Maybe 4 years ago, I will answer yes but in a span of those years, I proved that I don't need to.
I do have the fear of missing out but I realize that I have to focus on what's in front of me, on what's my responsibilities are and not on the distractions around. When I get distracted obviously I will not be focused on what's needed to be done and that will cause me being very unproductive.
How did I changed my mind?
I was bullied in social media.
Posts here and there, at first you will think who is this person talking about until you hit the clues. I don't want to read those post because I know the truth, thankful for my instinct I know which is which.
I was going to block that account but first I have to see the profile for me to block that and the latest clues are pointing at me. It was my turn to be introduced to the public on who am I to this person and on how this person wanted people to see or know me.
My heart crushed. I cried. I probably failed my dad.
I don't know how will I get out of the house. Knowing that I was introduced that way. I was a bad person. I was a very disappointing daughter.
I was blaming myself on everything.
I hit rock bottom.
Until today, it takes a lot of courage just to get out of bed and prove myself that those certain posts was not me. That I don't need to blame myself on everything and one thing is for sure, I didn't fail my dad.
That was me with the consequences of wanting to know everything, I hurt myself, I disappointed myself, I let myself hit rock bottom just because I somehow wanted to see those post. I wanted to know if it will hurt me or not even I know the truth to myself. I risk the whole me on such battle where I was just about to prepare but I was already defeated.
After days of battling my own thoughts, I probably didn't change everything but I can say that I've changed some of my perspective.
It didn't happen overnight. It was a process that until now I'm trying to fight. Until now, I know that certain people who will see me are judging me from those chosen words. It was very traumatic.
There's the fear of missing out but we basically will not miss out if we know where to focus our attention. Each of us have a life to live we may depend on some family and friends but it doesn't mean we have to, all the time. We have to take care of ourselves too even you pledge to prioritize your daughter or your son. You have to take care of yourself before you can do the duties of taking care of others.
People usually know much more than the old gossip style nowadays because of Facebook where people fucking update everything.
I decided to not totally ditched Facebook but to control my usage. I browse once in a while and I may or may not saw your latest post but even if I did I don't use that as a starter pack just to have a topic to talk about. I just saw it, that's it.
I decided not to post because I don't want to have a conversation about a certain post.
Social media is eating us up.
I still use Twitter, Instagram and even Tumblr.
We don't need to be an open book to all the people we mingled to. Maybe at some point we were open about our lives but it doesn't mean that we have to be for the rest of our lives. Trust issue, people have that. People will know along the way of life on who to trust with their life. People will know who are the real and the fake ones.
We don't need to require people to be open if they want privacy.
We have to stop comparing ourselves to others. I know it's hard to avoid such but we have to stop. You should know yourself more than knowing the life of your neighbor.
Contentment is the key. It doesn't require much but it's hard to earn because you should accept to yourself that you are willing to be satisfied with everything.
We don't need to know everything just because we are afraid of missing out but we just don't need that.
If you know how everything works, can you do everything all at once? If the answer is YES, wtf. what are you?!. If NO, then you just answered my question.
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