Random . January 2016

For 2 years, I still somehow forget but this will always remind me to believe. 

Happy New Year! More fun and happiness than drama, please. Thank you. 

#WalangForever woke up all of the emotions on my body. 

New year, new hopes. I don't know what to expect but hopefully, this year will be good. 

Just need the permission. #mantra 

How? F*ck 

Thank you! Thank you!!!! 

I'm once again hooked on reading. Maybe I'll stop after this story. 

Forgot to transfer the GoPro to my bag. 

I like this guy seating in front of me but I bet he's taken. Haha

I want to revamp my room but I don't know where to start. 

Hopefully this year I will be able to separate the wants and the needs. 

Sometimes, you just have to back off most especially if you are not involve. 

Defense Mechanism are up. 

Miscommunication :( 

Another year + your old self = nothing new 

I choose not to get too attached to people because I don't want to know their little secret. 

And I started to write again. Having limited space is challenging but I will never let go of my blog. 

Cleaning my closet and letting go of some clothes are pretty easy to do today and then I realized that I'm ready to let go of some things. It wasn't easy before but I guess I saw a different reason and discover some new life lessons. Hello 2016. 

Sometimes, you just need to keep it to yourself. 

Is it possible for people to be that happy? 

Dear self, don't stress eat this time. 

I know I'm a good listener but I'm not good on comforting people. 

Congrats Alaska! Heads up TR and Global not bad for your first ever semis. Congrats Ping for being the best player of game 5! :D 

Well, did this year just started right? I won a planner from Saab! My first ever win on any online contest that I joined and I was able to receive the item. Shout out to Paper & Co. I already won before but I didn't received the item maybe it was for US only or not. I just didn't received the Sony headphones from Buzznet. 

"The Feeling" another song that speaks for itself and geez the feels. I want to write something about it but as I said it speaks for itself so maybe I don't need to. And yes, Justin Bieber but it's really Halsey. Haha.

Catching up with friends are the best. But why am I being nervous. Haha. / Thank you, Ryan! :) 011316

I think I need a roadtrip after this week or at least a day too far from here. 

Another day that I want to do a road trip.

h w g a 2 0 1 6 v d a y 2 

Oh yes! I can totally drop this everything today if you push me to the edge. I can just drink off with friends in Manila. A S A P. Your choice. Then I can go back Sunday. 

Oh. Did you figure it out now? 

Expectations vs Reality.... #02

Thank you, daddy. :) 

Keeping me sane. Thank you for the busy day. 

All of the emotions hidden came out for the last 48 hours. It will be hard to shut some of these emotions soon. 

"The Feeling" by JB and Halsey was literally on repeat gazillion times today. And I'm not yet tired of listening to it. 

So tired and drained but it was a productive night. 

I just screen capped a conversation for the first time on my phone. Asdffjgkglsjkbajhhsgjdkdshj #02

Well, I think it will not be that hard to shut some of these  feelings because it just like going back to normal. Thank you for waking it all up it made me realize that the dream is not dead. 

Reminder: don't get too attached. 

Sometimes, we should just let it go. 

Being me is a gift and also a curse. 

Confused but I think I want or need to spend another day with you. Doesn't seem right, though. 

If this is a well written story I bet I'll see you anytime soon. I doubt it 100%. 

Dear self, move. #sepanx

That moment when you are watching a UAAP game (replay) and you are silently fan girling over yourself because I can see myself on TV. LOL

Trying to fight this headache but dang it, Raymond Reddington is so f*cking good! Well, I just need distraction. 

I want to talk to you but better not. 

If you're not in it then I'll just let it go. Rule that I'm following for a few years now. 

I do understand your reasons now. The only thing that I'm sad about is, I lost a good friend. #17

Lesson of the day: keep it to myself 

Dear self, don't over hype it will not work in all aspects. 

Dear self, why are we waiting for something to happen? It will never ever happen. 

If it can't be why does it feel right sometimes?

I hope one day I will be genuinely happy because we all deserve to be happy. 

My tattoos are part of me. 

Screw it. Let's just enjoy the moment. 

Whatever scientific reason you have it will never win over beliefs. #sadtruth 

Unannounced-random-caller. Hi! 01.21.16

I never thought that I will be able to have so many questions again after 6 years and I can't find answers or I don't need it because its just right here in front of my face. 

The happiness that I'm feeling for the past week was so out of me and I don't fucking know where it come from but I'm also surprise that this is one of the things I'm doubting about. I do really feel being genuinely happy and still I do have hindrances. So fucking annoying but thankful to know that genuine happiness is real. 

Best, I miss you. 

I asked. I got answers. No regrets. No what if. Life goes on. 

I need a drink! 

All you have to do is ask, I'll be honest about this amazing roller-coaster ride. 

Music, always.

This unannounced calls are my current favorite. #M21

I've been listening to Chvrches and I just found out that they will be here next month. Maybe not now. I'm saving for something. Need to prioritize things. 

Unanswered questions, I still have a few. 

No exchange of text message but calls everyday. I like it and I received too many unannounced calls today. Not complaining. 01.23.16

This is something different and I'm liking it. 

Just when your not expecting it. :) #21

Music videos are misleading sometimes. 

That moment when I laugh on a certain blog post I wrote a year ago. 

Unannounced-random-calls are really my favorite this week. 

Doubts. What ifs. Trust/Attachment Issues. Scary. 01.25.16

Let go of the past, live the present and don't over think the future.

Dear H, calm down. 01.25.16

Just when you are trying to detached he will call non-stop. #21

This world is too small and too big at the same time and everything in between. 

Someone who actually listened to my drama issues. Huhuhu. Thank you! 01.26.16 

I have to delete it because it doesn't make any sense now. 

Where are you, unannounced caller? Hahaha. #clingy 

In between of wanting to talk and to finish my to-do list. Haha. 

One very important thing that I learned from this super young relationship is, honesty is everything. #21

In a span of a week, we had too much time to talk than text each other.

This is the reason why I didn't give up 5 months ago. I can say it's worth fighting for.

Not now. Tomorrow night onwards. Haha. 

How to detached when you are already attached? 

Thank you for making "bawi" from your drunk night. #21

This is the last time I'm going to use the word "caller". Haha

Tired but happy. 

I don't want to deal with other people's shit most especially when I'm hungry.

Waiting for my order, best way to reflect on what is happening for the past week that's giving me hope and making me happy. 

Issues. I have to deal with it too. 

On Repeat . Gun

Gun by Chvrches

You had better run from me
With everything you own
Cause I am gonna come for you
With all that I have

I am gonna break you down
To tiny, tiny parts
I never believed, but I see it now
I'm learning your lesson, I’m learning your lesson

Did it make you feel so clever
Did you wear it on your sleeve
Did you see another picture
Where I was not a part so far entwined

There's no other way
Never run far
Take a good swing at me
And everything is even
So finally, we agree
No place for promises here
You better run, you better run so
Hide, hide, I have burned your bridges
I will be a gun
And it's you I'll come for
I, I, have never felt so easy
I will be a gun, and it's you I'll come for

Who are you to tell me how
To keep myself afloat
I tread the water all the while
You stuck in the knife
That you held at my back

Did it make you feel so clever
Did you wear it on your sleeve
Did you see another lifetime
Where I was not a part so far entwined

There's no other way
Never run far
Take a good swing at me
And everything is even
So finally, we agree
No place for promises here
You better run, you better run so
Hide, hide I have burned your bridges
Now I'll be a gun
And it's you I’ll come for
Hide hide never felt so easy
I will be a gun
And it's you I'll come for

There is no other way
Never run far
Take a good swing at me
And everything is even
So finally, we agree
No place for promises here
You better run, you better run so
Hide, hide I, have burned your bridges
I will be a gun
And it's you I’ll come for
Hide, hide have never felt so easy
I will be a gun
And it’s you I'll come for
And it’s you I'll come for
And it’s you I'll come for
And it’s you I'll come for
And it’s you I'll come for
And I’m gonna see that you won't go far
And I’m gonna see that you won't go far
And I’m gonna see that you won't go far
And I’m gonna see that you won't go far

On Repeat . Is There Somewhere

Is There Somewhere by Halsey

You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room,
Flashing those eyes like highway signs.
Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder.
I just wanna feel your lips against my skin.

White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life.
You told me this is right where it begins.
But your lips hang heavy underneath me.
And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me.

I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go.
Is there somewhere you can meet me?
'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings.
And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.

You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry.
Your girl's got red in her cheeks, 'cause we're something she can't see.
And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain.
And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same.

I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight.
I didn't mean to fall in love tonight.
You're looking like you fell in love tonight.
Could we pretend that we're in love?

I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight.
I didn't mean to fall in love tonight.
You're looking like you fell in love tonight.
Could we pretend that we're in love?

On Repeat . The Feeling

The Feeling by Justin Bieber feat. Halsey

Yes, I give in on listening to the new album of Justin Bieber, Purpose and I'm not sure on why I really really love this song or I'm in love with the song. Not so sure if its because of the lyrics or just the chorus, the beat, Halsey or maybe it just it, THE FEELING. Relate much . 

[Justin Bieber:]
You are to me
A part of me just like anatomy
You're pulling me
You're pulling me in like you're gravity

I'm notorious for thinking you're full of beautiful
Instead of hollow
Sugar on your lips, it's hard to kill
Jagged like a pill, so hard to swallow

[Justin Bieber & Halsey:]
Am I in love with you? Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?
Trying to find the truth, trying to find the truth
Sometimes the heart is deceiving
Can't get out of my head, and I need you to save me
If I am delusional then maybe I'm crazy
In love with you, am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?

[Justin Bieber:]
You give to me
Everything, anything that I could dream
And at least that's what it seems
Could it be I don't know what's good for me?

I'm notorious for thinking you're full of beautiful
Instead of hollow
Sugar on your lips, it's hard to kill
Jagged like a pill, so hard to swallow

[Justin Bieber & Halsey:]
Am I in love with you? Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?
Trying to find the truth, trying to find the truth
Sometimes the heart is deceiving
Can't get out of my head, and I need you to save me
If I am delusional then maybe I'm crazy
In love with you, am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?

[Justin Bieber:]
I'm sinking faster and faster
Between heaven and disaster
Sorry if I made you feel like
I'm standing on the borderline

[Justin Bieber & Halsey:]
Am I in love with you? Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?
Trying to find the truth, trying to find the truth
Sometimes the heart is deceiving
Can't get out of my head, and I need you to save me
If I am delusional then maybe I'm crazy
In love with you, am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?

FEU Victory Party 20@15

Despite of the bad flow of the program the fireworks made it all better.

I just turn on my GoPro and to my surprise I captured the start of the fireworks though the end was not captured perfectly I'm still happy about this. Its been a month already and here I am still waiting for another championship shirt and hopefully we can still score the one from Unibersidad. LOL

Should I?

First, Happy New Year and I hope you had a great holiday season :)

To write or not?

I received a planner and pencils during Christmas and even it's a simple thing I know it says something. Small gift with huge meanings... 

Is it okay to use a planner as a diary? It is clearly a "planner" not a "diary".

To be honest having gadgets that will alarm on a certain time and day to remind you of something is easy than to have a planner that you might left at home or somewhere else.And I can't put pictures in between sentences unlike posting here ... 

I know there will be days that will be dull but maybe I'll figure it out. We learn and discover new stuff everyday we are not just sure what it is sometimes.

Anyways, I'll try to decide before this month ends but it doesn't mean that I will not put some stories here. Some stories are good for sharing. And expect my monthly rant. Haha

Upon publishing this, I already decided to write and I just finish writing from January 1 - 8. Minimizing my rants and thoughts in a page or less is challenging but I still got this blog where I can share my stories and craziness. 

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." ― Anaïs Nin