Fragile Day

Happy Birthday, self.

December 27 will always be my fragile day. I'm so sensitive during my birthday. Not everyone know it by heart but some really does so I'm really thankful for that but ever since Facebook have a power of reminding people that it's your birthday then I'm double thinking. Haha. Still, I have to thank everyone who greeted me whether you know it by heart or you just saw some greeting posts. Thank you. ;)

I don't usually post my long thoughts / rants like this on Facebook because it's so unhealthy for all of us. That's why I stayed away from social media yesterday. Ever since, I don't know I stopped on updating on real time unless it's okay but mostly I don't it's usually my friends or family. Sometimes it's fun but it's so unhealthy.

I do have some materialistic wishes but I believe that I have a story written up there that some of the things that I'm jealous off will be in front of me on the right time. Most of the time, I just go with the flow.

I really wish that some people who I've lost along the way is still with me. They are one of the missing piece that I miss during this day of the year.

My 25th year of existence taught me a lot of things. I felt being so high up there with happiness and I also felt so down deeper than I've never been for the past years but with the ups and downs, I learned and appreciate a lot of things. I still question the difference of the flow of my life with others but I believe that my situation and yours have differences together with the advantages and disadvantages.

There are times that I just shut down and sleep to escape. Also to stress eat because of shitty people around.

Sleeping makes me hopeful that I will be able to see daddy and sometime I do but when I woke up it begin to be blurry.

Birthdays are meant for people to remember you but after making you feel so special next day will just be another ordinary day.

This year my birthday was on a Sunday, so I'm just going to do my usual Sunday than celebrating because, responsibility and priorities! I'm not planning on going to somewhere either since my friends are not here too.

So yeah, I passed one of the toughest year of my life and I think I will survive life as long as it permits me to live.

Thank you again for all of your greetings and if you can't greet me because we ended our friendship somewhere down the 25 years of my life and you still remember, thank you.

If you are going to ask me right now what I want as a gift, it will be a plane ticket plus a pocket money to somewhere. But if there are two things that I want to do on my birthday it will be, to get another huge tattoo and to drive alone or maybe with a friend to nowhere.

I'm not good with birthday speech. 

my first tattoo - 4 years old

Happy Birthday to all I met along the way and realized that we do have the same birthdate, I'm not going to name all of you. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday also to my friend, Nikka and to the one and only Hayley Williams.

26, I know it will be another roller coaster ride but more on the happy side and less drama.

Thank you. :)