Random . June 2021

 

Rainy season. 

Finally. After a week I got time to watch Lucifer. 

How can I go back on watching people when I’m so hesitant on staying out 

Just realized that I’m somehow back on watching people. 

Some people really can’t understand the process and they don’t have lots of patience. 

Billie and CHVRCHES !!!!! 

Oh hello old friends. 

Workout and eat a lot and detox. 

Promise to start reading another book after watching Lucifer. 

“Never loving anyone is far worse than loss” - Linda #Lucifer S05E16

Books over movies, always but I’ll watch a Stephen King movie than be stuck for a month or so reading the book. Ooops

When you want to give someone a second chance but you know that it will just be wasted. 

Dreamed that I was living somewhere in Manila and spending much time with my dude. 

It is official. I’ve been working out consistently for a month now. 06.09.2021

3 teeth gone just like that. 06.12.2021

Save yourself. 

I wasn’t prepared with this intro of #NewAmsterdam S03

When you can’t decide for yourself that you still need to consult your friends. Lol 

I’m once again admitting that I’m tired emotionally. 06.15.2021 18:56

When you decided to wear shoes again then it ends up betraying you for not wearing it for so long. 

Eye check up then rushed home to be vaccinated. What a day. 06.17.2021

I’m starting to be sick of malls again. 

When you are not invited but you insist to go. Lol 

I haven’t been sick for a year and it’s so weird to feel feverish after being vaccinated. 

So thankful for the Apple Watch

Hello, I miss you. You’ve been in my dream too much lately. #21

Take good care of yourself first. 

You are the type where you don’t know what to prioritize. You just depend on the world and probably to the people around you.  

Same star sign can clash and not be matched forever. 

Good thing we don’t have the same metrics. 

After all these years, you still don’t know your priorities. 

I believe that you can do something more for yourself but first things first. 

That smell of a rainy air.

I know that I will cry watching #ThisIsUs and I’m still not used to that. 

I think I’ll be off from socials for a while. 

Mental breakdown. 

RIP PNoy. 06.24.2021 

That’s why articles and some write up are important to read because not everyone can be interviewed but we have time to read all of it. This is the only time once again that I read some good ones and some make me tear up. 

Just right after the livestream of your funeral there was a thunder then it rained hard. #PNoy

I don’t know why I’m emotional on his death. Maybe because I miss seeing a decent person on a position even with flaws but at some point we all know that we were in a good place. 

I’m not so sure why but this funeral is somehow giving me some hope. Please kindly register if you haven’t. 

1 year of undercut. 06.27.2021

Maybe after all this time everything is for my mental health. 

Indonesia is one of the places that I want to go back to but I guess it will be so long before that happens. 

How come it is already end of June. 

This might be one of the shortest monthly post I’ve done this year. 

I’m so inspired to write because of some articles that I’ve read lately. It might not be read right at this moment but I know for sure somewhere along the way it will be read by people even if it’s nonsense. 

Done with watching #ThisIsUs so right now I’m obligating myself to read or write before catching up on TV series. Reminded myself of balance on every hobby. 

Listening to #LinyaLinyaShow and I think I should go back to the photography hobby. 

For tonight, listening to music and maybe write some thoughts. 

Uneasy because of the things that needs to be done. / Done for today. 

Tomorrow is another month. 

On Repeat . I Quit Drinking

We used to be
The life of the party
Body to body
Dance the night away
Shoot tequila straight

Obsessed with each other
And down for another
Round until last call
Wasn't alcohol

Keeping us up 'til the sun came around
Thought we'd stay drunk forever, but now

You're the reason there's no whiskey anywhere inside this house
You're the reason all my friends know I don't go downtown
You're the reason I hate champagne, never used to turn it down
You're the only thing I want when one drop hits my mouth
But baby, you're the reason
I quit drinking

We used to be
Dizzy all morning
Hungover, pouring
Cups of coffee black
Kiss and crawl right back

Under the covers
Down for another
Hour in that bed
Now, I'm here instead

Waking up sober, it feels kind of nice
Except that I can't sleep at night

You're the reason there's no whiskey anywhere inside this house
You're the reason all my friends know I don't go downtown
You're the reason I hate champagne, never used to turn it down
You're the only thing I want when one drop hits my mouth
Baby, you're the reason
I quit drinking

I quit thinking (I quit thinking)
Staring at the ceiling (Ohh)
And all my cabernet is down the kitchen sink, yeah (It's down the kitchen sink, yeah)
I quit mixing (I quit mixing)
All my drinks and feelings
It's not fixing that you're gone

You're the reason there's no whiskey anywhere inside this house
You're the reason all my friends know I don't go downtown
You're the reason I hate champagne, never used to turn it down
You're the only thing I want when one drop hits my mouth (The only thing I want, baby)
Baby, you're the reason
Ohh, you're the reason
I quit drinking

 

On Repeat . Wildfire

Wildfire by Cautious Clay

                                                                  Your eyes are like weapons

Your lips could teach lessons

Don't use them so reckless

'Cause for you I'm helpless

You gotta take caution

You know that I'm all in

The chance of me falling

You know that it's often

But if you don't wanna stay

Then please stop moving this way

You're starting up a wildfire in my heart

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

You're starting up a wildfire in my head

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

This love is so costly

It's killing me softly

Don't know what to call it

This thing that you started

You make it look easy

The way that you lead me

Into the fire babe

Are you coming with me, yeah?

But if you don't wanna stay (Don't wanna stay)

Then please stop moving this way

You're starting up a wildfire in my heart

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

You're starting up a wildfire in my head

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

(In my head)

(What you meant)

Hope it's what you want

Not just what you do

(What you want)

(Just what you do)

Hope it's what you meant

Not just what you do

Livestream . LANY

 

Forgot what did I purchase first but one week after the Twenty One Pilots livestream was LANY. 

I missed the sold out shows of LANY in Manila but I was able to see them for free in Trinoma couple of years back and yes, up to this day, I still regret not attending to any of the 3-days sold out in MOA? Araneta??

By missing that 3-days and without concert for 2020 and just because I want to see them, I decided to buy a ticket and it just cost less than $20. 

I didn’t thought of it much but I was also worried that we don’t have internet that day when I woke up. Fortunately, we got internet that morning. Less anxiety. 

Connected my iPad to the speaker and by just waking up few minutes before 9am, I was in bed and I can attend a concert. No need to travel and dressed up. Lol 

Just on the first song, I realized that it was my ideal LANY show that I wish I was able to watch it with someone. 

One few reason why I can convince myself and not to feel bad about missing the 3-days sold out was I can’t imagine the fan girls. I can’t handle it that I just want an intimate show with LANY an acoustic one. It was this show and I’m alone but I was able to enjoy it. 50 minute show was a little bit short and with all their albums, how can you pick up songs to put on a playlist. I wish it was a little bit longer even they add up on tickets just to make a show for 1 hour and 30 minutes or make it 2 hours. I know it will not hurt so bad plus few more songs. 

I know we can just search for some full concerts on YouTube but we can do that anytime and by attending to one livestream is like being present at the moment while watching it with people all over the world. You can’t get that much these days. At least we know we are being united in attending one event at the moment. 

This show didn’t make me cry but I really wish I was with M during this show. 

It actually makes my heart happy because it was my ideal intimate show by LANY. 

Someone also uploaded the full show after and I once again will admit that I rewatch it as well because it was so good. 

Search it out if your ideal show of this band is as same as mine. 

Livestream . Twenty One Pilots

 

I was somehow upset with some things and then I received an email about an update about the album and the livestream. Checked how much it will be and on when it was then I bought a ticket. 

I never wake up early just for shows that I already missed a lot of it the past year. Usually it will be from 6am-9am but due to the change on my habits, I’m so sure about this livestream. 

I didn’t expect a lot but you know it’s Twenty One Pilots. I wonder on how they will do it since crowd is one very important part of their concert. 

When I woke up by 7am that Saturday, we don’t have internet. Great. 

Good thing I was able to have data and now my dilemma will my 8gb data will survive the livestream. 

I was anxious that I might just waste my ticket. That made me so anxious on the first part of the show and at the back of my head it might be cut any minute when I maximized the data usage that i might not finish it. So much fun on my first time on livestream. 

It was not cut by my data usage. I was able to finish it with a high level on anxiety. 

It was amazing. 

My ticket and the price I paid was worth it. 

General admission ticket price and a comfort of my own bed when you just wake up, its a different one but worth it. Even some parts or should I say most of it didn’t end properly. Haha

I was expecting to be a little emotional on some acoustic most especially on that version of Heathens but no I was emotional when they played Car Radio. 

Of course for all the songs on that setlist, I got tears on Car Radio. 

I also can’t believe that it will be part of the set list but that’s one of the favorite so I can see why it is included. 

The show was something that you will never expect to see most especially if you have any idea on how they do on an actual concert. 

I also just realized that it’s been almost 6 years when I first saw them here in Manila. 

Someone (of course) uploaded it on YouTube few hours after and I’m not gonna lie, I watched it again. 

When the show ended, I’m one of the attendees asking for more or maybe just a replay button. 

I will never get tired watching it. 

Also those new rendition of the songs. 

The appearance of Jenna and Debby. I wish Rosie was somehow part of it. 

The dance moves of Tyler and the drum skill of Josh. 

No spoilers but I bet if you weren’t able to attend then for sure you already saw the snippets of it. 

Kudos to everyone that was part of the show and to whoever was the mastermind of everything. It was beautiful. 

If ever it is still somewhere online, go and do yourself a favor and watch it.

On Repeat . Lost Cause

Lost Cause by Billie Eilish 

Something's in the...

Something's in the air right now
Like I'm losin' track of time (Time, time)
Like I don't really care right now
But maybe that's fine
You weren't even there that day
I was waitin' on you (You, you)
I wonder if you were aware that day
Was the last straw for me and I know

I sent you flowers
Did you even care?
You ran the shower
And left them by the stairs
Ooh-ooh-ooh, a-a-a-ayy

Thought you had your shit together, but damn, I was wrong (Wrong)
You ain't nothin' but a lost cause (Cause, cause)
And this ain't nothin' like it once was (Was, was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job (Job)
You ain't nothin' but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothin' like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job

I used to think you were shy (Shy)
But maybe you just had nothing on your mind
Maybe you were thinkin' 'bout yourself all the time
I used to wish you were mine (Mine)
But that was way before I realized
Someone like you would always be so easy to find
(So) So easy (So, so)
Ea-, mm, mm

Gave me no flowers
Wish I didn't care
You'd been gone for hours
Could be anywhere
I, I, I

Thought you would've grown eventually, but you proved me wrong (Wrong)
You ain't nothing but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothing like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw (Yeah)
But you got no job (No job)
You ain't nothing but a lost cause (Cause)
And this ain't nothing like it once was (Was)
I know you think you're such an outlaw (Think you're such an outlaw)
But you got no job

(What did I tell you?)
(Don't get complacent)
(It's time to face it now, na-na, na-na, na-na)
(What did I tell you?)
(Don't get complacent)
(It's time to face it now, na-na, na-na, na-na)