Random . December 2021

 

December 1 - ONE YEAR AFTER LASIK. 

ASIDE FROM REMEMBERING MY LASIK LAST YEAR. WTF ITS DECEMBER FIRST!

My favorite and now becoming my most hateful month. Huhu. Birth month and the stressful one as well. Help me survive this last month. THE LAST FUCKING MONTH OF 2021. 

I’m not a grandma’s girl but Mama was in my dream and I almost cry when I hugged her. I miss you, Mama. It’s been 3 years. 

One year post operation check up. 

I needed this one day off even it’s Thursday. Hehe 

Good to be out just like before even with mask. Hopefully there will be no another surge as we are all getting out more now. 

Then I just remembered all the things that I should be doing but totally forgot because I was out. It was good reminder why I usually get out before even a little bit late just to stay in Cubao for few hours. 

 

Blah blah blah. Last time I checked that was voluntary. Risking at your own.

Church. 12.05.2021

Huhu. I’m having hard time to sweat these days.  

I’m back with tea time since we are hitting 24-25 degrees. Yay. I can’t remember the last time being this cold during December. 

“We give what we have to show that we care” - The Boy Who Called Christmas 

Finally. Fixed the customization of ring tone on iPhone. Haha

Busy days. 

I started to read Mindy Kaling‘s first book and I’m hearing her voice saying all these words and I miss The Mindy Project. 

When all my day dream crash instantly. 

Cry baby. 12.09.2021

I was planning to watch HIMYM but the it will be removed from Netflix the end of the year. Sad. Good thing I did watch Prison Break early this year since it will be gone in there soon as well as some other good series. 

7 months of working out. 12.09.2021

#MoneyHeist. 

Undecided. 

Where to rant with my frustrations right now. 

Ok maybe I’m done for today and that just took less than an 1 hour. 

I will feel less guilty now since I was right after all. 

At least there was a good news today. 

Timbit’s craving - satisfied. Thank you, sissy. 

Life rants with thousand of words and I can’t reread all of those. 

Takes a lot of courage to be firm while a lot is affected. Not sure if I will regret. 

Will I ever get that chance? Will we ever? 

“Motherhood is a mental illness” - The Hustlers 

No 12.12 purchase. That’s a win. 

Have you ever been so numb that you just stare on whatever. #21 

#MoneyHeist is the current distraction. 

Productive Monday. Got to keep moving until this year ends. 

This line is longer than the usual and keeps on getting longer. I’m scared and a little bit anxious but I hope I get a lower number. #Wednesday

Yehey for lower number. 

Got home before lunch. 

I’m so tired with all the bs around.   

Don’t expect me to be nice if I haven’t eaten yet and no proper sleep. 

Why am I surprised with this kind of parenting. How can you do that. #21

Finally an uninterrupted work out. 

Blocked. #21 12.17.2021 

I usually don’t have answers to everything. Can’t predict what will be the next thing to be thrown on my face. 

That domino effect. 

NCIS Rule 91: when you walk away, don’t look back.

Emotionally exhausted. 12.17.2021 

Bye socials except twitter. I’ll be off most of the time until who knows. 

Reminding myself to be kind and nice by not talking as much as I can. Its just been too much for me lately and you don’t need to know that but just going to inform you in case you care a little. 12.17.2021

I just want to survive this year. 

Very crucial and busy last few days of the year. What is holiday season? 

This year shouldn’t end without me being inked. Last minute thinking on what represents this year to me. 

9 hours of sleep. Just what I needed. 

From #MoneyHeist to #DesignatedSurvivor

Some don’t really believe in VP Leni. This current event just prove what are the capabilities of VP which hopefully will be seen by the people who are still doubting her. She doesn’t do this for publicity because she’s been doing it for years, to be in the ground rather than being just up there doing some aerial inspection. People need to talk to people not just to look at them from afar. 

And that’s how I usually walk out. Lol. Good morning. Anxious but it’s still a shorter line today. #Wednesday 

Got home early and was able to finally have some Jollibee breakfast. Hehe. Been craving for weeks now. Thanks food panda! 

Good to know that people are still giving whether it’s just a small thing. All we need in this life is appreciation. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Why is everything being against all odds. This is so frustrating. I might cry. 

I need a Christmas miracle. :( 

Is it acceptable to be tired for giving so much away. :( 

There was so much grudge on my side that I still have until now. Ten years after. #mantra

That one person who makes me question a lot about myself that until the end I feel that all the effort was unappreciated. 

This is my favorite month but I think I’m not allowed to personally enjoy and love it anymore. 

It also takes a lot of courage to walk in these hallways lately 

Always a business as usual. 

Oh you don’t want to hear what I can say. 

Appreciate.

I somehow forgot that I prioritize my eyes than any material things. 

Scheduled my 2021 tattoo! 

And just like that it’s December 24th

Is it unfortunate that the holidays fall on a weekend this year? 

Spent the first hour of Christmas by fixing my Tumblr. 

Merry Christmas! 12.25.2021

There are certain things that we envy from other people. 

Couple of tattoo ideas are from different situations. 

Badly missing the convenience of having a laptop. 

Gonna date mela tonight just so I don’t get too emotional welcoming my birthday. 

Year end are usually emotional for me and it rained tonight. 

You know I’ll lie if I don’t say specific most especially on dates. Only applicable to personal stuff

Happy Birthday, self. 

My apps are down on 1 minute usage for I don’t know how long. 

Thankful for an uninterrupted morning. 12.27.2021 

Nowhere to go and before I go back being busy for the next few days, might as well finish #DesignatedSurvivor . Its not every year I get a free day during the 27th. 

Ending my birthday with an anxiety or panic attack. Huhu. Why 

That dream with you. I miss you. #21

I can’t think straight for solutions if I was caught in the act of solving one. I’m relieve that at some point everything got some solutions even it was a temporary one. Back on track. 

Everything went ok so its tattoo time. 12.29.2021 

After a busy day with unexpected turn of events and a 5 hours of tattoo, I’m tired. Finally in bed at 4:41am of December 30th. Good thing today is a holiday. 

I sill have a few thing need to be done before family time on the last day of the year. 

2 weeks. #21

Last day of 2021. Who would’ve thought. 

Last day of the year and people are still being inconsiderate. Hello. Holiday season isn’t a surprise to everyone why make it a reason for your unpreparedness. 

I’m somehow not in a mood right now so I’m patiently waiting for a buzzer beater plot twist or can 2022 be more nicer to us all. This year as well as 2020 are too exhausting. 

Painful Snake

 Story time but how to start? 

I will never let the year 2021 to pass without me getting a tattoo. 

After 2018, I finally committed to “at least one tattoo per year” but it seems that December will always be the tattoo month. Even December stressed me out lately and I’m slowly starting to hate it, I don’t have much time to unwind and mostly I’m out of ideas on what tattoo to get unless I like and need to get a specific tattoo then I will but not during summer season. 

A few days before Christmas I finally messaged my tattoo artist on details but this time I don’t have plans. I just want to get a tattoo and I need it before end of the year. I didn’t told him that though. Ever since I got the skull he already made it ready if ever we will plan to continue it and his few suggestion is a snake. I’m so looking forward to it since I’m currently obsess with snakes because of the reptile people on Youtube. Unfortunately even it is easy to have a snake, I’ll pass since I’m not sure how really to take good care of them and the weather in here is very different which at some point, they do adjust. 

I was born under year of snake, btw. Which at some point I want to relate on why I like snakes. 

I planned an alternative if ever I will not be able to do my thigh but I can’t plan a tattoo quickly because I don’t like to end up regretting it years later. I had few small pieces but I’m in doubt so, NO. One reason why I pushed the continuation of the skull. 

One more reason why I want to get a tattoo for now is to feel something. I’ve been struggling from here and there in regard of all aspects of life. 2021 was full of surprises and like 2020, it still control us even it started to loosen up. 

2021 throw me some things that I didn’t expect to happen and by almost the end of the year, I made one major life decision. 

I wanted to make sure that I can still feel pain. That I’m still alive despite of everything. 

Physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain. Take note of that. 

~

We agreed on the snake idea and now, how to execute but JT sent me some ideas already but it’s hard to plan it on chat. 

 

Went there before 8pm and we start by 10pm. Ended by 3am.  

Brain storming for 2 hours doesn’t hurt.

I love it. Even I wasn’t able to take much pictures because it was the most painful tattoo to date! Haha I was holding tightly on that chair and I can’t look at it longer while being outlined or shaded. I was planning to read a book or write something while it was happening but no. Haha the pain gods wants me to really feel something since I asked for it. Omg. Now, I do have an answer to the question “what is the most painful tattoo”. Lol. 

Don’t be fooled, the skull was already 2 years old. 

Till next session! Which I don’t know when. Haha 

ps. Let’s consider this as my 2021 year end post because I wasn’t able to reflect on my birthday and I don’t have much time to compose another one to reflect this year. 

On Repeat . Bite Me

Hey you, you should've known better, better to fuck with someone like me
Hey you, forever and ever you're gonna wish I was your wifey

Don't act so innocent
This was no accident
You planned this in the end
And now it's over

Say what you want to say
You lied and I got played
You threw it all away
And now it's over

Just face it
We didn't make it
You bit off more than you can chew
Can you taste it?

Hey you, you should've known better, better to fuck with someone like me
Hey you, forever and ever you're gonna wish I was your wifey
Should've held on, should've treated me right
I gave you one chance, you don't get it twice
Hey you, and we'll be together never, so baby you can bite me

Don't hold your breath
'Cause you're still choking on your words
Those things you said
Might be the last ones that I heard

So come pick up your clothes from the front yard
Sprinklers on, burn the rest in the backyard
Should've had the guts just to say goodbye
Now you're gonna have regrets for the rest of your life

Just face it
We didn't make it
You bit off more than you can chew
Can you taste it?

Hey you, you should've known better, better to fuck with someone like me
Hey you, forever and ever you're gonna wish I was your wifey
Should've held on, should've treated me right
I gave you one chance, you don't get it twice
Hey you, and we'll be together never, so baby you can bite me

I bet you taste me on the tip of your tongue
Tip of your tongue, tip of your tongue
I fell fast when I know I shoulda run
Know I shoulda run, know I shoulda run

I bet you taste me on the tip of your tongue
Tip of your tongue, tip of your tongue
I fell fast when I know I shoulda run
Know I shoulda run, know I shoulda run

Hey you, you should've known better, better to fuck with someone like me (Like me)
Hey you, forever and ever you're gonna wish I was your wifey
Should've held on, should've treated me right (Yeah yeah yeah)
I gave you one chance, you don't get it twice (Yeah yeah yeah)
Hey you, and we'll be together never, so baby you can bite me

 

On Repeat . Thrive

Thrive by Cassadee Pope 

On Repeat . Dancing With The Devil … The Art of Starting Over

 Dancing With The Devil … The Art of Starting Over by Demi Lovato

 

Random . November 2021

Time with family. Happy Birthday, Chubby cheeks :) 

No concrete plans for this whole week because of sudden changes but I’m glad to finish some of it today.  

PMS. 

This darkness is giving me chills. Lol I got to turn on the lights tomorrow. 

The good old days of SM is somehow back. Few people at night and I was able to score some snack and that overdue Potato Corner! 

I’ve finished some mini-series that I’ve been watching on Netflix that I don’t know if I can still finish one more book this year. Hehe. I’ll try my best. 

And just like that another week was over. 

Happy Birthday, Daddy. I miss you everyday. 11.06.2021

Happy Birthday, Sissy. 11.07.2021 

Church after so long. I didn’t go to church for some amount of year before but it was different this time because of the pandemic and not just my choice. 

The difference of church and state as well as the current reality and modern life we are living. 

Such a very long Sunday but somehow worth it. 

Listening to my current favorite Billie Eilish album for me not to feel guilty and for me not to cry. 

Should I write now or just let it pass. 

I miss you but …. #21

Walls are back again. 

Concerts should be a safe space. 

I just don’t want to risk going to the mall for nothing. 

Please don’t risk your kids. They need to get out as well but please don’t bring them on crowded places. 

Why can’t I say “no” and be firm about it? Still trying to figure out some ways for things to work even there will be a consequences and I’m very much aware of those. 

6 month mark of working out everyday was a little bit cut today because of M. 11.09.2021

Quick de clutter night. 

People who feels so entitled. Ughh. 

2 days being distracted while doing my workout. Making me upset right now. 

The universe doesn’t want me to buy anything from 11.11 

Finally. An uninterrupted work out. 

And then it hits me again. 11.11.2021 

“Sacrifices for nothing” / “Giving away too much and not getting any in return” 

Sad truth. 

THE LAST TIME. 11.11.2021 

I FUCKING NEED ANOTHER TATTOO. MIGHT AS WELL FINISH MY THIGH. 

That vivid dream. Huhu. 11.12.2021

Happy Birthday, Mama. Miss you. 11.13.2021

Tried a cup of coffee today. Not sure if the palpitations after is still there. 

WTF IS HAPPENING. POLITICS BEING A CIRCUS. 

I’m off for now on socials. I have so much thing to do. 

Lol. Wtf. My screen time is so high. 

The last time I reached my twitter limit was when PNoy died and the latest is today. 

POLITICS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU CAN’T EVEN DECIDE RIGHT IF YOU WILL RUN OR NOT OR WHO WILL SAVE YOUR ASSES AND STILL YOU WANT TO BE A PRESIDENT. THIS IS NOT YOUR GRADE SCHOOL OR HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM. 

THE MOA GLOBE!!!! HAHAHA / ok it was just for promo but it was fun. 

Cleaning on a Sunday because it is the only day that I can. 

All I want to do now is to fix my hard drives. Huhu 

A bottle of a new purchased 250ml Bactidol fell. Huhu

Taylor Swift on repeat for the next few weeks. Hehe 

Hehe. Don’t lecture me religiously when you have bad choice for the government and this country. 

Yay. Maximize time as I squeeze some work for tonight. 

Gifts for the cousins arrived today! Can’t wait to give it to them on Christmas. Haha

Some things are really beyond our control. 

Huhu. I’m craving some Tim Hortons donuts. 

When plane tickets are pretty cheap but I still don’t like to take the risk. 

I’m a little bit down but now I’m back on track. 

It’s been a year since I got the go signal for lasik! 11.19.2021

I was finally able to travel with my dude but it was just a dream. Huhu

When people don’t like to adjust, you have to accept to do it all. Some people don’t really have much consideration in life. 

Finally decided to use my iPhone as the personal phone and the Android the work phone. 

Why is it frustrating that my online orders didn’t arrive today? Haha

Yay. I’m switching phones today!!! / Switched!!!  11.21.2021 

Some gem you find on Twitter out of nowhere. Hehe. Hi tita!! :) 

Done with almost everything I need to do and it’s just Monday. 

It always feel like we have to start all over again. 

Anxiety here we go again. 

Why does the line today is longer than usual. Huhu I want you be done before lunch. / long line but I got a lower number than before. 

Productive Wednesday. Was able to finish everything. 

Early date. 11.25.2021 

Was able to see some friends today due to an unfortunate event. 

My mom have been eaten by K-drama now. 

Major life decision. 11.25.2021

What is the future of that ass long letter. 11.27.2021

Hello, mela. 

I’m interested to this movie but I’m so sleepy in the first hour. Lol 

Busy Sunday. Lets do this. 

Wasted 2 hours already the past days. I guess it was okay I’m still on the right track of time. Haha I’m not always like this but if schedule is full I have to do it on time. 

I need all the music of the strong women on my playlist. 

I’m not going to unfriend you just because of your political view but please think about your children before voting such candidate. We are somehow and still surviving this pandemic don’t let another chaos happen to this country for the next years. Please do know your candidate capabilities and on what will be the future if they win. 

Pandemic + selfish candidate = doomsday. 

Done with busy day for this month. 

Why does this sound so bad for the rest of the year? Huhu. I might cry. 

2 years in a row. Huhu. 

On the other news we have budget for coffee for the planner. 

Stressed out. 

Starbucks run. 

IKEA craze was real. Omg. Good thing I was able to do that in Indonesia in 2018. Hehe but I still want to visit the branch here but maybe after everyone else. Hehe 

On Repeat . Red (Taylor's Version)

On Repeat . Fearless (Taylor's Version)

On Repeat . Hakbang

 

Hakbang by Cheats

Random . October 2021

Hello again, rainy days 

Why I can’t stop scrolling today. I just want some food that I can quickly order even I know that I will not order. Lol. 

Basically, I don’t know what I want to eat lately. Lol

Sometimes we need patterns in life. 

Now I figured out why I was thought to do word search when I was young. Haha

The mystery of #Manifest continues. 

To the 3 guys who attacked M last weekend, I hope you will not do that again to anybody. Good thing he knows how to fight and he will fight you really. 

UAAP, it was as close to reality as it can be but it was just a dream. 

No fun on fixing other people’s phone. Lol

There’s hope. Today was a good one in a very long time. #LabanLeni2022 10.07.2021

Here are the clowns and someone just dig his own grave. #Politics 

This is not a game. That position that you all wanted is not a joke. If you think it is the only way to help, kindly withdraw. If you just file for candidacy because of your party or just self interest, withdraw. That position requires a lot from you and if you haven’t thought of it just because the current one is just chilling, please back off. Don’t waste money for your campaign, use it to help people. We all deserve someone better than the current one. It’s not just about power. Kindly register and vote wisely. #Politics 

I’m a little upset with some things so, I bake. It was so overdue. 

Baked some cookies. 

Ate one whole bag of chips. 

Just cleaning out some left over hair dye. Don’t mind the experimental stage. The lighter hair/blonde days are made for a quick hair dye whenever I want. 

Finished another book even it took be a month and a half. What is commitment. Lol

Why does my cookies are so good. Lol thanks Chef RV! 

The power of blue ruin. 

My hair isn’t a blank canvas for nothing 

Waiting game. I’m so hyped that i want to finish that needs to be done this week. 

Dinner with fam even I’m busy and that shift my mood from unplanned schedule but yeah, I guess it was okay. 

Been craving a lot of food from pizza to pasta, burger and the undying craving of potato corner. Huhu It’s been weeks since and I haven’t had anything yet. Not sure if it’s just my laziness or because of Apple Cider. Lol 

I hate that distraction at night when I have to think about it before I sleep. Why you can’t wait in this reality. Huhu 

Geez people. I keep my socials public for some reason. If you are one of the people who happens to be at the same place where I am on a daily basis, you know where to find me. Don’t be a creep on the other end of this medium. Thank you. 

It was a long day. I’m just done with things that I need to do on Thursday but it’s already 1am of Friday. Few more stuff for Friday but first, sleep. 

I’m just not up to talk to people lately. Just too much to do. 

Burger for dinner but I’m a little unsatisfied maybe we can try again soon. 

Such a weekend distraction. #YOU

I love Ber months but there are a lot of things that need to be done these days. 

I just don’t want to talk to anybody. Feels like everything is wrong. 

Am I trapped in this reality for so long. 

As much as I also want to go back to normal like you all do as of today, what we all been through is no joke. I just don’t want to forget that. 

I’m once again questioning my life decisions. 

Feels like I need some me-time or else I’ll break down soon. 

I’m so anxious right now that I just want my errand trip tomorrow will be a success. It’s been a while and hopefully everything will be okay. 

Still so anxious if I’ll get a number for this errand day. Huhu. Can we speed up the line now so I’ll know. It’s just 7am. 

This anxiety is just building up. Ugghh 

Less anxious now. Whew

I wish Android will release even a limited mini phones that can compete with iPhone mini. Missed the chance with the Samsung s10e which is not worth it by now. 

Errand day wasn’t as successful as I want it to be but there’s progress at least. 

I still want to write but I’m already exhausted. 

Busy day and so many things to do. 

I fucked up my almost perfect excel file that I’m editing. Haha good thing I noticed immediately before it got worse. Haha 

Hello daddy. I miss you. 10.24.2021

Fixing my phone. Should I do the move from Android now? Hmm 

One can’t really keep their mouth shut. Lol

I guess you can’t have it back. It’s my time to do my move. 

Sad that there are people who really judge you for some words you said. 

There are people who really can’t respect others. 

Voting for the right person to win is also a way of picking the future of your kids. 

Busy week and I’ll get all the rest that I can get. 

Whoa. I took too much steps ahead. 

Can’t sleep. Too much thoughts. 

Thankful for a beautiful morning and Grab. 

People and their never ending complains

Thankful for wearing a mask. Saves me a lot from doing irritating facial expressions. Lol 

Jeeptrip after 1 year and 10 months!!! As much as I miss it, I still somehow don’t want to do it regularly. 

So much things done and still a lot to do in 2 days with some adjustments. 

Finally. The Birkenstock that I’ve been eyeing for years. 

Flexibility it is. Hehe. 

I can do it but this is me saying “no”. 

Question of the day: “Am I wrong?” Well, I know I’m not. 

Basically, all this time you still don’t know how to separate colors and numbers.

Stop looking at other people. Look in the mirror first. 

When you don’t learn and never knew about boundaries. 

Tell your side of the story we both know the real one, anyway. 

Don’t pass to anybody the personal problem that you have. You should know by now that we all have one that can only be fix or faced by our own and not by anybody else.