Random . November 2023

 

I finally revisited my concert and even my basketball tickets even some years are missing and I don’t know where did I put them. 

Believe is such a strong word

Do I still need a closure when the universe already decided for me that I shouldn’t know the ending

Some things are hard to accept but eventually I will 

Running out of nice words to use so you will get it and not offensively

Been so extra sleepy these days 

Im so game to not finish #BigLittleLie but upon researching, maybe it will be exciting so I’ll just finish the series

Running to you has been my daydream lately

1 point loss always hit differently. #UAAP

You will always be accountable for all of it. Forever. 

Just rewatched Friends: The Reunion

Happy Birthday, Daddy. I miss you everyday. 

Happy Birthday, sis. 

Uninterrupted yoga will always be my favorite

I’ll be in Cubao in hours and that’s making me anxious. Idk

Finally decided to get my laptop fixed today and thankful that I didn’t leave it there and I just waited in less than an hour for it but dang that was expensive shit. 

Reunited with the bro after a year to watch a basketball where we are not sure if we will win anyway. Haha // and we are out of the chance to get that final spot for the Final Four 

Somewhat lost on what to do today just because how expensive I spent and because I have my laptop all day and I’m hanging out with friends on a weekday which I think I don’t deserve anyway.  

Then the bro and the dudes are complete after a year 

Gateway is so pretty now. 

We got a place to stay now in Cubao. Congrats bro! 

Back at home at 2am and my laptop is so pretty. Huhu It is finally working fully again after black screen for 3 years. 

Back to reality. 

So fucking tired to fix someone else's mistake. FUCKING TIRED. 

Having so much thoughts about things today that I wish I can instantly write it all down. I need some uninterrupted time to write. 

Totally forgot how convenient having a laptop. Huhu

I can’t use my personal issues as an excuse to anything and to anyone, it’s unacceptable #mysadlife

#dream Watsons shopping with Kitpol 

I just want to let go of all this feeling and put it on paper because my mind is going to explode 

I can’t even look at my own pictures because of this anxiety I’m having 

So random but made my morning. Khae randomly messaged me about the movie Monk and she said that we used to chat about it during college which I can’t clearly remember. When I first saw it I don’t know who to update about that. 

Facebook is such a dangerous place 

Decided to factory reset my laptop. Thanks Youtube! 

I envy a lot of people right now

Procrastination at its finest that I forgot how to multitask the past hour 

So hard to pretend that everything is okay and that I’m happy. I miss being genuinely happy. 

Need to hide my candles

Hello trauma, don’t eat me alive today until forever

I’m just so tired of everything

You guys are so lucky to not be struggling 

Everyone is in Hong Kong and I’m missing it right now 

I think I’m not seeing friends today 

Reading Matthew Perry’s book which I currently relate at some point

Always lost in dreamland

“Ask for me, I was just grateful to have made it one more day. When you are the bottom, the days are longer. I didn’t need an Oscar, I just need one more day.” - Matthew Perry 

“Addiction is like the joker. It just wants to see the whole world burn.” - Matthew Perry

Baby sitting

My obsession to have a table in my room continues after not thinking about it for months. Here we are re-arranging stuff at 2am on a weekday. Lol 

When you think everything is okay today and one text ruined your whole existence.  

Times like this you just want it to be over whatever and however it will be. 

Just want to punch something / someone right now. 

If I don’t text back it means I don’t have any nice things to say. 

Thank you for ruining this day and adding pile shit to my anxiety. 

I don’t have all the answers in this world. 

My loyalty seems like a bad habit

I need all the sleep I can get before doing the most draining work 

Days like this, I really can’t handle it all. Send help. / How to handle all these things all at once. 

How to be in different places at the same time 

Here we are procrastinating 

Finally, crying 

Deadlines. Who’s gonna die first? 

#dream . A double decker bus but here? How and when 

I haven’t asked it out loud but I screamed it in my head while crying. 

Watching Finals Game 1 of Women’s basketball. #UAAP

UP!!!! #UAAP Finals Game 1 (men’s) 

#dream planning a Malaysia and Singapore trip. When 

It isn’t Friday yet? Huhu

Didn’t workout on my usual schedule and I think my day is already ruined by that and I just want to rest all day. 

What to do 

How will you convince people to trust the process when I’m also having doubts about it

I envy you if you are not being bothered by the number of unread messages and emails on your phone. How to be unbothered. 

Bye November. 

On Repeat . Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)

Minimalist for 2 hours

October 20 2023 

My tattoo artist is celebrating his tattoo shop’s 15th year and for the month of October he put up some promo where at some point he is also challenging himself. 

He messaged me about it early this month and since my aunt is having a plan to get a tattoo, I inform her about the promo and she’s down with it. 

JT and I are exchanging messages about his promo and when my aunt was finally decided, I scheduled us and finalize the date. 

His promo was, 2 hours tattoo time for as many as you can minimalist design only for a minimum amount not included the plotting of design and the break time. 

My aunt a first timer got 5 tattoos in total. 

I don’t really have a plan yet but I will not just accompany my aunt and watch when I can definitely max the 2 hours promo. 

Planning my tattoo are really one of the distraction that I have from this reality.

I don’t plan my tattoo overnight unless I thought of it for months also the placement 

I don’t really like the minimalist idea but availing this promo can cross half of my tattoo list, to be honest also I need to feel some pain to know I’m alive. 

So I got a lot and to be honest you can look at it and just think that probably there’s no reason behind it all but maybe only one person or two can know the real meaning without me explaining it. I also got 2 text tattoo that is literally so obvious why 

I’m thinking of not oversharing it in here this time because I just want to preserve the moment and the real meaning behind it but I can share the simple version of it or not. Lol

• Feathers 
• Sea shell - I love the beach.  
• Hourglass - Paramore song “Running Out of Time”
• Paw print - for my doggies 
• Pizza - I just love pizza
• Star - for Karlo (been wanting one for him because “star is blind”) also my 3rd star tattoo
• Heart - I just realized that this is also my 3rd heart tattoo 
• Mini skull and a rose 
• Brainstorm
• Ice Cream - the album cover of Crybaby by Tegan and Sara
• “This Is Why” - Paramore album
• “Be brave” - FEU (I’ve been planning to get a FEU related tattoo ever since. I planned on the year where we will be a champion on men’s basketball but then I wasn’t able to be there inside MOA Arena the day we crowned as champions in 2015. I got a new reason now, October 2023 when we beat Ateneo in the 1st and 2nd round of UAAP S86. Lol)

My time reached 1 hour and 40 minutes of tattoo time. 

I can do 2 hours but I honestly ran out of design at that certain moment but a day after, ideas are coming in again. Well, I still have a lot to be honest but as I search for them I just think of how cliche some of the things I wanted so I really have to think about it. 

So far this session cover the years that I didn’t have any tattoo and I dedicate this session to 2013 and 2017. Haha

I can do 4 hours tattoo time with my skull and snake but minimal ones are different really. 

In 2018, I did 5 in one sitting this year I did 13-16 depends on how you will count a 4 paw print, 2 feathers, and the 5 words. Lol

I’m really against of it becoming patches but it is what it is now and I can do another theme on my right arm. 

Treat yourself and get some tattoos. - 10.24.2023