Random . August 2014

Late post due to some unexpected things. 

I just need an alone time so back off.

Bro got a koi fish, I got some scales. :D 

I will fully believe you if you are applying it and if you are being so nice 24/7. So whatever you say, even if you pass that message you will never make sense to me. 

One day. #mantra

Traffic is one reason why I hate going to MOA but after spending time with friends, the travel is so worth it. :D 

Apologizing is different from explaining. 

I miss my dad for the last 1096 days, today is no exception. - 081014

I'm on my writers block but there are this little ideas of what to post next and I don't know where to start. 

I miss posting some "FYI, I'm a girl" and I'm trying to think whats next. Also, I'm thinking of revamping my hair. Maybe at the end of this month. 

Saving is my top priority for now because of our upcoming trip. 

I'm still not reading another book after "If I Stay" and "Where She Went". I haven't even re-read it too. 

Small tattoo again before another big one. Hopefully after our trip next month or before. Haha

Why should I feel this way? It was probably a first impression or whatever but it felt good. 

Dear self, stop overthinking. 

My head will explode soon because of too much stuff and overthinking. 

After watching the message of Hayley before playing 'Last Hope' in Denver which she dedicated to Robin Williams, I know I really need that 'Last Hope' tattoo. I even tweeted before she starts the song that "I'm so getting a 'Last Hope' tattoo this year. 

Some people will never realize it until you tell them. 

I understand it now but missing them will always be a different story. 

Selfishly thinking, maybe "the other half" will be there? 

Sometimes, I like jumping from one topic to another. Most of the time, I hate it. 

I take that as a sign. 

I hate lunch-time-traffic. 

I thought they're the one who will understand it but they don't. 

Its just a title, doesn't mean you don't need to do extra work. 

There's always a big difference between close-minded freaks and open-minded dudes. 

I've been hearing LWKUA everyday and I think at that moment I passed by your thought. Maybe not. Illusion. 

I'm enjoying chopping my hair zombie style and I don't care about the result. 

Being a music lover doesn't mean you have to be in a concert/festival. Hashtag fan-girl-problem 

Basketball season is one of my favorite. 

Acceptance is always the key. 

We will miss you Dade. Please give my dad a huge hug. 

On Repeat . Pure Heroine

Pure Heroine by Lorde

Rolling Stone USA - January 2014

As my addiction to music grow I learned that its hard to keep on each artist or each member of the band most especially if we are living in a different timezone. Paramore, Candy Hearts, You Me At Six and All Time Low are just the few that I keep tracking but when it comes to a new artist that I just started to listen sometimes I really don't keep track and imagine if I keep tracking for everyone from the vocalist to the bass guitarist to the lead guitar to the keyboard player to the drummer, uhhh its hard like that. So instead of following everyone, I subscribed to different music websites and get updates from them once in a while. Unless I'm bored at night then I stalk some artists on twitter.

I also stop bashing different artist just because I don't like their music. I started to appreciate them and their craft because let's be honest doing what they do is like a gift and a curse.

When I heard about Lorde last year I didn't pay attention but early this year when 'Royals' is all over the radio and music channel I give her a shot and listen to Pure Heroine. Now my playlist always have a song from Lorde. I don't memorize everything but its good for my ear and its also a good reminder. After a few, I started to research and damn it she's just 17!!!! What a talented girl. Girl power.

I can't pick a favorite since all of her songs are pretty much my life now or before or in the future and I'm pretty sure everyone who love her feel the same thing.

I saw one of her performance live and I read some comments that she's acting weird on stage, blah blah (reminder: she's just 17!). Let's face it some people are not good live but his/her album is beyond amazing and you just need to research before watching live or before purchasing a new record from a new artist unless you really have that faith that a new record from an artist will be amazing.

A little research will not hurt so do it and learn something you don't know about them or their album.

Here's my favorite lines from each song but mostly, I really love each songs

Tennis Court - Pretty soon I'll be getting on my first plane | I'll see the veins of my city like they do in space

400 Lux - We're never done with killing time | Can I kill it with you?

Royals - We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.

Ribs - And I've never felt more alone | It feels so scary getting old

Buzzcut Season - I live in a hologram with you

Team - We live in cities you'll never see on screen | Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things

Glory and Gore - You could try and take us (oh-oh) | But victory's contagious

Still Sane - Only bad people live to see their likeness set in stone

White Teeth Teens - I'll let you in on something big | I am not a white teeth teen

A World Alone - Maybe the Internet raised us, or maybe people are jerks.

No Better - Go all the way | Have your fun, have it all

Bravado - I'll find my own bravado

Million Dollar Bills - There's nothing I want but money and time | Million dollar bills and a tick tick tick tick

The Love Club - The only problem that I got with the club | Is how you're severed from the people who watched you grow up

Biting Down - Listen to the beats resound (It feels better biting down)

If being wrong's a crime, I'm serving forever

If being strong is what you want, then I need help here with this feather

If being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side

At the swingin' party down the line

Swingin Party | Lorde

Part of Something

I was super close on writing about depression and suicide but I really can't find the right words and at some point I do talk about it once in a while just like my previous post "Collide". At the end its just makes me so sad that even the people we all look up to are having depression. I also want for other people to realize that its not temporary but as I said before, some people can't really handle the reality shit.

Maybe its also a reminder for us that depression is real and it happens to a lot of people. Please let your family and friends know that there is someone like you that they can talk to or seek for a professional help.

I read on twitter that Hayley dedicated "Last Hope" to Robin Williams at their show in Denver. Please take time to listen because its also what I wanted to say and at least it came from another person not just from my own again. 

photos are from google 

Sane.

At some point twice a month at work, there's this day where I don't wear contact lens because I need to use the computer the whole day, no make up too just because, but I bravely wear Mulberry lipstick from Sleek sometimes. 

Its also a forget-the-outside-world and finish the major stuff that's been on my desk for the last two days. Its also the messy-desk-day I love doing it because it keeps me sane. Its also the day where my ear hurts so bad because I was wearing my headphones for hours blasting whatever playlist is on shuffle or better catch up on some podcast.

Whether people appreciate it or not the most important thing is, it keeps me sane. 

So just because I'm on my writers block, here are some selfies. 

"I'm good enough for me and all the things that I want to be" - Good Enough | Candy Hearts 

On Repeat . Daydreaming

Daydreaming by Paramore

After a year I finally get the meaning of this song. I'm sitting in a passenger seat right now stuck in traffic and of course the mantra is with me today. iPod is on shuffle on my current playlist (All The Ways You Let Me Down, Pure Heroine and Paramore) and Daydreaming played just when I was looking on the road and sometimes on the clouds while thinking about this mantra of mine for months now. Then boom I get it, I finally understand it. I've been putting 'daydreamer' on some of my profile description and at this moment everything make sense. What can I say, I'm a total daydreamer not just about this not-so-stupid mantra but almost everything and to be honest, I crossed some lines that was not good for other people. I'm happy that I crossed that because I'm not out of my mind. 

Once again, Paramore saved me and I can't stop smiling through this thing. 

Living in a city of sleepless people

Who all know the limits and won't go too far outside the lines

Cause they're out of their minds.

I wanna get out and build my own home

On a street where reality is not much different from dreams I've had

A dream is all I have...

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming

Daydreaming into the night

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming

Daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Creep past the hours like the shorter hand on the clock

Hanging on a wall of a schoolhouse somewhere

We wait for the bell

And we dream of somewhere else

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming

Daydreaming into the night

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming

Daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Its not that I won't remember where I'm from

Just don't wanna be here no more

It's not enough

(We're only half alive)

I'm gonna go

(We're only half alive)

Where the rest of the dreamers go

(We're only half alive)

Where the dreamers go

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time (a dream is all I have)

Daydreaming

Daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Daydreaming

Daydreaming all the time (a dream is all I have)

Daydreamer

We used to be half alive

Now I'm alright

I'm alright