Where She Went by Gayle Forman
Just because, I know what Adam feels. How to be left behind after all the effort that you've done for a person that he/she will just dumped you; being left behind without any explanation; being so messed up for the first couple of months and being so lost for a couple of years; being in a guessing game where you think of hilarious reason on 'why he/she left'; or thinking 'what in a world you've done to make him/her leave you'. Sucks that in a world that I'm living in, I keep on guessing what went wrong or what was I've done that make everything go like this even it happened years ago. Maybe it was good old fate or not or maybe I just don't know. Sometimes, I live just good like thinking that "everything happens for a reason" then sometimes, you just want to have a day in your own bed rejecting the outside world just to collect all the shits and fix yourself and let the world around us revolve without us in it.
As cliché as it is for me, the book is perfectly written on how the author wants it to happen even after all those years.
When Adam and Mia found each other again in NYC, (I'm saying one of my mantra that 'the real world or reality is not as small as the book or movie') I envied them because at some point they're probably in the right place at the right time and of course, even Mia left Adam for a second she ran after him when he left.
At the first paragraph, Adam have this mantra "It’s just one day, one twenty-four-hour period to get yourself through' and 'I got through yesterday, I’ll get through today.” Would you believe that I already shred a tear on that? I mean I know what can a 24 hours can do. In a basketball way of talking, in 40 or so minutes, you can win or you can lose a game. It can be a championship or not it is still a game that you badly want to win. It's a game and someone will win while the other will lose a fight. Basketball also taught me that you can make a huge change in a matter of seconds where you can still change the game, if you're losing you can still win and if you are winning you can still lose it not until the final buzzer. But majority I think the best teacher in life is life itself and that worked for me but mostly it was death who really changed the big game for me.
I'll continue on Chapter 10 later and if they will have that conversation where they explain everything to each other (and lived happily ever after) or if they continue to live in the opposite direction and there will be a proper closure then I'll guarantee you that I'll be having a huge ugly-cry moment.
Later!
~
WOW. I was blown away. I'm speechless. And yes, I had a huge ugly-cry moment.
Just like If I Stay, the majority of the book happened in just a day. Its crazy how a day will really turn out when you're not expecting anything.
And yes, I had a huge-ugly-cry moment when you just want to be in bed all day and let everything sink in my system. Yeah I know its just a book but I really feel what Adam felt the whole time. Its like been there, done that. Unfortunately, the closure did not come after all these years but after reading this book I now consider that some life turning events as an unspoken-closure. I may be look like crap looking for this fucking closure but mostly I don't care. But the book taught me that sometimes we don't need a closure-talk just to have a closure.
I really envied them when they decided to have a mini-final-tour in NYC for the whole night before they both leave for tour. Their connection is unquestionable because they grew up together and yes, somethings don't change that they still prefer a diner than any fine dinning restaurant.
I can't tell you how much I imagine crossing path from someone in the past but sometimes it help me to fall asleep and to be honest, that makes me feel better. Who knows when we will see a long lost buddy and when it happened we will never be prepared.
I mostly cried at the scene when Adam woke up and she relive the memories of Oregon through the pictures on the wall. Questions build up that not even a single photo of them was there but mostly he doesn't care about it until when he was ready to leave, Mia is returning his first guitar that was auctioned years ago. Then he felt alive again after being so lost for the past years. Its crazy how one person can change us for good or bad either way, we carry that happy or sad baggage over the years until we find ourselves again or until we totally moved on.
To be honest, I know for myself that I already moved on but I don't know why he's haunting me, why he's always on my mind when I read stuff like this. I know that I'm not looking for the person he was today but the one who I knew years ago. Major things changed and if people who knew that story may see me as a person who haven't moved on for 7 fucking years. I don't know what I need for me to drop this baggage on the cliff maybe if I know I already dropped this years ago. Someone maybe? But dang I'm sure that there is no 'someone' new around me. Maybe I'm always on the wrong place at the wrong time. When and where the perfect time then?
Mia and Adam reunited that day it will always be the best high light of their lives and once and for all, they never live with lies again. Even hate was there, love still wins.
I know I don't make sense but what Adam felt in the whole book, that was me for the past years. Sometimes its hard not to think about it but at the end of the day, we live without each other for years now and speaking of the present time, I was just a best friend. No big deal.
After reading 'Where She Went' I can't decide if I'm still excited to watch the upcoming movie because at some point, it doesn't make sense without Adam's point of view or maybe it will just be a huge cliff hanger ending without showing what happened years later.
I'm considering of re-reading both and maybe I will not move on until the movie is out.
"Someone always watch us from a distance" - AEivrynRV
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