Sick Of It

It just started this year but I've been there and through worst for the past years. I don't know if that makes me a better or a stronger person or not on both, but it definitely changed my outlook for such things and to people.

My walls are higher than before and my trust issues are worst. I had question my own capability, I doubted myself, I felt so numb for the things when I know I should be feeling something more than numbness, I had day-time-nightmares. My feelings was hundred percent worst than hurting as my tears overflow, my shutdowns and anxiety are on and off most days. 

I'm not sure if I'm used to it now or I'm still terrified but sure, I looked at you now differently.
The days when I looked up to you respectively was gone and it will never be back.

Because, I will never forget. 

02.2016