV series)

If you haven't read or watched it, then take your own risk since there might be spoilers. But if you totally don't care then read my own opinion about it. 

Talk of the town since it was released end of March and I'm very much aware that the book was released years ago and it's been sitting on my iBooks for years now too. 

I gave in obviously, out of curiosity even I always prefer the book, I gave this a try since it's a series and not a movie. A movie usually don't give justice to a book but series can since it's per episode. 

I will try to read the book since I'm already done with the series but I just want to let out my thoughts about it. 

13 Reasons Why is somehow disturbing. 

I'm unsure on where this is going. When I was watching it I really want to write something about it and I don't know what to call it if it was my personal opinion or comment, violent reaction on the TV series or me discussing suicide. So yeah, wherever this post will go. 

One lesson that I want to discuss first is that, be kind to each other. The way we treat other people, we don't have any idea on what are the effect of it to them or on what they are currently going through. Always say "thank you" and sometimes it's okay to say you are "sorry" even it contradict the "don't apologize it's a sign of weakness", it's also okay at least to compliment something to a person even it's just a little thing and lastly, if you don't have any good thing to say just shut the fuck up. At least by shutting off, you will not make a damage and you will not spread negativity. 

First and foremost, suicide is not the answer. 

Suicide is not the answer for you problem, it is not going to help you escape life. 

Life, all we got to do is deal with it no matter its just so sad that some people really can't handle the reality. 

The character of Hannah doesn't give justice to what was her personality. The actress who played her role got a strong personality inside and out. I think that's good because as her appearance who would have thought that she will end her life? But the way she interact with people is also not on a suicidal category. It was not right because it contradict a lot of things in so many ways. 

Can we all just stop for a second and ask her how was she able to cut herself the way she did it?

It's so unreal, to be honest. 

The effort of doing the tapes, wow. And leaving those tapes and make her schoolmates listen to them for what? for them to feel guilty or to feel sorry for themselves? I don't get her reasons in there why not just continue living then just do some revenge because getting just revenge is very far on suicidal thoughts. How can you handle that you will not able to see the ending of whatever you started? Well, maybe it will not totally work since it will not make such noise because it didn't cost someone's life. At the end of the day, it still her own decision to end her life.  

But I'm intrigued was Hannah really saying the truth about these people? If yes, her reasons are very much not a suicidal thoughts at least not there yet at the peak where she will just do it and don't care whatever the outcome will be. Bullying and sexual assault are not just her main reason. It should have shown how Hannah process all of it after specific scenario happened like what she thinks after the night at the park with Justin? The hours after she hangout with Jessica and Alex? Her recording it days or week later doesn't seem right when you are feeling down or angry. As if she recorded some tapes a night or maybe a diary because it will be different she could have elaborate it more. You can't even feel that she's angry while recording the tapes (was it bad acting?) she should be angry right? Or at least maybe cry while recalls what she was saying but she was just so relaxed while recording / narrating it. Yes there are actual moment where we see her in a current situation but we didn't see a glimpse of her hours after just on the last episode when she about to do it. 

The reaction of Clay is not good. See you, pass it on to someone who barely can't handle listening to your voice and to your reasons since probably his first question too is "Why am I listening to this?" and "What should I do with this?". Did she ever think of that? Probably, no. If Clay did good to you why not give him a letter or his own tape ahead from anyone on why this and that and probably just say "sorry" and making sure that he's not a reason for why you did it? If Clay admit that he likes Hannah will it change her decision?

There's really a good and a bad side to the show. You think it's just a teenage drama series but it takes us all to another level of awareness whether you are an adult or a teenager. Since it will make people aware on what are the current issues in high school or the current surrounding of teenagers because it's too far from what the experience of our parents. Hopefully it will also bring awareness to school and to kids who are in high school to prevent such weak move. If your kids will be watching this please supervise them so you will be able to make discussion about it and let them know that suicide is not okay, its not the solution. 

Having a few knowledge about psychology, it really contradict something and all suicidal are not like Hannah. It feels like her story was told from someone who didn't think of the other side of the situation in short, a person who is just a self-centered, selfish and just want some instant escape. 

Also Hannah is an only child, attention shouldn't be a problem most especially in school since it should be showered by her parents at the first place. 

As I said, her reasons are not as valid as it can be. You might think that those persons are the only reason on why she did it but when you think and ask further on why, it will take us back to maybe her childhood or maybe on the previous states that they've been and it took me to her parents. 

I'll focus on her parents, I was somehow pissed to her mom because she can't accept it and that she thinks the reason is just at school when all of it can start at home. Hannah, you really should have leave a letter most especially to your parents. Notice when her mom was so strict while she was doing her homework? 

Pushing it to legal matters will not bring Hannah back and will it give closure to everyone? Will her parents be happy enough if they won and the school will pay them? Will it be okay when they get the money but they can't have their daughter back? Bullying is one reason but I don't think that the school is fully responsible to each students and their own action most especially if the school does have 30-60 students per class. 

Parents, if you think you know your kids think again. Don't just assume that they're okay because you don't know everything but even without knowing, just let them feel that they are loved, that no matter what happen you got them and they should have a safe place at home, always. 

Ending your life will not be a solution and you will not be able to take with you your problems. You will just pass it on to the love ones that you will left behind. Do you think it's fair to pass them the problems while they are suffering with losing you and not giving them any idea on how you did it? Most especially do you think your parents can handle all of it all at once? 

Don't be selfish, we all have our off days. Don't just think it's just happening to you put yourself out there you will realize that what you've been going through is just a minimal compare to what other got on their plate. 

Talk to friends about it, find an outlet where you can release the stress like write on a diary or blog about it. There are so many ways to release such thing you just gotta appreciate life and know what you want to do. There's more to life than what you think and remember some people who are sick are fighting to have another day, a week, a month or even a year while you just want to end yours. 

Live life to the fullest, it's beautiful with all the struggle and genuine happiness is real. 

The series was renewed for Season 2 and I hope with all the questions and issues that came out from different viewers will be answered. Personally, I hope to see how it affect everyone who was in the tapes, how her parents reacted when they listen to every tape and I somehow wish that Hannah still got a hidden box or letter that will explain it further at least for her parents and maybe Clay. I also want a preview on her childhood or their life before moving in the current state. A lot of things that I want to see on Season 2 and hopefully we get all the answers that we want. Despite of the issue this series got, I agree to have Season 2 so some things can be explained further and maybe give closure to a lot of things since I think expanding it to Season 3 will be out of context. Who knows, so let us all wait for Season 2 and let us help each other to not choose suicide as an escape.