Thursday

As much as we are aware, we believe that we haven't seen each other but we do hangout at the same area. We have been at the same area and on the same time but we haven't crossed paths, I believe we haven't. 

We do have similarities but we are also opposite to each other. One is extrovert and the other is an introvert, opposite but some of our beliefs and favorites collide. 

A very strong similarity that we have is we are both independent. We are both independent that we are somehow unfamiliar when someone is being concern to each other. Also the reason why we are both having doubts on taking risk. 

Taking risk is scary, it always has been but if one of us will slow down should the other one wait or go? 

I have so many doubts and one of my top concern is my trust/attachment issue that I have to deal with at the first place. I took my only shot as I gamble with the situation I never thought coming. 

Hearing your voice everyday and believing on everything that you said, I get too attached easily. Sometimes I doubt it because not everyone can say those things without a hitch but you can, so I end up believing. It will be too unfair if I will let myself think that all of it was a lie because your sincerity is too much. 

I love when you will say that we will just talk for the rest of the night. Your stories are unforgettable as I am amazed and most of the time I end up laughing. The sweetest statements that you will drop out of nowhere that makes my heart skip a bit. You proved me something beyond my knowledge that sets higher standards for other people. 

One weekend you said something to me that made me realize that it's not just me who have issues. I realized that this is not a one way road (it's not just about me), this is a two way road that both of us should make everything work. Taking risk. 

One day, I started to love the weekdays and hated the weekends. I started to question myself if I made the right decision but just when I'm going to start making crazy scenario in my head you will call and everything will be okay. 

I accept the challenge and welcome this new things that are happening right before my eyes. I made sure to savor every moment as I'm very well aware that without the assurance that I need even with your sweetest words, this will not last the way I wanted it to happen. This is reality and it's not a fairytale neither a well written novel. 

We slow things down, we stopped talking for a while. I'm confused on where is this going. Are we still on the same page or not anymore? Is it okay to assume things now? Is it time to let go? Maybe. 

I never regret my decision to gamble because you made me so happy, you gave me another reason to smile and to continue to deal with the shitty world that we're living in. I have another reason to wake up in the morning and make a peaceful sleep at night. 

There's no consistency in this world, I'm happy I didn't take any of those days for granted. It's been a while since your last call but your stories and sweetest statement are still echoing in my head. 

I believe it's not yet over. The right time for everything will happen when it is suppose to happen. Hopefully we will let our personal walls collapsed by then but if not, thank you. Beyond everything I want you to know that you made me genuinely happy and I'm very thankful for that. 

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream - The Only Exception | Paramore


03.09.2016