Random . January 2018

Happy new year!

Ang Larawan and Siargao. Wow. 

Makes me crave to be in the beach right now. 

Oh. F. -_-

How much longer. 

I guess, if I was able to survive one of the busiest month then I can still do it but I'm so close on breaking. :( 

Will I break in 2018? 

When you appreciate it more but then it's too late. 

You can't blame me if I don't want to stay here anymore. 

That's them in you. 

Oh thank you for telling me that. Such a relief. 

Test my patience, I got a lot of it in my pocket. 

Yay. Renewed. :)

I added red to my faded blue hair because I'm getting sick of blue but then blue is coming out again. "Blue Ruin" will never ever gonna leave you. #gooddyeyoung

Laptop with stickers just finally happened. 

Panicking because, ticket. :( 

Yes. I'm screwed. F. / oh wait. I don't fucked up. Got some proof. Hashtag no to self pity. 

Just to remind myself that I don't watch crime series for nothing. Starting to watch one of my favorite. 

One thing I learned over the years, you gotta fight for your own. 

That's three in one. 

When you're the only one calling the shots but still they got a lot to say. 

I will trade places with you right now just to experience new places and just appreciate everything. 

Food trip with sissy. 

H E L P. 

You guys can totally do this again but please somehow manageable. 

Alone shit. -_- 

Turned my notification off. For real. 

Stressed out. It's time to procrastinate. 

My future advice to people is eating me alive. I can't even apply that on my own. 

This one doesn't require last minute. 

Am I the one who need to?

If I started it, you will ask my existence. 

Avoiding to write even the one that I'm so willing to do. 

Fingers crossed. 

It can happen or not. 

First thing first. 

I just want to cry while thinking about it. :( 

Research. 

I hate funeral at some point. Plus staring at this altar reminds me of my dad big time. 0118

6 1/2 years later and still you are my instant tear-jerker. I miss you daddy. 0118 

Last minute shit again. 

I learned to avoid people. 

I don't have time to chika. Next time we can but not now. 

You don't have plans for it? 

I don't think I need to reply to that. 

The result of trusting and believing in them. Tss.

The result of having no time for myself. :( 

I'm not bitter anymore. I just want it to happen. 

Been to a thousand trip to the dentist and this one is a bit nerve-wracking. / that was quick. 

Why do dentist ask you a lot when you can't response.

My much needed 11 minutes therapy. 

Some conversation doesn't need to be heard by other people first-hand. 

Feels like I will stop caring anytime. 

I was wrong then. This is the busiest month than the last. 

I badly need it. #TourFour

Reflecting about life at the most fragile time of the day. 

I'm slowly breaking down. F. 

I'm also starting to doubt if I'm making the right decision. 

I'm totally not ready for such. 

I badly need some comfort from friends or maybe just a longer me-time. 

I just have to stop for today and rest my brain. It's too much. 

Good to know that it's moving. 

It's only Tuesday? What. 

I once again, survived.

Where are the others?

Years Later

Introvert self is talking…

My school in high school will be celebrating its 65th anniversary next month and lots of activities are on scheduled and I'm not fully aware of it all, I only know a major event to be followed by a Grand Parade and an Alumni Homecoming on March. 

I just want to talk about high school. I know I did like some post about it but my thoughts about it somehow changed and a bit wider right now. 

Do I still want to go back in high school? Maybe, because I like how we all are innocence during those times. I want to go back and maybe try to be-at-the-moment because I think at some point I did want to fast forward to end it. Sad. 

Some of my classmates are reminiscing on chat about something and I totally have no idea on what they are talking about. Its been 12 years since we graduated high school. Maybe because my introvert self is busy keeping myself sane that time or what, I somehow can’t really remember. Real world already eaten me up.

I may join them in the that alumni homecoming or that parade and my introvert self is nervous on how I will be able to keep up with them. It’s been way too long and to be honest I did not make any group of friends in high school. Maybe I did but once I was done with high school, I’m totally over it. I tried to move and left partially of everything behind.

Small town issues. 

I’d love to reminisce with all them but I hope that I will be able to catch up on. 

12 years later you will know if you admire the right people back then or not. If they are still the same or they already changed for the better. Alumni / Reunions are scary at some point for my introvert self but I will try to join them just to be at the moment and to make some more memories. 

We all changed and I know that. I did change a lot too but I know that high school was a huge part of me even I can’t even remember details. One thing is for sure, I like the innocence back then. I will still try to remember things but right now as I’m trying I can't help but just miss the old days and it makes me sad.  Now I’m regretting of not making a diary back then.

Oh wait I know I did write some things during last months of high school ... and it was a bad idea. lol 

bye. 

On Repeat . Fine Time

Fine Time by Eraserheads

[Chorus]
I hope we could spend more time together
A few hours is better than never
If we could only make it longer
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine

I think it's time to clean your car
I'm not home if someone calls
We could go out for a day
We could sing some songs we hate
Why not swim in someone's pool
Jump a crane 12 storeys high
Have a picnic in my room
Sit outside and watch the moo

[Repeat chorus]

We could drive in to the malls
Or stay home and watch TV
I don't care if we don't have lunch
Just as long as we have iced tea
I could take you to a film
Hunt for books and magazines
Is that new song out on sale
I think that dress is kinda pale

[Repeat chorus]

There are times when we disagree
My heart sings to the sea
I'm always anxious when we kiss on me
Please don't tire of understanding me
Being with you makes me feel so safe
I don't care if we go out of town
I don't care if we sleep all day
Basta't kayakap ka ay okey

[Repeat chorus]

A whole week would be fine
A whole month would be fine
A whole year would be fine
A decade would fine
A century would be fine
Fine, fine time [4x]
Forever would be fine

Cluttered Thoughts

There are too much emotion today to the point that I'm being confused about life.

Same things as before, missing the old way of living, the people who we get used to everyday and just the uncomplicated life of before.

I know we got to move forward or else time and day will leave us instantly. I got so much thought earlier that I'm so willing to write and share and to give more time just to reflect but unfortunately, reality hits. I can't have that time to reflect at least for now.

I'm not so sure if I'm just procrastinating to write, blocking the idea of jotting it all down or I just don't want to talk about it at all or maybe lets talk about it. I don't know.

Nothing has change, there are still days that I'm so confused of everything but still keeps going because, reality.

Hopefully, I'll get a day where I will have time to write all my thoughts because even on my personal notes and for the random rants, I already skip and I miss writing it all down.

Too much things since the beginning of this year but thankful for the reminder to atleast appreciate life.

On Repeat . Before The Babies (Spotify)

Here it is! I do listen to this everyday and to everyone who don't have the full album or at least the physical one, this is your chance to listen to every song.

Enjoy!