Random . December 2019

December!!!! 

Daddy!!!! :( #justadream 

Favorite month but seems just normal. 

Online shops leave me alone!!!! Haha 

Still craving that Macao Milk Tea and Pepperoni Pizza from SnR

Feels like I’m traumatized with the book last month. Lol. Jk. Been catching up on series from the first half of HTGAWM to the half of TWD to the season 9 of AHS.

I’m not sure when will I feel the Christmas spirit but I’m thankful for people who are making effort on decorating. Maybe I’ll feel it soon. 

Busy week is almost over. 

Sorry people my minimalism and practicality is affecting people. Haha 

Looks like it was a success, on to the next. 

Thankful for little things that reminds me of living life. 

Even it’s just for fun, you did just introduced yourself to people. 

I really do miss you. 

After months, home town friends unite. 

Macao Milk Tea - ✔️

SnR Pizza - ✔️

Back on busy days. 

We can laugh on jokes but fucking know the boundaries. 

Whoever thought that end of the year is fun, well it’s not. 

Maybe this part wasn’t the very well thought of. 

I still choose the busy days than year-end travel chaos. 

I should really start to read the book for this month than just scrolling online stores and the newsfeed. 

Joker was a little bit disturbing but mostly sad. 

Weekend rest before another busy week. 

Daddy. #anotherdream 

Lets just keep that at bay. I will can never imagine where will my frustrations take me if such encounter. 

Maybe I’m a grinch or maybe it just feels a normal day. 

Merry Christmas. 

Whoa. Another tattoo courtesy as a gift from my brother! Yay. 

I believe in the power of prayer and hopefully everything will be okay. 

I know that that rejecting all the feelings and emotions for the past months will be resulting to a day or two breakdowns. Happy birthday, self. 

Early-work-alarm on a day that I just want to procrastinate. 

Chill night with hometown friends. Happy birthday to us, Nikka. 

I really hope you are okay. #21 1228

14th and a little retouch before the year ends. 

Glad to hear an update from you and to know that you are okay. #21 1229

29 going on 30

I’m not sure if I want to do this as a birthday or year-end post.  

Before I went back rewinding in my head this roller-coaster-year first thing first,

Happy Birthday Hayley Williams

Of course,

Happy Birthday, self. 

Wow this year was so fast. 

Some highlights,

• Got to travel to Taiwan for almost a week with my dude
• Saw Lhea again after years
• Went back to Baguio and La Union with college friends 
• Been rejecting too much emotional drama
• Supported my alter ego nonstop 
• Watched basketball alone
• Rejected to write much this time
• Still thankful for music
• Been more introvert this year
• Been too stressed 
• Almost did it
• Got my 13th tattoo
• Rejected to at least hang out with friends (they’re busy too. Sorry)
• Countless anxiety attack for the past months 
• Chose to hangout with my dogs than seen in public
• Loved some days of life
• Treasured the weekend by not thinking too much 
• Still trying to live at the moment and not over thinking about life
• Still not over to the fact that people come and go
• Maybe stopped to be fascinated with birthdays and anniversaries
• Still somehow traumatized with the past years
• Learned some tips on how to survive life
• Patience is a virtue

30 is a big deal for some that I can’t believe that I’m 30 today and I worked all day. Not sure on what will happen but better be busy than be too emotional about looking back and forward on what is next. 

I was dreaming of spending the New Year somewhere else but maybe I’ll give another try on celebrating it here. Plus I don’t like the holiday craze where everyone is traveling. I don’t like to be stuck on an airport or hustling with other things or people by the first hour of 2020. Busy days than chaos elsewhere. 

I’ll try to travel more next year. Maybe an alone trip somewhere. 

I wrote something during the mid-year that I wasn’t able to finish but I’ll put it here as reminder. 

``

Mid year was always a challenge and this year is no exception. 

I’m not doing well for then past month and still I’m thriving to fight all of this for me not to give up. It is easier to give up but I’m choosing to fight. 

Some days are good, some are not. 

This will be the time that I want to leave to have some vacation again but not yet. Maybe my next travel will be by next year. 

My insomnia is way worst these days and I’m trying to assess it more on how will I’m going to deal with it. 

Trying to be a healthy eater but it’s quite expensive so I’m not limiting myself to a certain diet. 

I read a book. That’s one good thing. 

Applying in real life on how to say no even it's killing me inside. 

``

I thought the past year was already though but I guess we still have to prepare for the worst. We can never tell what’s the future holds and sometimes it’s still scary. 

I’m somehow reminded that there’s the unknown. 

Nothing fancy being 29 going on 30. I’ll be forever 27.

Still somewhere in between this past, present and future life, I feel that there’s something missing. 

On to the next phase. 

On Repeat . Less Noise: A Collection of Songs by a Band Called The Maine

Less Noise: A Collection of Songs by a Band Called the Maine – The Maine

I'm really not that updated-fan of The Maine that I just find this album recently when I was looking for an acoustic of Saving Grace on Youtube. Now, I can't stop playing this and somehow regret that I didn't see them when they were here few months back. 

Friday and the 13th

Ever since I got my mermaid scale in 2014, I already crave for another thigh tattoo but I was not sure on what to get. I’m confused on what to get and then I got something in my mind but I’m so not sure if its worth it. 2016 I got my cross which are known by few people. 

Fast forward to 2019 when I’m currently having 12 tattoos together with the last 5 that I got last December. I’m finally was able to add a thigh tattoo again. 

Ever since I was watching tattoos show in the states, and having the knowledge of the competition of tattoos here in the Philippines, I always wonder on what it feels like on having an on-the-spot tattoo where people are watching and all that. I’m not game to that but I’m just curious about it. I’m curious on artist when they ask on a post if who’s game to be a model for a tattoo that they want to do not particularly for a competition but also for their on benefit. 

If you ask me way back before if I will be game for such my answer will be no and that already changed. 

JT the tattoo artist of my brother as well as the one who is responsible for my last 5 tattoos posted on who are willing and available for a portrait tattoo and so many of his friends commented and I messaged him asking on what particularly his idea on this “portrait tattoo” I was so hesitant since when you say portrait for sure it will be a face of a person and I’m not really into that even when it comes to family. Portrait tattoos are not in my tattoo plans since I don’t want to regret that and I don’t like for it to look like shit years later. 

Weeks passed he wasn’t able to message me that I assumed that he was busy since he was posting some work until he messaged me weeks later. I saw his message and I didn’t open it, I was actually thinking of an excuse on why I don’t like to not until hours later one thing triggered the rebel in me that wanted to be reckless for a night. 

I asked him what’s on the table for this tattoo ideas, he was asking if I’m into anime or anything that will be under “portrait” category. I’m not into it I don’t even like having a face as a tattoo until he sent me bunch of photos and on of those was skull which is on my tattoo list for years.

Originally I wanted a skull and roses (I know, cliché). 

I’m not sure why I liked skull as a tattoo maybe because some of the artists/bands that I’ve been listening to have skulls on their merch or maybe my fascination about the series “Bones” or maybe it was because of the lyrics “I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me”. Whatever it was, it’s not about the generic reason if you google the meaning behind a skull tattoo. 

So when I opened up to JT that skull-roses has been on my list, he showed me some ideas and he specifically say that he want to do something different than the normal skull-roses tandem and I get it its too common and as he explain what his idea on this skull-flower thing he specifically said that he wants a realism but he doesn’t like a skull tattoo that have a jaw (BOOM END OF THE STORY. LETS GET IT STARTED.) I showed him some sketch that I screenshot from Pinterest years ago, skull without jaws. The tattoo gods wanted this collab to happen. YES. 

I was there by 8PM. This whole collab discussion went for hours. We started by 11PM and I’m not so sure on what will happen or on what time we will finish. Reckless on a Friday night is the theme of the day. 

So the story behind the jaw was, basically when you see a skull tattoo it is always smiling. Weird that if you looked at it at any kind of skull it is scary and always smiling at you. Creepy. I also killed that idea when I saw jawless skull on Pinterest. 

Since I wanted it with a flower, he also suggested Peony (I ALSO LIKE PEONY!!!!!) maybe not this kind but still it’s peony!!!

He showed me this one picture where the skull grown another kind of flower inside it and that’s another idea for this. 

We are set.

As a person who respect artist of any kind I know that I should also listen to his idea and somehow suggest some things if I’m not into it that’s why it took so long before we started. I just made it clear that the main thing was a skull and a flower and I let him do the rest. Gave him the space on my thigh and I just let him do his thing. 

I almost cry on the process. 

I WANTED A 2019 TATTOO. 


MOSTLY. I NEEDED THAT.  


I’m sure some saw it already but I was wearing skirt for 2 weeks and I know people noticed (the skirt) but even I wasn’t dressing up nicely, fuck off I’m nursing a new tattoo. Haha

Today is December 10 (fully healed) and I haven’t posted about it unless people will stalk my Facebook profile but I haven’t told my friends about it, I’m not yet ready for the world to see it for now. Its not that I’m worried with their reaction or comment but I just want to keep this to myself for a little longer. Maybe I’ll be showing it off when people forget my 2-weeks-skirt-outfit or maybe when I’m just ready. 

My mom was as usual can’t get over it most especially when she saw that it was a skull. I was honestly having a little doubt if I did it right because I can’t get over with her reaction then privately I asked my nephew on what is the very quick reaction if people see skull and he said “death”. 

Maybe 2% of the reason was “death” but definitely there’s 98% different reason behind this and I can’t list it all. 

I agree to add up on this next time and obviously still far from over and I can’t wait but before finishing this up, I’m going to prioritize finishing my forearm and another wrist tattoo. 

Can’t wait.

Maybe I’m done with 2019 tattoo? Or not? Who knows. 


Btw. This took 4 hours (11PM - 3AM)

November 15 2019 - skull on a peony

Gifts

Christmas is coming. Its gift giving time of the year once again.

As much as I get old and get the expensive side of the holiday season, it somehow became just an ordinary day that is free from work.

We love to get gifts and receiving something expensive or an unexpected one are nice but I realized the past years, that it's ok just to give something that we can use on a daily basis even it is something that can be gone after a few months.

If I do this to some friends, I know they will never get the idea of it but I use to give Gem just simple ones like a yellow socks that I know she will love.

It’s ok to give gifts such as the necessities (cotton buds, alcohol, wipes, etc) as long as it is usable and as long as you know that person is using such. I know its nonsense, people will also comment to you that you didn’t even think about it but they don’t have any idea that you somehow thought of it too. It is so much better than give them something that one day will just be collecting some dust in the corner.

For someone who is using those basic necessities, it's a gem. For you to less a little bit of that expense to that person is a big help or at least next time she/he got some spare money to buy something else because she/he saved up with the gift that you gave. Just spice it up with some presentation.

I get it. We want something that’s expensive that we don’t usually buy but for someone who is doing a regular grocery shopping it will be less on their next trip.

Just a tip, give something that will be used and will be useful for that person enough with the picture frame and mugs. Enough with the things that might be useful but end up not being used for years.

For kids, give something that’s educational or useful not because it's cute, not because it’s Hello Kitty or Mickey Mouse.

Maybe let just give them an envelope with some cash or gift certificate. Less stress on your part and they can get what they want.

As much as stressful our surrounding right now, I hope we will all have a very peaceful holiday season. It's my favorite month too.

Happy holidays :)