Random . April 2016

One day I will just stop writing about you. 

FTSK just liked my tweet! 

I'm amazed on how I can be so open with this guy. #21 0402

Avoiding twitter so I will not see spoilers from TWD Finale. 

How can I be angry when it can outcast by missing you. #21

When you watch too much pro-basketball you expect too much from Brgy. League. Haha. But I enjoyed it. :)

Been talking to a lot of people but I just want to talk to someone. 

Despite of my hesitation, I didn't regret texting him last minute but not yet today. 0405

H is living in a trampoline right now. 0406.

No wonder on what is the talent of that guy I'm a fan since 2005 and he's the reason why I love basketball. #17

TWD S07 please!!! 

Self issues. 0407

My aunt got angry at the newly opened salon at SM because they are going to charge you for the blow dry even you are getting a haircut. I know right, no brainer. I just realized that the person at the counter was so lucky because it was just my aunt who got angry. People who witnessed the conversation may think I'm being shy for her action but believe me, I'm not. Good thing I can control my temper or else that salon will be closing ASAP and I'm not down to have an argument with anybody after a long day. And I really just don't care I just need a proper haircut before dyeing my hair tonight. Yay for haircut and new portion to dye. I wasn't even able to take a picture after my haircut. I feel incomplete without my colors. 0407

Your never-ending story for a morning call. Good morning indeed. :D 0408 

So strange to wear contacts again but I'm happy that my right eye is not irritated anymore. Back to clear lenses. 

Doubts again. 0410

Thank you, M. 0412 

If we start to accept our own flaws, we stop to expect too much from others. 

I miss having babes around, especially when we will have last minute dinner plans. Fast forward to my favorite month, please! 

I believe it's not easy but it still makes me sad when people need (or should I say want) to leave this country for work. 

When they ask my name through phone calls and they can't understand it. Haha

Irritated eyes, again. Arggghh. So upsetting. 

I have been reading that conversation for the nth time. 0412

It's just morning but all I want to do for the rest of the week is chill and let the world go on without me in it for the next few days. 0413 

I just decided that I will not get a new laptop soon. 

It's so freaking hot. Can summer be over now? :( 

He love crowded place, I hate it big time. Opposite. 

Oh you think I'm done? I'm not even starting! 

He just woke me up to tell me what happened during beer pong at 5AM. Haha. Plus his annoyance at the morning birds outside his window. Hahaha. 0416

I'm loving this length of my hair right now but so sad that my Electric Lizard faded so fast it just lasted a week. :( 

Can't wait to see Gem this week!!! 

His honesty is so contagious. 

Everything seems so fast. 

Then all of my series are busted. Tsk. 

The sound of hesitation at 3 in the morning but was still able to tell such truth. Bye, I'm melting. 0419 

Someone is keeping me sane. He does even know how to deal with my shits. Huhu. 0419

I just laughed at it never thought that I need to reply to that. Haha. 

After having dip dye for 3 1/2 years, I think people should not be surprised anymore on what can I do with my hair. 

I'm so drained today and the day isn't over yet. 

If I don't answer, text first okay? K. 

There are days that we just want to passed but we can only see tomorrow if we decided to live today. 

The three of them taught me to fight. 

That's alarming af. 

I fucking need to get out of this town. 

I can't believe that upto now that's a major fucking issue. Tangina Lang. Have you ever been thinking? Have you been living in reality or you are stuck on your own world where there is only "you" who matters? 

Don't judge most especially if you don't know everything. 

And then it happened. 042216

Missing the old days at this town

I'm trying my best not to hold my phone because I have a cluttered mind again but I have a lot to say. 

Whatever the end game of this after that, I'll accept it. 

Why did I hesitated to do that. :( 

Someone's invading my dreamland. 

We're both overwhelmed. 

Someone is demanding for my writings! BRB. Hiding on my room now. Haha

4 letters in a span of 3 hours? That guy is really something then he will just say, "no comment". I'm so drained. 

Mantraaaaaaa. 

Geez Aiv, stop!

I'm so drained and I think I'm abusing myself right now so I will be so F tired. Its not healthy. 

There's like a new idea in my head but as I'm so tired, I don't want to entertain it yet. 

Okaaaay. Bye. 0430 0202

Why does it fucking hurts so bad

How will I cope this time?

I just want to witness a good sunset right now.

Hair Dye-ary . Neon

Wow. I think it has been a year since my last Hair Dye-ary post ... I will not be lazy this year to update since I'm so done with dip dye.

I retouched my dip dye first week of February

For the last 3 1/2 years, my hair was never once again stayed black. It's like once you get color you will never go black again.

3 1/2 years, 3 years with dip dye that some called it ombre while the 1/2 year was with some side streaks. I'm always afraid to touch my roots because my hair might hate me but it might happen this year. Haha. And everyone is doing ombre/dip dye and I'm just done with it.

I let my hair grow even the faded color is not pleasing anymore I want it all gone when I had a haircut.

Looking at some of my pics, I'm sick on how my colors are not visible unless you will get a nice photo that sometimes it's hard because it's all at the end. Prior to haircut day, I still don't know what portion of my head to dye. I planned to have a short hair this time but not short enough to be a boy-cut.

I'm on a tight budget lately and as I'm waiting for Good Dye Young (it doesn't ship in the Philippines yet), I decided to just order bleaching kit from Funkystreak and while waiting for GDY, I think it was also the time to empty the jar that's been with me for the last 2 years which was Electric Banana and Electric Lizard.

Last year was all about green (Venus Envy) because of UAAP and so fortunate that we won the championship but unfortunately we weren't there to cheer live. There was still some Venus Envy left that I used on my nephew and now that's just another empty jar.

I emptied my jar of Venus Envy to Dewey 

Also this time, I used more bleach on him that's why his hair is lighter than the usual result that I get (somehow golden). I still don't want to use one kit in one bleaching session because I'm scared to overcooked it but I'm learning.

This portion that I did was very last minute decision. I had an almost plain black hair for a few hours after haircut but I feel incomplete that's why I realized that I didn't took any picture with it. As I was staring at the mirror, I remember the way that I cut my hair last year when you need to tie all of your hair in front of your forehead so you will get instant layers. That's what I did and I honestly don't have any idea on how it will look like after.

I used more bleach than usual and voila my outside portion now is lighter than before. My hair was lighter than golden and I was so close on over cooking it (glad it didn't happen). Haha I never thought that it will be a huge portion and the only color that can fill my bleached hair is my Electric Lizard.

I don't use it very often before because usually when I get golden hair Electric Lizard and Banana wasn't that visible but this time it was a success.

This is the closest thing that I can do on dyeing the outer/upper area of my head and I'm loving ever moment of it.

No one saw my hair until the next day and I know it will catch attention and I was smiling huge when I went downstairs because my mom might freak out but I'm so surprised that she wasn't. Haha

It was so new to me and of course, I get stares that sometimes I can't help but smile and laugh a little. Haha. People around shouldn't be so surprised if I did a lot more portion next time and of course with different bright color I hate dark colors it's not visible at night.

It faded so fast that my neon hair just lasted for a week :( 

"You may call me crazy, but that's alright with me" - Playing with Fire | FTSK

On Repeat . Tough Love

Tough Love by Forever The Sickest Kids

It's been three days, since you called me.
I don't really know how much more this, I can take.
(I can't take no more!)
It's me, (Oh no!) 
That's pathetic -
Checking my phone every single second...
To see if you've been calling,
To see if you still want me.
(It never came.)

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She kept my head in the clouds.

So what do you gotta say, for yourself
That I haven't heard from somebody else?
Don't try to impress me with make - believe stories;
Darlin', please spare me, I'm already hurting.

And hey! (Hey!)
On the drive home,
I heard our song on the radio.
It didn't really burn, at first;
But it came hard when the chorus hit the second verse.
(Like a train.)

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.

Love, it hurts, way too much.
Love, it hurts, way too much.

She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but....
She was the one, the only one for me;
I made mistakes, but she always forgave me.
She was the one - my only obsession;
She kept my feet on the ground, she kept my head in the clouds.
She kept my head in the clouds.

Thursday

As much as we are aware, we believe that we haven't seen each other but we do hangout at the same area. We have been at the same area and on the same time but we haven't crossed paths, I believe we haven't. 

We do have similarities but we are also opposite to each other. One is extrovert and the other is an introvert, opposite but some of our beliefs and favorites collide. 

A very strong similarity that we have is we are both independent. We are both independent that we are somehow unfamiliar when someone is being concern to each other. Also the reason why we are both having doubts on taking risk. 

Taking risk is scary, it always has been but if one of us will slow down should the other one wait or go? 

I have so many doubts and one of my top concern is my trust/attachment issue that I have to deal with at the first place. I took my only shot as I gamble with the situation I never thought coming. 

Hearing your voice everyday and believing on everything that you said, I get too attached easily. Sometimes I doubt it because not everyone can say those things without a hitch but you can, so I end up believing. It will be too unfair if I will let myself think that all of it was a lie because your sincerity is too much. 

I love when you will say that we will just talk for the rest of the night. Your stories are unforgettable as I am amazed and most of the time I end up laughing. The sweetest statements that you will drop out of nowhere that makes my heart skip a bit. You proved me something beyond my knowledge that sets higher standards for other people. 

One weekend you said something to me that made me realize that it's not just me who have issues. I realized that this is not a one way road (it's not just about me), this is a two way road that both of us should make everything work. Taking risk. 

One day, I started to love the weekdays and hated the weekends. I started to question myself if I made the right decision but just when I'm going to start making crazy scenario in my head you will call and everything will be okay. 

I accept the challenge and welcome this new things that are happening right before my eyes. I made sure to savor every moment as I'm very well aware that without the assurance that I need even with your sweetest words, this will not last the way I wanted it to happen. This is reality and it's not a fairytale neither a well written novel. 

We slow things down, we stopped talking for a while. I'm confused on where is this going. Are we still on the same page or not anymore? Is it okay to assume things now? Is it time to let go? Maybe. 

I never regret my decision to gamble because you made me so happy, you gave me another reason to smile and to continue to deal with the shitty world that we're living in. I have another reason to wake up in the morning and make a peaceful sleep at night. 

There's no consistency in this world, I'm happy I didn't take any of those days for granted. It's been a while since your last call but your stories and sweetest statement are still echoing in my head. 

I believe it's not yet over. The right time for everything will happen when it is suppose to happen. Hopefully we will let our personal walls collapsed by then but if not, thank you. Beyond everything I want you to know that you made me genuinely happy and I'm very thankful for that. 

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream - The Only Exception | Paramore


03.09.2016

Saturday

I'm counting down the days

In two days it will be a month 

I keep myself busy just like the other days

Even it's a Saturday 

It's weekend I know you were out 

Just like the usual

It's hard to compete with weekend 

It is your safety days

I will not deny I was waiting 

For the past four weeks I still wait

Waiting for a certain song to play

Waiting to see your name calling again 

My phone is at my back pocket 

As I keep myself busy 

As a certain song began to play

In a moment it felt like the world stopped

Your name is on the screen of my phone

An owl is asking me to answer it

I almost drop it before answering 

Then I said "hello..." 

I was shaking

I was nervous 

I wasn't dreaming 

I am talking to you again 

04.04.16

Stolen

I never thought it will happen

That one day one person will take the spotlight

I thought I will be forever trapped

I have been for the last 11 years

Maybe the last 5 years was just pretentious

'Coz I never wanted to hurt anybody unintentionally

No pretending when I said I missed the friendship

'Coz you understand and you know me without filters

Someone topped that by being too honest

Being too consistent with his action 

Being too real for who he is

He was too transparent

I was too hesitant at first but I gave in

I fall too fast to a new rabbit hole

I don't even know how to get back up

I'll probably stay for a while

It's amazing how all of it happened so fast

Fast enough that it was also gone in a day

Nevertheless in a short time

That someone stole the limelight

03.28.16

Crossroad

You started calling

I answered that first call

You called everyday

I get used to your unannounced calls

You never text because you always call

I can count how many times you texted me

You wake me up every morning

I talk to you until you fall asleep

You cared and that's something new to me

I cared for you but it's so bizarre to you

You stopped calling

I started to wonder

You probably forget me

I started missing you

You're doing fine

I'll be alright

03.15.16